27.02.2007., utorak

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From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] DEAD SOLDIER EXHIBITION STOPPED
Date: November 15, 2006 12:48:49 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK

the artist mark mcgowan was ordered to stop his dead soldier performance in Birmingham New Street today.
the artist was to lie down in british army fatigues, commando boots and a red beret for 10 hours a day for one week, but this morning was told by police that he wouldnt be allowed to continue the event due to safety reasons.
an article appearred in today's sun newspaper condemning the performance

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006530141,00.html

and several radio stations continued along that theme.
mcgowan says, ' i know its provocative lying down pretending to be dead in a busy street like Birmingham New Street, but that's my point its supposed to be. there is no difference between a war artist who paints the horrors of war and what i am doing.

http://markmcgowan.org

day one......

laid down for 6 hours today dressed as a soldier in Birmingham, New Street, it rained and i got soaking wet. it was a very emotional experience, one person kicked me, lots of people reacted, generally it was quite positive. will be back tomorrow morning at 10am. also the police came along.

day two.....

performance stopped

The artist Mark McGowan is to dress up in british army camoflague fatigues, with commando boots and a red beret on and lie down in New Street,( junction of Needless Alley), in Birmingham City Centre, curled up in a ball for one week. The performance is called Dead Soldier 2006 and is neither anti-war or pro-military, put an artistic comment on current times.

The project starts on Tuesday 14th November 2006 at 10am and lasts until 20th November 2006.

The project is commissioned by the International Project Space, which is part of the University UCE of Birmingham and is funded by the Arts Council.

for more info
International Project Space
Andrew Hunt, Curator
07886002310

Bournville Centre for Visual Arts
Birmingham Institute of Art and Design
University of Central England

www.internationalprojectspace.org

From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] ARTIST TO TIE ARM TO LAMPOST FOR TWO WEEKS
Date: November 29, 2006 7:09:11 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


THE WITHERED ARM ,
for peace 2006.

In an extra ordinary art event artist Mark McGowan is to stay with his arm raised above his head and gaffer taped to a lampost outside an art gallery in Brick Lane East London as an act, to ask for peace through out the world for Christmas. The performance is to last two weeks, it starts on Sunday 10th December and finishes on Boxing Day 26th December 2006. Two wooden splints are to be placed on McGowan's right arm and will be gaffer taped. Strapping will be put around his chest, forcing his arm to stay erect and vertical. A hook on the splints will then feed into an eye placed onto the lampost. McGowan will sit at the foot of the lampost, for 24 hours a day every day of the week for two weeks. Obviously toilet breaks will be allowed, but his arm will not be lowered. The blood will rush from his arm causing it to wither, his muscles will regress and after two weeks serious problems may have occurred.
McGowan says, 'i just want the world to stop fighting, i just want them to stop killing each other.'

for more info 07944533010

From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] artist still tied to lampost after 5 days
Date: December 14, 2006 5:59:55 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/blogon/2006/12/artist_mark_mcgowan_ties_himse.php

Last Sunday artist Mark McGowan tied his arm to a lampost, outside an Art Gallery in Brick Lane East London as a protest for peace at Christmas. He said he is going to stay there until Boxing Day. The artist said
'I dont think that we can make a difference but we can offer a resistance to all the troubles that are going on in the world, i dont think that we as a country are making matters any better and so this is my small contribution.'

for more info
07955433010

http://www.thebricklanegallery.com/
http://markmcgowan.org/


From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] I'M ON THE TELLY ON CHRISTMAS DAY
Date: December 22, 2006 11:53:54 AM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


Happy Christmas.
just to let you know i am on Telly on Christmas Day
ITV from 9.25am until 10.30am
the programme is called Cathedral
and its when i crawled on my hands and knees
from London to Canterbury with a rose
between my teeth, 18 boxes of chocolates tied
around my wrists and ankles
and a big sign on my back
saying 'Could You Love Me'.

so have a great Christmas
and a Happy New Year too

Mark McGowan

From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] ARTIST TO EAT A SWAN
Date: January 3, 2007 4:18:19 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


'ARTIST TO EAT A SWAN 2007'......press release

In an extra ordinary art performance, controversial artist Mark McGowan is to eat a swan, in what he calls a protest against royalty,the rich and the upper class. Only the Queen is allowed to eat a swan and anyone caught eating one is liable for arrest and prosecution.

McGowan from Peckham, South East London comes from a working class background and see's the eating of a swan a symbol of the upper class and the breaking of a taboo. A man was recently given two months prison for eating a swan because he was hungry. The performance is to take place at the Guy Hilton Gallery, 35 Fournier Street on Saturday 13th January 2007 at 5pm.

McGowan says,
"This country has one set of laws for royalty, the rich and the upper classes and another set for the homeless, the poor and the working class. With this art performance/protest i want to make a statement, just because you are the Queen of England, it doesn't give you the right to abide by different laws. They do not pay tax the royals, while the rich and the upper classes avoid it at all costs. They break laws, they start wars and they kill people. Basically they do as they like and get away with it. Whats the point of the royal family anyway? Surely it is them that are keeping the class structure going, this great divide. The sooner they are gone the better. I know that by eating a swan i might get arrested, but i want to make a stand, for the poor, the down trodden and the working class. Even though i do not believe that i can make a difference with this protest, i can offer a resistance."

Saturday 13th January 2007

5pm at The Guy Hilton Gallery
35 Fournier Street London E1


for more info call
Guy Hilton 07958595033
Mark McGowan 07944533010

Artist To Eat A Swan 2007
is part of
....so sad
which is a group exhibition based around the theme of sadness.

press release February 2007


From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] PICCADILLY LINE JULY 7TH TUBE BOMB RE-ENACTMENT
Date: January 29, 2007 9:52:00 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


PICCADILLY LINE JULY 7TH TUBE BOMB RE-ENACTMENT

An East London art gallery is to put on a controversial exhibition, the Piccadilly Line July 7th tube bomb re-enactment.
The show is being produced by the artist Mark McGowan and the notorious Aaron Barschak, the comedy terrorist, who will be collaborating for the very first time.
Gallery visitors and members of the public will be invited into the tube train in a tunnel, gallery in a converted toilet space. The doors will be locked,(for 1 hour), the lights switched off and the nightmare will begin.
McGowan says,
"Hopefully this will be a chance for Londoners to come to terms with what happened that day and what might happen in the future. I think it will be a cross between art, theatre and a ghost train fun fair ride".
Guy Hilton the gallery owner said,
"Its really exciting getting Aaron Barschak and Mark McGowan to work together on this project, we are all looking forward to it. They are going to paint all the walls, even a tunnel, also we've a smoke machine and some tube train seats. Obviously this is a very serious project/topic and I know both Aaron and Mark will deal with it in a thoughful, yet provocative manner."

for more info and images
mark mcgowan 07944533010
guy hilton 07958595033

PICCADILLY LINE JULY 7TH TUBE BOMB RE-ENACTMENT
The Guy Hilton Gallery, 35 Fournier Street, London, E1
Saturday 10th February 2007 5pm


From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] press release... KICK GEORGE BUSH'S ASS AT THE LINCOLN CENTER NEW YORK.
Date: February 16, 2007 9:09:57 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK


BRITISH ARTIST MARK MCGOWAN IS GOING TO NEW YORK

more info and image http://markmcgowan.org/
london 00447944533010
New York 212 268 1522

ARTIST TO CRAWL NON STOP FOR 72 HOURS ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES AROUND NEW YORK DRESSED AS GEORGE BUSH INVITING MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC TO KICK GEORGE BUSHS ASS.

press release....february 2007

In an extra ordinary art performance, controversial London artist Mark McGowan is to dress up as the President George Bush and crawl on his hands and knees for an incredible non stop 72 hours, he will be covering an amazing 36 miles on the streets of New York, McGowan will have a sign on his posterior saying KICK MY ASS, he will be inviting members of the public, New Yorkers and allcomers to kick the sign. The event will start at the main entrance to the Scope Arrt Fair
The Tent at Lincoln Center
Damrosch Park,
Corner of 62 Street and 10th Avenue
on Thursday 22nd Febuary 2007 at 3pm and circumnavigate New York, McGowan will be wearing knee pads and a cushion will be placed inside his pants to cope with the amount of pain expected from the continual kicking.
McGowan says,
'what i am doing is offering the people of America, New York and visitors a service, think of it as a kind of theraputic engagement. Hopefully people will be able to come and kick me (the President, George Bush) as hard as they like and gain some comfort in the fact that they can say i kicked George in the ass. On a more serious note this is a protest against George Bush and his policies and i am expecting injuries, i just hope not too severe.'

The performance is called KICK GEORGE BUSH'S ASS
and has been commisioned by Charlie Smith.

for more info contact
London 07944533010
New York 212 268 1522

From: dan@ARTISTSANDMAKERS.COM
Subject: Re: [LIVEART] press release... KICK MARK McGOWAN's ARSE ON WORTHING PROM.
Date: February 16, 2007 11:42:04 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
ARTIST TO CRAWL NON STOP FOR 72 MINUTES ON HIS HANDS AND KNEES AROUND WORTHING DRESSED AS MARK McGOWAN INVITING MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC TO KICK MARK McGOWAN’s ARSE.


press release....February 2007((In an extraordinary art performance, controversial Worthing artist Dan Thompson is to dress up as the artist Mark McGowan and crawl on his hands and knees for an incredible non stop 72 minutes. He will be covering an amazing mile or so on Worthing promenade. Thompson will have a sign on his posterior saying KICK MY BOTTOM and will be inviting members of the public, people from nearby Brighton and all comers to kick the sign (he did consider a sign saying KICK MY ASS but realised the RSPCA would not be happy, and thought KICK MY ARSE a little too strong for the South Coast).

The event may start at the main entrance to the Worthing Pier on Thursday 22nd February 2007 at 3pm and move west along the prom. Thompson will be wearing knee pads and a cushion will be placed inside his trousers to cope with the amount of pain expected from the continual kicking, mainly from many other live artists expected to make a special trip to Worthing.(
Thompson says 'what I am doing is offering the people of Worthing and visitors a service, think of it as a kind of therapeutic engagement. Hopefully people will be able to come and kick as hard as they like and gain some comfort in the fact that they can say I kicked that awful Mark McGowan, from the Richard & Judy show, in the bottom. On a more serious note this is a protest against Mark McGowan and his poor art, feeble band-wagon-jumping, third rate headline-grabbing stunts and I am expecting injuries, probably a bit of back ache and maybe stiff knees. It’s quite chilly on Worthing prom in February.'

More at www.artistsandmakers.com

From: chunkymark1964@YAHOO.COM
Subject: [LIVEART] press release..British artist anti-Bush stunt provokes violent reaction in America
Date: February 26, 2007 12:35:08 PM GMT+01:00
To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK
Reply-To: LIVEART@JISCMAIL.AC.UK

reuters video http://www.reuters.com/news/video/videoStory?videoId=12565


THE BRITISH artist Mark McGowan has been forced to curtail his latest stunt after it inspired a violent reaction in New York. He had planned to spend three days crawling the streets dressed in a grey suit and a latex George Bush mask, with a sign reading "Kick My Ass" affixed to his backside, but was verbally attacked less than three hours into the performance by angry supporters of the president.
It started so promisingly, surrounded by television crews from all the major American news organisations. McGowan has a proven talent for arousing controversy, most recently by eating a swan in protest against the monarchy, and his presence drew welcome attention to the Scope Art Fair.
"People of America," he told reporters, "I am going to crawl on my hands and knees non-stop for 72 hours, offering you all the opportunity to kick me, George Bush, in the ass. I, George, deserves it, for his irresponsible global and international policies which are killing people and destroying this planet. Let the ass-kicking begin."
With that, he pulled the mask down over his face, adjusted his knee pads, and crawled out into the pouring rain. It was a filthy day, but he remained cheerful. "The weather conditions are against me but I love that part of it," he said, "If it continues to rain like this I'll just keep going. People live in worse conditions than this. They used to send me out cross-country running when I was a kid at school. I didn't want to go out then either."
McGowan has a track record for acts of endurance, having once rolled a peanut across London from Camberwell Art College to 10 Downing Street, to draw attention to student debt, but this is not the first time he has gone home early. In 2004 he tried to travel from London to Glasgow in a shopping trolley, but gave up 17 days and 65 miles later. Last year he lay motionless on the streets of Birmingham wearing an army uniform for an artwork called Dead Soldier, but withdrew when he was threatened with violence.
"You've got to be careful with alcoholics and children, because they're the ones that'll get you every time," he observed.
The first New Yorkers he encountered were bemused, and for several blocks the performance suffered from a lack of willing participants. A grinning security guard posed with his foot against McGowan's backside for a photo opportunity, but despite the thick padding in his trousers, people were reluctant to kick him hard. Even here, in a famously liberal quarter of a city with little love for George Bush, no-one was keen to boot the president in the seat of his pants.
Retired professor David Willis said "it looks like nonsense to me" but was eventually persuaded to swing his right foot, confessing afterwards that "kicking his ass felt so good". Student Wilmer Cantos gave him a gentle prod, and immediately regretted it. He said: "I felt kinda bad, because he's the leader of our nation. I think he does deserve it though, because he does a really bad job with our country."
Texan Cecilia Garza admitted disliking her former governor, but only gave him a token tap on the rear. "Kicking the man in the pants I felt bad because I knew it was an actor," she said, "but symbolically it felt somewhat OK. I poked him with my umbrella as well."
In Times Square, three burly men with handlebar moustaches were less sympathetic, calling McGowan a "goddamn liberal" and threatening to kick him "in the jaw" adding, "you'd have terrorists up your ass if it wasn't for George Bush." Shortly afterwards, he decided to head back to the art fair, to remain there for the duration.
"I thought I could cope with it, but to be really truthful, I got scared," he said later. "I thought about going back on the streets but it could actually get physical. I spoke to my mum on the phone and she said, It's not worth it.' I don't mind it being a failure. I don't mind people saying, What a lame attempt,' because in the end it's my safety. The security guard said to me, You're lucky you're in New York. You couldn't do this in many other states in America because you'd get killed. They'd come out and shoot you.'"




- 12:03 - Komentari (12) - Isprintaj - #

26.02.2007., ponedjeljak

Želite li šaputati ovci na uho? (rok je nažalost prošao...)

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"ESQUILOS LEJANOS"
ART FOR SHEEP
A Carlos Cortes project
developed in collaboration with SAL (Spanish Artists in London)

Call for contributions:

A heard of sheep that roam freely on the hills of Aragón (Spain) will be provided with a number of artworks based on/inspired by the form and function of the traditional Sheep Bell.
After the sheep have enjoyed their new “sheep bells” for a few days the objects will be collected and exhibited in the Museo de Historia de Zaragoza.

We are inviting artists and writers that could be inspired by this idea to submit texts that could be incorporated into this project. Texts could be whispered to the sheep ears, sent to a mobile phone one of the sheep will be carrying, fed to them as edible poems or made into a song to be sang on the prairie and then performed on the opening night. These texts will also be part of the final exhibition. (Find below further information about the ideas behind “ESQUILOS LEJANOS”)

Deadline: 16th of December 2006
Send works by email to: carlos@ccortes.fsnet.co.uk, subject: TEXTS-ESQUILOS LEJANOS. You can add your CV, or explain why you are interested, but texts will be judged on their merit only.
There are no fees, works will be credited on the exhibition and the sheep will be forever grateful.
A graphic dossier including records of the exhibition, the sheep, and a collection of texts will be sent to the participants.
Images of some of the sheep bells can be found on: http://www.s-a-l.co.uk/esquilos

Exhibition: MUSEO DE HISTORIA DE ZARAGOZA, Zaragoza, Spain.
Dates: 21st of Dec-2006 to 25th of January 2007

This project is part of TABLAS, a programme of exhibitions organized by E-Migre and sponsored by Zaragoza’s Council.

ESQUILOS LEJANOS attempts to generate new audiences for Contemporary Art, as well as questioning the traditional lack of dialogue between urban and rural communities and exploring the impact that Art can have in sheep’s lives. The project will also broaden the concept of what an exhibiting space can be and will enliven the sights on the barren hills of Aragon’s rural landscape.

About the “ESQUILOS”:
“Esquilos” is the local word for “cencerros”, which means sheep bells in Spanish. These practical and beautiful objects have different shapes and sizes, and they also fulfill several functions. Primarily they are used to keep the herd “happy” and mobile, they help the sheep to remain together. They are very often given to the sheep that best follow the shepherd, but they are also used to help the little lambs to locate their mothers amongst hundreds of other sheep. Since they are hand made, there are not two esquilos that have the same sound.
Esquilos can be also a sign of death: the shepherd will identify those sheep which haven’t bred so that they can be taken to the slaughter house.
The “badajo” is a wooden stick hanging from within the bell that produces that unique sound. They are made of very hard wood, but -despite of that- in time they get eroded by the continuous hits and very often end up having a penis-like shape. That’s why the term is also used in Spanish as slang for the male organ.
The random score of a herd and its "Esquilos" is in our opinion awaiting for a clever composer who uses it in a concert "for prepared Piano and herd with sheep bells", or something alike. Anyone out there?

- 23:17 - Komentari (2) - Isprintaj - #

19.02.2007., ponedjeljak

Znate onu našu…. Tiruriruriru?

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(Ako ne znate ovaj presladak vic iz naslova, klečite na kukuruzu (retro verzija) tj. miješajte anđeoske kartice (new age verzija) da vam se posreći da vam ga netko ispriča. Vic je gestualno auditivan, i ne izgleda dobro u obliku teksta, bez popratne slike.)

Bilo je krajnje vrijeme… da me se odvuče u clubbing po Londonu. Tko će bolje obaviti taj zadatak od Kokošje udruge, najboljih prijateljica iz domovine.

Gašo sa svojim haljama od 100% organskog pamuka kupljenima u fair trade dućanima ne bi bio sasvim primjeren za tu djelatnost koja zahtijeva sklonost nečemu daleko manje društveno odgovornom od bilo čega na što je Gašo ikad pomislio. Ali ni Eustahije ni Đoka, uvijek besprijekorno sapeti nekom aristokratsko-komunističko prslučno kravatnom kombinacijom s dvostrukim ironijskim odmakom koji su se netom vratili sa sastanka mladih marksista spinozista ne bi bili pravi izbor. Oni naime, imaju stila (ili barem neko veselo i kompleksno objašnjenje istog), a za pravi odlazak u disko, mračni, gnjusni, smrdljivi, gnojni disko, stil nije na listi potrebnih kvaliteta.

Kokošja udruga me posjetila u osakaćenom sastavu, prisutna sa samo 40% zastupljenosti (tj. 60% ako računamo i mene) – dakle, Lo i Srnica. Od preostale dvije koje se nisu ukazale u viziti jedna predivnica samo što nije rodila (trbuh do zuba je pomalo nepraktičan tjelesni asesoar pri turističko-alkoholnim aktivnostima), a druga rmbači na hrvatskoj dalekovidnici. I ovako se nas tri skoro podavismo spavajući u mojoj sobi veličine čarapice za bebe od 0-3 mjeseca. Da nam nije bilo Srnice koja je revnosno spremala za sve nas, ne znam kako bismo Lo i ja, proizvođačice kaosa.

Ovaj modul od moje studentske sobe jedva da je prikladan za primanje čak i ovako izrazito bliskih mi osobica u količini nikako ne većoj od 2, čiji ugljični dioksid (ili još gore, Palomu Picasso koja susreće Calvina Kleina koji susreće starog Jean-Paula) mi nije problem udisati. Vizita je opetovano izrazila svoje nezadovoljstvo veličinom, kao i lokacijom moje sobe (Ono, ak bi se mogla preselit na Notting Hill idući put kad dođu (u ljeto), to bi im sjajno odgovaralo. Ovaj East End im je malo muljav.) Vizita me i hranila i pojila skoro cijelo vrijeme koliko su bile ovdje, jer sam dokazanom fascinantnom sposobnošću raspolaganja novcem spala na šest funti dva tjedna prije dolaska iduće stipendije.

Disklejmer: ja, naime, raspolažem slabim znanjima o suvremenom ”noćnom životu” Zagreba, tako da će usporedbe biti malo ćelave. Zadnji put sam izašla tamo negdje 1997. i još mi se i sad spava od toga. Postoji nekoliko ozbiljnih prepreka spoju mene i noćnih izlazaka u diskač. Jedan je taj što sam upala u kazanče sredstava za spavanje kad sam se tek rodila i iza ponoći se pretvaram u bundevu koja je imala jako lošu bundevoliku egzistenciju i misli da su bundeve potlačena klasa. Postajem grintavi gremlin kojem se SPAVA.

(Što me podsjeti na jedan pradavni ljetni izlazak naše male Udruge kad smo si, jako mlade i neprilično glupe čak i za te tadašnje nježne Arsenove godine, odlučile ubosti par tabletica. Pa smo si tak malo čvaknule dimidril – antihistaminik i antitusik tj. sredstvo protiv alergije i kašlja. Ono, da poludimo. Tak smo poludile da su nam se kapci slijepili nakon dvajst minuta, na žalost, nakon što smo se već spustile u grad. Uzbrdo smo se penjale u Međugorje stilu.)

Dakle, ako do dvojke moja glava nije nježno položena na jastuk, jadne moje staklene cipelice.

Druga prepreka entuzijastičnom lajanju pri spomenu izlaska na mjesta na kojima nema fine hrane (te na kojima ne mogu razgovarati jer ne čitam s usana) je što je vjerojatnost da u disku upoznam zanimljivo biće bilo kojeg spola ravna tome da zatrudnim kao posljedica toga što sam kiselila kupus i motala sarmice. Doduše, to je uvjerenje ponešto povezano s tim da se zadnji takav izlazak još uvijek poklapao s fazom teške adolescentske mutave mrljavosti.

Ipak, tri stvari govore u prilog odlasku u disko (okej, znam da bolje zvuči kad se kaže klub, ali žao mi je, barem dvije od tri smrdljive šupe koja smo mi posjetile puno bi se bolje opisale kao disko. Diskać zapravo, s mekim ć).

Jedna je rašiveno trzanje udova protiv kojeg uglavnom nemam ništa, dapače, prilično ga volim, a druga je što se ipak nađe dovoljno slatkiša za oči kako to lijepo kažu ovi domoroci (eye candy) da mi ne bude dosadno.

Bonkasi doduše kad tad progovore, i to je ton koji uglavnom drastično pokvari sliku.
(Pri vrhu trenutnih favorita je ulet nekog nabrijanog Deepak Chopra wannabe socijalnog radnika Srnici koji je glasio: ”Vidio sam te kad si zijevnula, nisi izgubila ništa od svoje privlačnosti.” Nazdravlje.) Dobro, naravno da riječi u tom liptanju znoja i pirsanju bubnjića ne igraju baš veliku ulogu već je u pitanju neki drugi fluid koji pritom cirkulira između dva bića, ali te tekućine, bojim se, nije bilo ni za nakapat jedno oko.

Treća, i najvažnija je što je odlazak u diskač čak i s ovako kljastom Kokošjom udrugom, luda zabava. Ne znam točno zašto je to tako, jer Lo uglavnom prakticira gljivljenje pri takvim izlascima – najveća aktivnost joj je da ugura lakat u neku rupu oko šanka, i tako stabilizirana dostojanstveno (alkohol i riječ dostojanstveno idu zajedno samo kad je Lo u pitanju) sipa omanji vinograd niz grlo, dok se frajeri oko nje pretvaraju u zgrčeno klupko povampirenih hormona pod njenim bademastim pogledom. Što se Srnice tiče, ona se anđeoski razmahuje, ali samo na određenu muziku, koja se uglavnom pleše u paru i uključuje zavidne motoričke sposobnosti i udnu koordinaciju, a to malo koprofaga koji se povlače po takvim rupama može pratiti. Obje su u stogodišnjim sretnim vezama (posebni pozdravi Filozofu i Avijatičaru).

E sad, fali mi malo komparativnog materijala. Dakle, kao što rekoh, zadnji moji noćni izlasci u diskač sežu još iz vremena dok Tuđman nije ni pomišljao na perike, a i mi smo ovom prilikom pohodili tri ograničeno reprezentativna mjesta za London tako da će ”tamo za razliku od ovdje” biti još manje pouzdano nego što su takve usporedbe inače. Ali ne mogu odoljeti usporedbama. Dakle, ono što prvo upada u…. hm… oči u te tri drvarnice (od kojih je jedna bila gay) je ekstra predatorska atmosfera. Gledanje nije opcija, cijeni se ofenzivan pristup. Nije da te ovlaš zašlatare, nego ti uredno prolaze punim dlanom po cijeloj širini guzice, u slow motionu. Što je zapravo, prilično simpatično, ta apsolutna samouvjerenost i pretpostavljanje prava na moje dupe. Više mi se to sviđa, spremno priznajem, nego da netko tamo opliće, sapliće, štrika nazuvke i štuca pokušavajući biti simpatičan, ili ti ovlaš uvaljuje svoje prepone na foru koja gužva u tramvaju sori e. Ako si me već krenuo pipat, onda pipaj brate, i suoči se s posljedicama ako ti ispadne gebis kad te mlatnem, a nemoj se pravit da ti je ruka slučajno zapela na mom dupetu dok si krenuo zavrtat hlače da se pripremiš za gaženje grožđa. E sad, daleko manje mi je simpatično kad to isto pokušavaju napraviti sa svojim jezikom. Dok svoju guzicu mogu nekako vidjeti kao javno dobro, svoja usta bogami ne mogu. Back off. Ne žvaljam se večeras. Odnosno, ne žvaljam se s vama.

Doduše, malko sam zažalila zbog toga drugo jutro kad su mi navrle uspomene jer me jedan predivan komad kovrčavog ženskog bića s pirsem ispod donje usne uljudno pitao za poljubac prethodno me (odgovarajući pridjevi iz soft porn literature: nježno, mazno, zavodljivo, ruka joj je kliznula, elegantno, pohotno ali opet tako čedno) obgrlivši oko struka. Ali to duplanje spolnih pluseva u mom slučaju uvijek bolje izgleda ako ostane nerealizirano, tako da je to (duboki uzdah žaljenja) vjerojatno ipak bila dobra odluka.

Osim kanader pristupa i impresivnih odjevnih kombinacija ponekog trepavičastog transvestita (samo u jednom od ta tri kljuba) the rest is pretty much jebeno identično ko u Zagrebu.



U idućem nastavku čitajte…

Lo i Srnica u epizodi: Alternativna taxi linija Mile End-Mile End

I tako ja istrčavam u donjem dijelu sive snoopy pidžamice iz H&M-a koja se još davno stisnula u pranju (šifra: bicke), s nezavezanim campersicama na golim neobrijanim nožicama i u krem kaputu te trčim obezglavljeno gore dole po Mile End Road pokušavajući naći srebrni taksi koji navodno već dvadeset minuta čeka moje prije ispred ulaza u Campus. Sva sreća da smo taksi rezervirale još prije dva dana, za slučaj elementarne nepogode…



“And the history books forgot about us, and the Bible didn’t mention us, not even once…”

Dobro kaže Regina Spektor.




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Has a white to creamy white skin and inner flesh that is similar in taste to a red globe tomato.

tea cosy 1

Begins anew with every birth. A conscious knowledge that roles could be reversed.

Počela sam pisati ovaj blog 2006., kako bih dokumentirala emigrantsko iskustvo Londona. I danas pišem osobne postove, ali mi je ispovjedna forma prestala biti zanimljiva (ako mi je ikad i bila zanimljiva). 'Privatno' mi sad prvenstveno služi kao stilsko sredstvo, da prošara i razlomi krutost (i okrutnost) iskaza koji teže poopćivosti. Pišem o onome što vidim kao problem, ponajmanje o studijima izvedbe (performance studies), koji su mi struka. Pišem još i o onome što mi je smiješno, kao, na primjer, ovo:

Photobucket

Kada bih se sažimala, najsretniji opis bio bi Petrom posredovan Tomijev 'Ona se loži na socijalnu dinamiku.'


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