Sretna nam Nova

petak , 31.10.2008.

Sretna na toj nekoj razini na kojoj bismo svi trebali biti sretni, živi smo, preživjeli još jednu godinu, manje-više smo zdravi, sposobni gurati dalje. Voljena sam, volim. Nisam gladna. Nisam na ulici. Ne granatiraju me kao ekipu u pojasu Gaze. Kvaliteta života mi se poboljšala jer odnedavna imam i auto a i mjesecima sam fino zarađivala.



Tužna jer sam postala bolno svjesna prolaznosti i smrtnosti. Ne nalazim načina da to prihvatim i to ide tako daleko da u sljedećoj godini ozbiljno razmišljam o tome da potražim stručnu pomoć kako bih posložila neke kockice u glavi. Otkako je Baka umrla početkom godine, užasno se bojim za sve drage i mile ljude, bojim se svakog jutra pogledati na mobitel i ako ugledam propušteni poziv iz Osijeka, smrznem se, mislim da se nekome nešto dogodilo. Tata je imao te neke fatalističke ispade od kojih mi se povraća, kao, on je sad sljedeći na redu, pa tko zna hoću li dočekati sljedeću godinu i tako to, a mene to boli strašno. Mama kaže da se tako osjećam zato što patim od Petar Pan sindroma, ne želim odrasti, suočiti se s nekim činjenicama. Vjerojatno je u pravu ali ja ne mogu bolje, barem ne sama.



Nezadovoljna jer nisam ostvarila baš ništa od nekih velikih osobnih postignuća, onako kako sam prije uskoro dvije godine prestala pušiti – i dalje sam debela, ne volim samu sebe, ne poštujem se jer nemam previše razloga za to, vrtim se u tom nekom začaranom krugu iz kojega nikako da se trgnem, po pitanju obrazovanja ništa nisam napravila, nisam čak ni upisala tečaj excela ili portugalskog što sam planirala početkom ove godine. Ispada da sam cijelu godinu provela u čekanju, planiranju i maštanju. Od nekoliko jako dobrih poslovnih prilika nisam napravila ništa, baš ništa, i ponovno sam tamo gdje sam bila i početkom godine, s tom razlikom da ću u 2009. vjerojatno teže doći do normalnog posla i zarade. Upustila sam se također u nešto posve eksperimentalno, ali o tome ne mogu još pisati – ako upali, a nadam se da hoće, bit će dobro, a ako ne upali, najebala sam. Zbilja.


Zahvalna sam prijateljima koji me vole i raduju mi se svaki dan, prihvaćaju me ovakvu kakva jesam. Ja njih neizmjerno volim i svaki dan Bogu zahvaljujem što me blagoslovio i okružio dobrim ljudima a loše maknuo dalje od mene. Za jednu od ovih dobrih, najboljih, sljedeća je godina prijelomna, a preko nje i za još nekoliko nas koji se svakoga dana radujemo njezinoj sreći i oporavku. A svima ostalim želim sve najbolje, zdravlje, zdravlje, zdravlje i veselje.


To želim i svima vama koji ovamo navraćate, barem onima od vas koje neću vidjeti.

Sebi želim također zdravlja, razboritosti i širom otvorene oči.

Sretna nam 2009.

Sretan mi rođendan!

subota , 18.10.2008.

Proljetno sunce
kiša il zima
uvijek nas na tim
stazama ima

Tu već i vrapci
poznaju naaas
pjevaju s nama
krava i pas.

Dobro jutro, preko polja
ili brijegom, kud' nas volja
srce pozna svaki kuuuut.

Dobro jutro, dobri maju
dobro jutro, rodni kraju,
tisuću i prvi put.




Eto, meni proljeće u glavi i u zrelu jesen. Da, jutros me probudila ova pjesma u jukebox glavi, što mogu, pjevam je cijeli dan, a čak je i Ba sa mnom pjevala nasred Tkalčićeve.




Aha, sretna mi nova godinaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Draga ja, sretan mi 33. rođendan! Želim samoj sebi sve najbolje na svijetu, puno zdravlja, veselja, ljubavi i što manje briga!




Nedavno sam dobila jedan fora čejn letr, mislim da se zove zahvalnost, u kojemu se ljudi na neortodoksan način zahvaljuju na ovome ili onome. Nažalost, godine čine svoje, ngh, ngh, pa sam zaboravila o čemu se točno radi ali sam zapamtila poantu: trebam biti zahvalna na svakom trenutku života, na svakoj sekundi u kojoj sam živa i zdrava i sposobna raditi se, veseliti, pa čak i ljutiti.




Trebam biti zahvalna i na prolivenim potocima suza (jučer sam se ponovno rasplakala kao dijete jer sam shvatila da mi po prvi puta u životu Baka neće čestitati rođendan), ali čak i te suze koje sam prolila za bakom znače da sam bila blagoslovljena s takvom bakom za kojom ću plakati čitavoga života.




Zahvalna sam i na svakoj svađi s roditeljima i bližnjima jer sam turbo sretnica koja ima roditelje, korijene, dom, nekoga tko je voli i želi i nekoga za koga se vrijedi žrtvovati i živjeti.




Zahvalna sam i na suzama od brige za jednu prijateljicu koja ovih dana ide „pod nož“, ne kozmetički ko u seriji nego na operaciju pravu, jer te suze znače da je toliko volim da me strah i pomisliti da ona može imati nekih problema ili bolesti.




Zahvalna sam i na svim svađama u kojima sam sudjelovala u proteklih godinu dana jer to znači da sam živa i zdrava (doduše i dovoljno glupa) da se trošim na gluposti. Ista stvar na poslu, zahvalna sam da su me neki toliko živcirali jer je to znak da imam posao, nisam na ulici, ne kopam po kontejnerima i ne prosim.




I tako kad mislim od proteklih godinu dana mogla bih nabrojati hrpu stvari koje su negativne i kojih bolje da nije bilo, ali jebga, dogodile su se, i sretna sam zbog svega jer sam zaista blagoslovljena sretnica koja je živa i zdrava, ima predivan život i nadam se da će tako i ostati.




Sretan rođendan i nova godina samoj sebi!

Glupača, novčanik i mace

srijeda , 15.10.2008.

Naslov ko da mi je Lorna pisala, ovo, ovo i ovo, hehe.

Jesam ja vama ikada pisala kako sam sretnica? Ne?! E, pa jesam, ja sam sretnica. U prošlih tjedan dana sahranila sam papigu, mačka i prijateljičinu mamu, pomalo sam već na rubu danima, nije bilo dana da nisam plakala. Kasnije sam se posvađala na pas mater, ljuta cijeeeli dan, na poslu sama sranja i sranja i sranja u tri krasne, jedva sam skupila snagu i dovukla se doma. Spremam neku večeru, kad odjednom tata zove. Razgovor je tekao ovako otprilike.

Tata: Di si ti?
Ja: Kod kuće, kuham nešto. Zašto si živčan?
Tata: Ni ne znaš gdje ti je novčanik, jel da?
Ja: Zašto? Ne znam, zašto?
Tata: A guska si ko i tvoja mater! Izgubila si novčanik!
Ja: Ma nisam ja nego Lucija.
Tata: Ne, ti si izgubila novčanik!
Ja: Ma Luuuuuuuucija. A kako znaš da ga je izgubila?
Tata: Ne znam što je Lu izgubila, vjeojatno mozak ko i ti, ali ti si izgubila i novčanik, sad me prepala neka žena iz dm-a?!

E tu ja vrtim film i shvatim da on zbilja priča o meni i mome novčaniku a ne o Lu, koja je posijala novčanik prošli tjedan, mada ja mislim da su joj ga ukrali iz neke tajne službe a sve zato što joj se sviđa Novica Petrač. Da, ništa ne pitajte.

Brzo sam se obukla i otišla do dm-a, gdje su gospođe bile još uvijek iako je prošlo 8 debelo. Naravno da su mi se smijale jer me znaju, budući da svaki dan tamo pazarim, uglavnom hranu za životinje, ali me naravno ne znaju po imenu, već su otvorile novčanik, uzele osobnu, koja još uvijek glasi na Osijek, zbog sentimentalnosti i manjih poreza, pa zvale 988, gdje su im dale tatin broj. E, taj razgovor je tekao ovako, složila sam si sliku po tatinim i po gospođinim pričama.

Tata: Molim!
DM: Dobra večer, zovem iz dm-a, trebala bih neki kontakt od vaše kćeri.
Tata: Molim, otkud zovete?
DM: IZ Zagreba.
Tata: Ne, prethodno ste rekli nešto drugo. Reklamirate nešto ili što trebate, dnevnik gledam, smetate.
DM: Ali gospodine, iz dm-a zovem tu iz Zagreba, vaša kći je novčanik izgubila.
Tata: Moja kći? Novčanik izgubila? Ne, žena je ostavila novčanik, ne kći. Otkud ste rekli da zovete?
DM: Iz dm-a. Aha, Tedica vam je supruga, a ne kći?
Tata: Ne, ona mi jest kći, ali novčanik je izgubila supruga! I dalje ne shvaćam otkud me zovete i što je dm. Novčanik je izgubljen i pronađen u Konzumu.
DM: Ovako, gospodine, oprostite što zovem u vrijeme dnevnika, ali ja bih trebala Tedicu Medicu, pronašla sam njezin novčanik u dm-u u Zagrebu. Dm vam je prodavaonica kozmetike.
Tata: A-ha. Zar je i ona izgubila novčanik?
DM: Da. Maloprije je bila tu, ostavila ga je u kolicima.
Tata: Gospođo draga, dajte vi meni recite što da radim s njima. Supruga je jučer ostavila novčanik u lokalnom Konzumu, tedica danas ovo, strašno.

I tako sam saznala da sam ne samo ja izgubila novčanik, nego i mama. Obje smo, I guess, imale više sreće nego pameti. Mamin je navodno bio prazan, ali u mome se netko (bilo tko jer sam ga ostavila u kolicima) mogao oho-ho okoristiti jer sam imala nekih 2.000kn u kešu, biznis karticu firme koja radi samo na potpis i 348 eura od jedne neisplaćene dnevnice.

Tek kasnije sam to shvatila i smrzla se. Bokte. Bokte!!!

Jutros zove tata i pita me: Ti mene zezaš il si jučer stvarno rekla da je Lu izgubila novčanik?! Pa vi niste normalne, nitko od vas. Ja u životu nisam izgubio novčanik!

Ja jesam. Ovo je bio treći put. Jednom mi je ispao na busnoj stanici gdje su me iskipali nakon tulumarenja u rano jutro. Našao ga je jedan deda koji je rano ujutro išao u pekaru. Drugi put su mi ga ukrali u Pragu u podzemnoj i sutra ujutro mi ga u hotel žena jedna vratila (našla je karticu za ručak u njemu). Ukrali mi samo 50 dm tadašnjih, menstrualni kalendar (!) i hrvatsku telefonsku karticu (!). I sada ovo.

Dragi Bože, hvala ti puno!

Još jedna sretna vijest tiče se moje dlakave dječice – Kjava i Fetty postali su ponosni roditelji tri mala mačeta, jeeeeee!

http://www.handwritingwizard.com

petak , 03.10.2008.

Welcome Tedica, here is your handwriting analysis.

Tedica uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.

The circumstances when Tedica does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.

Tedica will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.

Tedica is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Tedica doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

Tedica will demand respect and will expect others to treat her with honor and dignity. Tedica believes in her ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. She has a lot of pride.

Tedica is secretive. She has secrets which she does not wish to share with others. She intentionally conceals things about herself. She has a private side that she intends to keep that way, especially concerning certain events in her past.

Tedica can be defiant. She sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way she is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which she thinks are infringing upon her freedom of action.

Diplomacy is one of Tedica's best attributes. She has the ability to say what others want to hear. She can have tact with others. She has the ability to state things in such a way as to not offend someone else. Tedica can disagree without being disagreeable.

In reference to Tedica's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Tedica slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.

She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Tedica can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Tedica is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Tedica basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.

Tedica is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Tedica has a tendency to put things off, Tedica procrastinates. She sometimes pretends to be busy, so she will not have to do whatever she is putting off. She is often late to appointments or deadlines. This usually leads to a great amount of effort at the last minute to meet the deadline. Procrastination is an important factor as it relates to her output on the job or at school. Remember, Tedica will put it off until later. Procrastination is easily overcome through a simple stroke adjustment in the handwriting.

Something is incomplete in Tedica's life. She feels frustration relating to her physical needs and desires. Somewhere in her life there is some disappointment, non-fulfillment, and interruption. This is very likely to relate to Tedica's sexual needs.

Tedica has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Tedica's y or g is large and has triangle shape to the lower loop. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Tedica has regarding sex and physical things. Her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop has a triangle shape, this indicates a particular curiosity with certain aspects of sexuality. In a nutshell, Tedica is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once. I'd say Tedica is quite a dynamic and playful lover. Watch out world!

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Tedica has left lots of white space on the all four borders of the paper. Tedica fills up just the center area of the page. If this is true, then Tedica has a particular shyness toward people and a fear of moving too fast in any direction. In some cultures, respecting people, rules, and adhering to protocol are ways of life.

The right side of the page represents the future and the left side represents the past. Tedica seems a bit stuck in the middle, afraid to take action.

Tedica seems to have a fear of looking bad or of crossing boundries. It will be easy to work with Tedica on a team, because Tedica will usually follow the rules. However, this desire to respect the boundries can often be construed as a lack of confidence and people will walk over Tedica if she is not careful.

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