Imagine trying to explain what men had been like. Imagine trying to explain that there had been a time when one could be murdered in the streets of the cities, imagine trying to explain what rape meant to the male of the species...imagine.

- But this is madness; I whispered.
- Hasn’t that happened a million times? People split.

His face changed just a little. It seemed there was a bit sadness in him that made his eyes glow deeper in their brightness. His lips quivered as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t. Then I told him:

- Johnny, if all the world was destroyed, I would not destroy you. You are the essence of masculinity and there is a gorgeous quality to such purity.
- You prove my point. Would you tamper with stars themselves?
- It’s the false blaze. I don’t want it.

In the dwindling light in that particular moment when dreams come I could see myself traveling through the air. Traveling down, traveling up… I woke up with a start.

Johnny Hardy was the best friend of mine. Later I was told there was a hell of a fight. I don't care what he's done, and who's hand pulled up the gun. Doesn’t even matter even if he spends his life between the walls. I won't be sorry. I won’t care for the summer, spring but falls. Even if he never sees blue sky again I won’t be sorry. I told him once:
- Johnny, don’t you worry, we’ll meet one day for sure.

Trance burns the club. In the shadow of the neon light I'm trying to convince D.J. to play me the old song for remembering Johnny.

- Hey, D.J., my boyfriend has left me! C'mon promise me to play the love song to help me. Just for tonight break the rules... and please sip one for me and one for Johnny.

- Fuck off miss faggy American pie! I ain’t gonna play that shit.

My jeans are too tight and my shirt is too bright for the trance but I am somehow in a trance. I am grooving and riding a wild horse. It may be any dick. I am going to start laughing again. I am happy. Johnny could be in this groove. Or he could be someone living overseas waiting just for me. Maybe he’s the guy just across the street but we never meet.

Maybe he is the star from the movie screen whom I seen in a love sceen. Maybe he’s just the boy from the second floor who always slams the door. I don’t even care, Johnny will find the way. Johnny will come and stay hard. I m not scared to go with the time, 'cause time is on our side. Maybe he’ll ring my bell with some goods to sell? Maybe he'll come one day and say:

- I lost my way.

06.01.2009. u 03:40 sati
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