nedjelja, 28.10.2007.

Nisam tužna...niti u bedu...nego samo se prisjećam lijepih starih vremena...trebala mi je neka moja slika i kad sam ju išla tražiti...be...tamo sam vidila i slike mojeg bivšeg...naše zajedničke slike....
To je bio moj 17 rođendan...bio je kod mene i moja stara nas je slikala...
Taj dan bio je prelijep...donio mi je ako se ne varam 9 peluša..prelijepih....a znao je da ih obožavam...: )
Na svakoj slici zagrljeni...on me onako drži oko struka...uau...
Da mi je samo još malo osjetiti njegov dodir....bio je tako nježan....
Sjećam se toga kao da je bilo jučer...
Bio je prelijep i sunčan dan...ipak je bio 5.mjesec...: )
I došao je kod mene sa dvije ogromne vrečice...
Svaki taj pupoloto je bio zamotan u posebi šareni papir tako da sam to morala odmotavati 15min kako nebi razbila papir....joj kako mi je taj dan bio lijepo...najljepši rođendan...e da....
Ali nisam u bedu...

Drago mi je da je on sretan da je našao curu koja mu paše,jer zasluži biti sretan...još malo pa će biti godina dana da smo prekinuli...još mi ne ide u glavu da je tako puno prošlo...baš jako puno...
U toj godini dana svašta sam prošla i svašta radila....svakakve gluposti...i sad kad se toga sjetim čak me nekih stvari i sram....
U toj godini sam baš pretjerala i to previše...ali samoj sebi sam rekla da druga godina će bit bolja....mora bit...sredit ću se i skulirat...početi ispočetka....sve...
Jer ako mi Bog da otići ću na faks i to daleko od kuće...i ne mislim baš da će mi faliti taj grad niti ljudi u tom gradu...
Baš mi treba da se maknem ća od tuda...opako...
Znam da do tamo i ma još jako puno ali barem do tad ću se srediti malo : ) bar ću pokušati....
A On...e On će biti jedna lijepa uspomena,mislim čak i najljepša u mom srčeku...koju ću uvijek nositi sa sobom....i kojeg ću uvijek na neki način voljeti.jer On mi je pokazao šta znači voljeti i kakav je to predivan osjećaj..bez obzira na sve...imali smo nešto predivno...ali sve šta je lijepo kratko traje...i meni je dovoljno čak i to malo vremena šta je bio moj...samo moj...
ali On ostaje prošlost....ostaje iza mene..i to zauvijek!
Plakat ću još za njim i biti tužna...ali ne više kao nekada...



Jednom sam se rodila, suze sam odmah lila, jer znala sam sa ću ga zavoljeti i da ga nikad neću moći preboljeti. Luda sam bila...Pa se u njega zaljubila, za njim ludila i sve svoje vene sam otvorila i sad sve žalim. I sada sama sebi dobru smrt želim! Jednom sam umrla i u životu samo njega voljela!

četvrtak, 18.10.2007.

Zbogom Toše

Današnji post neće biti uopće vezan za mene...
već za jednog anđela koji nas je napustio 16.10.2007 u 26.godini.Toše Proeski.
U zadnje vrijeme sam slušala njegove pjesme, i ima neke koje baš ti dirnu srce...
njegova smrt totalno me bacila u bed...ne znam zašto...ali bila sam tako u bedu kad sam saznala tu ružnu vijest da nisam htjela vjerovati....
I još kad se sjetim...26.godina...tek...
bio je na vrhuncu svi su ga voljeli,obožavali njegove pjesme...a sad toga više neće biti...gotovo je....
mama mi je rekla...tako je lijep glas imao kao anđeo,tako je lijepo pjevao da ga je Bog uzeo k sebi da pjeva njemu i da bude uz njega....
kad sam to čula...shvatila sam da život nije nikako fer...da je sudbina pokvarena i zločesta....zašto je tako mlad čovjek morao tako završiti,zašto sada,zašto?
svi su jako potreseni zbog toga...nitko nije mogao ostati ravnodušan...
bio je tako dobar...njegovoj je obitelji vjerujem jako teško jer je bio vezan jako za njih....zašto je onda Bog to dopustio?
nazvali su ga ANĐELOM a sad je to stvarno i postao....
ima jedna njegova pjesma - Igra bez granica.....
ali na žalost njegova granica je došla na kraj....


Igra bez granica

Da se bar mogu probuditi
U svijetu ljubavi
Bez starih rugoba i ovih nakaza
Što su me stalno pratile
Da te bar mogu poljubiti
Bez loših sjećanja na hladna proljeća
Bez slike stradanja
Što se baš na nas zalijepe

Jer moj je život igra bez granica
Umorna priča, trganje stranica
Na kojim ništa ne piše
Jer moj je život vječito padanje
Kad zbrojim poraze ništa ne ostane
Samo još vučem navike
Sve na tome ostane

Da te bar mogu probuditi
Kavu ti skuhati
U krevet donijeti
Pa te poljubiti
Al' toga nema i ne postoji
OOOOOO
Da se bar mogu zaljubiti
U malu seljanku
Na nekom proplanku
Gore u svemiru
Tako da dolje ne vidim

Jer moj je život igra bez granica
Umorna priča, trganje stranica
Na kojim ništa ne piše
Jer moj je život vječito padanje
Kad zbrojim poraze ništa ne ostane
Samo još vučem navike
Sve na tome ostane

ZBOGOM!!!!

nedjelja, 14.10.2007.

ejla...
ke dosadan taj život...totalno...
cijeli tijedan sam sva neka jadna...sve živo me bolilo...i onda se u petak ujutro dignem ko da me pregazio kamion,tramvaj i još preko svega prošao tenk...koma totalno....išla sam u školu i jedva sam izdržala...izgledala sam grozno...kako su mi svi rekli...super...
dođem doma išla sam spavati i nisam išla vani...cijeli dan sam spavala i cijelu noć...našopala sam se tableta tj.popila sam samo 3 andola i drugi dan sam se digla kao nova....
bila sam doma cijeli dan...i navečer odlučila otići đir vani...
ali možda bolje da sam ipak ostala kući...
uđem u kafić i kad ono vidim tipa koji mi se trenutno sviđa(onaj o kojem pišem već par postova unazad)....kao da me neko lupio nečim po glavi...
dobro...prođem pored njega kažem mu ciao...a on me pogleda blijedo....jupiii...još jedan udrac ravno u čelo....igram pikado da ga ne gledam jer je sjedio baš iza mene...i dobro odem ja za stol...i evo njega silazi sa stepenica gledam ga ravno u one njegove predivne oke i one gleda mene i ništa...
ukomirala sam se...totalno sam se zgubila...i nisam mu ništa rekla...ali niti on....prođe kao da me nikad niije vidio...treći udarac...
tu mi je već propala večer....odemo mi do monvia i sad tamo dođu neka 2 koji su bili s njim..i kao nas zovu da odemo do njih tamo...a ja naravno pitala sam ko je sve tamo...i počnu oni meni nabrojavati ljude...i paf...kažu njegovo ime...i naravno ja odmah odustala...nisam htjela ga gledati...ali ipak smo išle..ufa....dođemo mi tamo do njih...kao ono oni se svi kupe ća...idu u pulu...super...ono od goreg na gore...uau....
prođe on sa autom a u njemu on vozi,do njeg tip a odizad 3 ženske...ono 4.udraca...taj put ko ma me neko odalamio bejzbolskom palicom....i stanu oni do nas i nešto pričaju a ovaj me ne šljivi živu silu...ništa...i da ga on po gasu i brrrrum odu ća....5.udarac....katastrofa....
dođem doma i plačem...onako za promjenu....
joj...toliko sam se iznervirala da...ono....
moj tipičan izlazak van...usere se uvijek....
e ti dečki...a ma....ne kuže ništa...obične svinje

nedjelja, 07.10.2007.

Kad će biti bolje....

jučer,tj. sinoć sam shvatila koliko mi je život u k...u...i to opako...baš nema smisla,jadan je i ide mi više na živce...
tako sam sinoć pala u bed....tako sam opet plakala sinoć da mi je zlo od svega toga više...
zašto ja uvijek moram biti uz nekog kad treba,zašto ću uvijek biti rame za plakanje.zašto se uvijek brinem za druge,zašto sve to radim...a mene uvijek svi odbace ko zadnju upotrebljenu krpu...
nikad niko nije uz mene kad mi treba,nikad niko me ne pita kako mi je.dali je sve ok....



a tako bi htjela,tako bi mi bilo potrebno,bilo bi mi dosta jedna lijepa riječ da mi netko kaže,da vidim da je nekomu stalo do mene pa bar malo...da ipak vrijedim nešto,a ne da sam ok samo kag drugima treba...
uvijek sam u nekom trećem planu...nikad nikomu nisam ništa značila,uvijek su me svi samo iskorištavali,bila sam svima dobra kad im je trebalo...a inače....ko me jebe....
očito svi misle kako mi je super...e pa nije...vidi se to...a zašto niko nije uz mene kad mi je teško...šta tražim puno...htjela bi prijatelja nekog...nekog s kim mogu pričati....na koga mogu računati...
ali očito tražim previše...samo mrvicu pozornosti...ali to mi niko ne može pružati.


zašto sam nekad prije godinu dana...imala sve...ali baš sve...
prijateljice koje su bile uz mene i dečka koji me volio...
zašto se to odjednom sve promjenilo...prebrzo je sve to nestalo....
dečko koji me se trenutno sviđa...nije se javio od srijede...i bolje da se više ne javi...jer nema smisla... i zašto moj bivši kojeg volim i dalje je sa curom...i zašto sam sve to morala viditi u jednu večer....zašto uvijek na pogrešnog naletim...koji me totalno zajebe i povrijedi...a očito niti sa prijateljima nemam sreće...
shvatila sam ...nikome nije stalo do mene...niti jednoj osobi koja meni znači puno,ja njima ne značim ništa...ali baš ništa...
boli...jako boli...izgubila sam sve..i niko mi nije ostao...niko...
možda previše dramatiziram...ali tako je...
ljudi su mi to sami rekli...kako mi je život jadan...



The darkness is calling my name
I want to play this fucking game
People think that I'm insane
I don't care because I have no brain
I'm out of my mind
I'm out of my body
I'm a little girl without soul
My tears keep falling down
But all the pain is still inside
I'm just nobody and nothing on this world...

četvrtak, 04.10.2007.

Hladno joj je, trese se....trese se jer pored nje nema nikoga.
Sama leži u krevetu.Odjednom hladnoća joj donosi sjećanja vezana za Njega.
Za čas joj oko srca postane toplo,a taj osjećaj traje kratko.Prekratko za nju i njezinu dušu.
Sjeti se one osobe koja je u tim hladnim danima ležala uz nju i čvrsto ju držala u zagrljaju,sjeti se glasa koji joj je šaputao na uho riječi koje su je oživljavale,sjeti se onih očiju,onog dubokog pogleda,sjeća se kako joj je prolazio po kosi svojim prstima,njegov miris....
Ta toplina ju je držala kratko dok nije postala svjesna da iza nje u krevetu nitko ne leži,da je sama u toj velikoj sobi,da ju guta tama.
Tad suze poteknu,onu toplinu zamjeni bol.
Zaledi se i utone u vječni san,gdje više nikad neće osjećati ništa osim hladnoću,bol i tugu...



EVANESCENCE - SOLITUDE

How many times have you told me you love her
As many times as I've wanted to tell you the truth
How long have I stood here beside you
I live through you
You looked through me

Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you

How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

Everyone leaves me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
I can't stay here another night

Your secret admirer
Who could it be

Ooh, Can't you see
All along it was me
How can you be so blind
As to see right through me

And Ooh, Solitude,
Still with me is only you
Ooh, Solitude,
I can't stay away from you

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains



Blog.hr
Forum.hr
Monitor.hr
Sweet dark
Vidra
Nightwish Girl : )
Eternal Angel
River Of Blood
Gljiva : )
Mjesecevo Dijete
Devil
Infernal Majesty
Oprostite sto sam s vama
Snow White
My dreams will come true
Martina
Hana




Non basta piů il ricordo
Ora voglio il tuo ritorno...



WHY DOES LONELINESS INSIST ON BEING MY FRIEND,
WHEN I`VE SENT HIM AWAY AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!



Why does a rose represent love....
When a rose always dies???



Perché piccolo potresti andartene dalle mie mani
Ed i giorni da prima lontani saranno anni!!



I miss you when I`m sad.
I miss you when I`m lonely.
But most off all,
I miss you when I`m happy!!!



E riconobbi il tuo sguardo in quello di un passante
Ma pure avendoti qui ti sentirei distante



There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

*već 18 godina gubim se po ovom svijetu
*vrlo pesimistična
*jako zatvorena osoba
*često u bedu...
*volim slušati druge i pokušati im pomoći
*volim,tj.obožavam EVANESCENCE
*volim ludu vožnju : )

Jedno te molim,molim ko Boga,
Da iz života izađeš moga...
Ne mogu više živjeti ovako,
Bez tebe moram ali neznam kako...
Jedno te molim i ništa više,
Kada ju ljubiš,ljubi ju tiše.
Jer ko da čujem sa kraja grada...
Poljubce vaše upravo sada!







>TRENUTAK JE DOVOLJAN DA SE UPOZNA,
TRENUTAK JE DOVOLJAN DA SE ZAVOLI,
ALI SAMO TRENUTAK MOŽE RAZORITI,
ONO ŠTA JE TRENUTAK USPIO STVORITI!



LJUBAV JE KAO RAT...
POČINJEŠ KAD HOĆEŠ,
A ZAVRŠIŠ KAD MORAŠ...


Postoje noći kad suze same teku...
Kad čovjek umire od boli...
Kad nema snage da moli,
A osjeća samo jedno; DA NEKOG VOLI







Jesenjske kiše zalediše snove, snove u kojima moje ime zoveš...spomenari stari, izblijedjele slike...sijećanja na ljubav koje nema...nema je više...



SNOVI POSTAJU NEOSTVARIVI SAMO ZBOG JEDNE STVARI:
STRAHA OD NEUSPJEHA!



KADA IZGUBIŠ ONO ŠTA NAJVIŠE VOLIŠ ONDA I DALJE NASTAVLJAŠ ŽIVJETI MAKAR JE ŽIVOT GORI OD SMRTI!



Jednom sam se rodila, suze sam odmah lila, jer znala sam sa ću ga zavoljeti i da ga nikad neću moći preboljeti. Luda sam bila...Pa se u njega zaljubila, za njim ludila i sve svoje vene sam otvorila i sad sve žalim. I sada sama sebi dobru smrt želim! Jednom sam umrla i u životu samo njega voljela!





One day you`ll cry for me like I cried for you,one day you`ll miss me like I missed you.one day you`ll pain for me like I pained for you.One day you`ll love me but I won`t love you!

Sweetie last night I wanted to write you a letter,but all I could write was:noh ss!w! it didn`t make a sence until I read it upside down...





EVANESCENCE - BREATHE NO MORE

I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling shattered
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and i try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder:
Which of us do you love?
so I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe,
I breathe



EVANESCENCE - MY IMMORTAL

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alon all along













EVANESCENCE - THE LAST SONG I`M WASTING ON YOU

Sparkling grey,
Through my own veins.
Any more than a whisper,
Any sudden movement of my heart.
And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away

Just get through this day

Give up your way, you could be anything,
Give up my way, and lose myself, not today
That's too much guilt to pay

Sickened in the sun
You dare tell me you love me
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way

You're just so pretty in your pain

Give up my way, and I could be anything
I'll make my own way
Without your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.

So run, run, run
And hate me, if it feels good.
I can't hear your screams anymore

You lied to me
But I'm older now
And I'm not buying baby

Demanding my response
Don't bother breaking the door down
I found my way out
And you'll never hurt me again...





EVANESCENCE - ANGEL OF MINE

You are everything I need to see
Smile and sunlight makes sunlight to me
Laugh and come and look into me
Drips of moonlight washing over me
Can I show you what want from me

Angel of mine, can I thank you
You have saved me time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don't know where I'd be without you

After all these years, one thing is true
Constant force within my heart is you
You touch me, I feel I'm moving into you
I treasure every day I spend with you
All the things I am come down to you

Angel of mine
Let me thank you
You have saved me time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don't know where I'd be without you

Back in the arms of my angel
Back to the peace that I so love
Back in the arms of my angel I can finally rest
Giving you a gift that you remind me

Angel of mine
Let me thank you
You have saved me time and time and time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don't know where I'd be without you

Angel of mine
Can I thank you
You have saved me time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don`t know where I`d be without you





EVANESCENCE - THOUGHTLESS


All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

Going through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming

Come and fill the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

All my friends are gone,
they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world (x4)
(Gonna take you down)

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
and Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming


EVANESCENCE - YOU


The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight

When we’re together I feel perfect
When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart
All that you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can’t look away as we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me, Amy, marry me, promise you’ll stay with me
Oh you don’t have to ask me, you know you’re all that I live for
You know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I’ll show you that you are my night sky
I’ve always been right behind you
Now I’ll always be right beside you

So many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there’d be you




JEBEŠ ŽIVOT KAD ČOJEK ČOVJEKA NE MOŽE DA SHVATI.
JEBEŠ ŽIVOT KAD LJUBAV VENE,
KAD ŽIVIŠ OD SAMO JEDNE PROKLETE USPOMENE!




EVANESCENCE - MISSING

(Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her
You can't stop the fire
You won't say the words)

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?"
"Isn't someone missing me?"

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone...

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
"Isn't something missing?
Isn`t someone missing me?


WITHIN TEMPTATION - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

What have you done now?

I know I better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now
I know I should stop beleiving
I know that there's no retreating
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
(what have you done now?)
Why? Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done?

Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tryed to cause you have
Turned into my worst enemy?
You carry hate that I feel
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
(what have you done now?)
Why? why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done?

I've been fool
Won't let it go
We will be free when it ends

I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
(what have you done now?)
Why? why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you


WITHIN TEMPTATION - SAY MY NAME

Say my name
So I will know you're back you're here again
For a while
Oh let us share
The memories that only we can share
Together

Tell me about
The days before I was born
How we were as children

[Refrain:]
You touch my hand
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again

We breath the air
Do you remember how you used to touch my hair?
You're not aware
Your hands keep still
You just don't know that I am here

It hurts too much
I pray now that soon you're released
To where you belong

[Refrain:]
You touch my hand
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again

Please say my name
Remember who I am
You will find me in the world of yesterday
You drift away again
Too far from where I am
When you ask me who I am

Say my name
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again

Say my name