petak, 22.06.2007.

I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling shattered
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.






Take a breath and i try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder:
Which of us do you love?
so I bleed,




I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe,
I breathe...no...more.
(BREATHE NO MORE - EVANESCENCE)

Osjećam se grozno....: (

22.06.2007. u 11:46 • 22 KomentaraPrint#

nedjelja, 17.06.2007.


toplo je za umrijeti...
ništa mi se neda...
nemam volje za ništa...i u bedu sam...da..opet!
u petak sam se razbila od alkohola...ali doslovno...nisam znala za sebe...to je jako ružno..ali desilo se...i naravno drugi dan mi je bilo slabo za umrijeti...ali prošlo me...
cijeli sam dan bila u bedu..samo su mi se u glavi vrtile slike...i neki glupi osjećaj..kad da je ipak On još tu...s menom...kao da će svakog trena doći i poljubiti me...i kao da je sve to bio neki ružan san...ali...na žalost...taj san i dalje traje..i jako je ružan...On se vratit neće...nekako mi je sve teže i teže...mislila sam kako sam počela ići dalje...kako mi je počelo biti nekako lakše...ali ipak nije...jer dosta mi je da Ga vidim i to još sa njom...kako se vraćaju sa kupanja..i onda mi sve lađe potonu skupa sa cijelom posadom...i onda ja potonem...potonem u jezero suza...koje nikako da stanu..
danas sam se digla...i išla sam spremati sobu...i onda sam došla do one kutijice koju zaobilazim u širokom luku...u toj kutijici koja je zatvorena lokotićem..nalaze se Njegove stvari koje mi je dao i do kojih mi je jako stalo...nisam ju otvarala jako dugo...i danas kad sam ju ugledala imala sam neku potrebu otvoriti ju...i otvorim ju ja...i ugledam sve šta se nalazi unutra...i prvo zapazim našu sliku...di smo zagrljeni i di smo sretni...skupa...uzmem sliku u ruke i počnem plakati...suze su same došle...gledala sam tu sliku možda jedno 10 minuta..nepomično...samo su suze tekle...nisam mogla nastaviti gledati druge stvari...i samo sam vratila sliku unutra i zaključala tu kutiju...i vratila ju na mjesto...
i sad..opet se sve vratilo...svaka uspomena...svaki trenutak..tu su...u mojoj glavi i ne idu ća...ne mogu ih više potisnuti...imam osjećaj da ću poluditi.da ću puknuti od bola...da ću umrijeti...VOLIM GA!
još malo i bit će 7 mjeseci...7 dugih mjeseci od kad nije moj...od kad Ga ne mogu nazvati i reći da Ga volim...od kad Ga ne mogu zagrliti...nasmijati se....sve mi se srušilo...a On..On uopće ne mari..Njemu je svejedno...briga Ga..ipak ima curu koju voli...a mene ko jebe...ja sam prošlost...zaboravljena ljubav...
ali ipak ne mogu dalje..iako sam svjesna svega toga...ne mogu...boli...jako boli...
idem sama sebi više na živce...a šta je tek sa drugima onda... : (
ufa...kad ću sve to zaboraviti...kad????????



All I know is,I`m lost withou you,I`m not gonna lie,how am I gonna be strong without you.I need you by my side,I keep trying to find my way,but all I know is...I`m lost without you,I keep trying to face the day...I`m lost withou you...

17.06.2007. u 14:35 • 10 KomentaraPrint#

četvrtak, 07.06.2007.

Ljubomora koja me ubija...

Hodam...okolo mene ljudi...guraju se..nema mjesta...nema zraka...samo ljudi,koji se pokušavaju povući,izvući...
Pogledam ispred sebe i ugledam Nju...Onu koja mi je ukrala sreću,zbog koje su mi se svi snovi srušili,zbog koje mi je nada umrla.Onu koja je sada na mom mjestu,koja spava u Njegovom zagrljaju,koja mu krade poljubce,koju voli,obožava, s kojom je sretan,zbog koje mene više ne voli,zbog koje je mene zaboravio.
Ona hoda, onako podignute glave, sa osmjehom na licu, sa onim osmjehom kojeg ne skida i svima pokazuje kako je sretna. A ja, ja sam tako ljubomorna na Nju, tako bi htjela da sam na Njezinom mjestu. Divim joj se....Kad ju vidim onako lijepu, onako sretnu, najrađe bi htjela propasti duboko,duboko da nestanem...da ne moram više gledati svu tu Njihovu sreću,koja me ubija...
I tako hodamo jedno vrijeme, dok nismo došli do izlaza a Ona i dalje stoji ispred mene. Na izlazu Ona krene na desno, a ja kao da mi je nešto reklo,kao neki osjećaj koji me natjerao da pogledam na lijevo, i tad ugledam Njega,kako stoji i kako Ju gleda, također sa onim osmjehom zadovoljstva,punim ljubavi. Zastanem i gledam Ga, odjednom pogled usmjeri na mene i onaj osmjeh nestane i pogleda me tužno,kao da mu je žao...neki pogled pun boli. Srce mi se slomilo, mislila sam da će puknuti.
Onda ponovno pogled vrati na Nju i osmjeh se ponovno vrati. Tad Ga i Ona zapazi i krene prema Njemu. A ja sam ostala stajati, skamenjena. Dođe do Njega, zagrli Ga i poljubi. Gledam ih i nešto me stegne oko srca.Kao da je zastalo na trenutak. Pogledam ih još jednom, kako su samo sretni a tek kako se vole...I okrenem se, sa suzama u očima polako se spustim niz ulicu, dok su Oni i dalje bili zagrljeni...




Lijep i sunčan dan...dolazi iz škole i ulazi u kuću sa osmjehom na licu.Pozdravlja sve a u očima joj sjaj sreće i veselja.Okreće se i odlazi u sobu,zalupi vratima.Sav onaj sjaj nestaje u trenu,a zamjeni ju tuga...oči joj se pune suza,pogleda se u ogledalo i vidi ružno pače koje zuri u nju...a zapravo to je ona slika koju si je ona zamislila u svojoj glavi...Sklupča se u kut i prozirne kapljice počinju klizati,ostane tako stojati jedno vrijeme...dok ne začuje povik izvana...digne se...pogleda se ponovno i ono ružno pače i dalje ju gleda onim tužim očima...ravno u dušu...obriše suze i izađe iz mračne sobe...ugleda kako su sunčeve zrake prodrle u kuću...na licu ponovno se pojavi onaj osmijeh i onaj sjaj u očim...ponovno se pojavi maska!!!!


07.06.2007. u 21:35 • 14 KomentaraPrint#

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LJUBAV JE VJEČNO ZAČARAN VRT;U NJEMU SE RAĐAJU BOL,ČEŽNJA I SMRT!!!

Život nije ništa drugo nego putovanje u smrt!

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase




These are eyes that have seen 2 much pain. Even though tears come and pain continues, inside they are dead.



VOLJET ĆU TE KAD SE I POSLJEDNJI VAL MOGA ŽIVOTA BUDE ULIJEVAO U JEZERO SMRTI!!!



Jos pomisljam na najgore,kad vidim da te nema,mozda je tako najbolje i na posljednje se spremam.Moja je ruka sigurna ti nemoj da ju krivis,ali u srce pucat necu jer ti u njemu zivis...


I held you tight to me
But you slipped away
You promised to return to me
And I believed, I believed



Can`t you see me bleeding?
I`m losing control...
Can`t you see me dying?
I`m dying alone...





TEŠKO JE GLEDATI BUDUĆNOST
OČIMA PUNIM PROŠLOSTI!




ALL I NEED FROM YOU,
IS A LETTER...EXPLAINING WHY
YOU HURT ME SO!




Sad we lived sad we die!!!!



LJUBAV JE SAMO SAN KOJI TRAJE DOK SE NE PROBUDIŠ!



AKO ODLUČIŠ DA VOLIŠ,
PRVO NAUČI DA HODAŠ PO SNIJEGU,A DA PRI TOME NE OSTAVLJAŠ TRAGOVE,
JER SAMO TAKO NEĆEŠ NIKOG POVRIJEDITI SVOJIM ODLASKOM!




SICK OF CRYING...
TIRED OF TRYING...
YEAH, IM SMILING...
BUT INSIDE...
IM DYING!





Zbog tebe cu lutati,varati,zbog tebe cu lagati,tudim se osjecajima igrati,lazno se smjeskati,lazna obecanja davati,zbog tebe cu staze sjecanja prekopati,rijeke i jezera isusiti i sva godisnja doba u santu leda pretvorit,zbog tebe cu zivot prokockati ali sta mi vrijedi sve to kad cu te i dalje voljeti!


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Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Every day
I crucify myself
Nothing I do is good enough for you
Crucify myself
Every day
And my heart is sick of being in chains




Blog.hr
Forum.hr
Monitor.hr
Sweet dark
Vidra
Nightwish Girl : )
Eternal Angel
River Of Blood
Gljiva : )

Mjesecevo Dijete

Devil
Infernal Majesty
Oprostite sto sam s vama
Snow White
My dreams will come true
Martina
Hana




Non basta piů il ricordo
Ora voglio il tuo ritorno...




WHY DOES LONELINESS INSIST ON BEING MY FRIEND,
WHEN I`VE SENT HIM AWAY AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!




Why does a rose represent love....
When a rose always dies???




Perché piccolo potresti andartene dalle mie mani
Ed i giorni da prima lontani saranno anni!!




I miss you when I`m sad.
I miss you when I`m lonely.
But most off all,
I miss you when I`m happy!!!




E riconobbi il tuo sguardo in quello di un passante
Ma pure avendoti qui ti sentirei distante




There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back


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*već 18 godina gubim se po ovom svijetu
*vrlo pesimistična
*jako zatvorena osoba
*često u bedu...
*volim slušati druge i pokušati im pomoći

*volim,tj.obožavam EVANESCENCE
*volim ludu vožnju : )


Jedno te molim,molim ko Boga,
Da iz života izađeš moga...
Ne mogu više živjeti ovako,
Bez tebe moram ali neznam kako...
Jedno te molim i ništa više,
Kada ju ljubiš,ljubi ju tiše.
Jer ko da čujem sa kraja grada...
Poljubce vaše upravo sada!








>TRENUTAK JE DOVOLJAN DA SE UPOZNA,
TRENUTAK JE DOVOLJAN DA SE ZAVOLI,
ALI SAMO TRENUTAK MOŽE RAZORITI,
ONO ŠTA JE TRENUTAK USPIO STVORITI!




LJUBAV JE KAO RAT...
POČINJEŠ KAD HOĆEŠ,
A ZAVRŠIŠ KAD
MORAŠ...



Postoje noći kad suze same teku...
Kad čovjek umire od boli...
Kad nema snage da moli,
A osjeća samo jedno; DA NEKOG VOLI








Jesenjske kiše zalediše snove, snove u kojima moje ime zoveš...spomenari stari, izblijedjele slike...sijećanja na ljubav koje nema...nema je više...



SNOVI POSTAJU NEOSTVARIVI SAMO ZBOG JEDNE STVARI:
STRAHA OD NEUSPJEHA!



KADA IZGUBIŠ ONO ŠTA NAJVIŠE VOLIŠ ONDA I DALJE NASTAVLJAŠ ŽIVJETI MAKAR JE ŽIVOT GORI OD SMRTI!




Jednom sam se rodila, suze sam odmah lila, jer znala sam sa ću ga zavoljeti i da ga nikad neću moći preboljeti. Luda sam bila...Pa se u njega zaljubila, za njim ludila i sve svoje vene sam otvorila i sad sve žalim. I sada sama sebi dobru smrt želim! Jednom sam umrla i u životu samo njega voljela!





One day you`ll cry for me like I cried for you,one day you`ll miss me like I missed you.one day you`ll pain for me like I pained for you.One day you`ll love me but I won`t love you!




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Sweetie last night I wanted to write you a letter,but all I could write was:noh ss!w! it didn`t make a sence until I read it upside down...





EVANESCENCE - BREATHE NO MORE


I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling shattered
Shards of me too sharp to put back together;
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch her
And I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and i try to draw from my spirit's well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder:
Which of us do you love?
so I bleed,
I bleed
And I breathe,
I breathe no-
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe
I breathe,
I breathe




EVANESCENCE - MY IMMORTAL

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all of my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
because your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

you used to captivate me
by your resonating light
but now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
and i've held your hand through all of these years
but you still have all of me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alon all along














EVANESCENCE - THE LAST SONG I`M WASTING ON YOU


Sparkling grey,
Through my own veins.
Any more than a whisper,
Any sudden movement of my heart.
And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away

Just get through this day

Give up your way, you could be anything,
Give up my way, and lose myself, not today
That's too much guilt to pay

Sickened in the sun
You dare tell me you love me
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die
Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way

You're just so pretty in your pain

Give up my way, and I could be anything
I'll make my own way
Without your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.

So run, run, run
And hate me, if it feels good.
I can't hear your screams anymore

You lied to me
But I'm older now
And I'm not buying baby

Demanding my response
Don't bother breaking the door down
I found my way out
And you'll never hurt me again
...






EVANESCENCE - ANGEL OF MINE

You are everything I need to see
Smile and sunlight makes sunlight to me
Laugh and come and look into me
Drips of moonlight washing over me
Can I show you what want from me

Angel of mine, can I thank you
You have saved me time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don't know where I'd be without you

After all these years, one thing is true
Constant force within my heart is you
You touch me, I feel I'm moving into you
I treasure every day I spend with you
All the things I am come down to you

Angel of mine
Let me thank you
You have saved me time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don't know where I'd be without you

Back in the arms of my angel
Back to the peace that I so love
Back in the arms of my angel I can finally rest
Giving you a gift that you remind me

Angel of mine
Let me thank you
You have saved me time and time and time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don't know where I'd be without you

Angel of mine
Can I thank you
You have saved me time and time again
Angel, I must confess
It's you that always gives me strength
And I don`t know where I`d be without you





EVANESCENCE - THOUGHTLESS



All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

Going through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming

Come and fill the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger And you're down, down, down

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming

All my friends are gone,
they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
Never gonna forget, never forget, how we hate the world (x4)
(Gonna take you down)

All of my hate cannot be bound
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
and Beat me to the ground I will see you screaming



EVANESCENCE - YOU



The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight

When we’re together I feel perfect
When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart
All that you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can’t look away as we lay in the stillness
You whisper to me, Amy, marry me, promise you’ll stay with me
Oh you don’t have to ask me, you know you’re all that I live for
You know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I’ll show you that you are my night sky
I’ve always been right behind you
Now I’ll always be right beside you

So many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there’d be you





JEBEŠ ŽIVOT KAD ČOJEK ČOVJEKA NE MOŽE DA SHVATI.
JEBEŠ ŽIVOT KAD LJUBAV VENE,
KAD ŽIVIŠ OD SAMO JEDNE PROKLETE USPOMENE!





EVANESCENCE - MISSING

(Can you stop the fire?
Can you stand to fight her
You can't stop the fire
You won't say the words)

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?"
"Isn't someone missing me?"

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone...

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
"Isn't something missing?
Isn`t someone missing me?



WITHIN TEMPTATION - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

What have you done now?

I know I better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now
I know I should stop beleiving
I know that there's no retreating
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
(what have you done now?)
Why? Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done?

Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tryed to cause you have
Turned into my worst enemy?
You carry hate that I feel
It's over now
What have you done?

What have you done now?

I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
(what have you done now?)
Why? why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you

What have you done?

I've been fool
Won't let it go
We will be free when it ends

I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
(what have you done now?)
Why? why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you


WITHIN TEMPTATION - SAY MY NAME

Say my name
So I will know you're back you're here again
For a while
Oh let us share
The memories that only we can share
Together

Tell me about
The days before I was born
How we were as children

[Refrain:]
You touch my hand
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again

We breath the air
Do you remember how you used to touch my hair?
You're not aware
Your hands keep still
You just don't know that I am here

It hurts too much
I pray now that soon you're released
To where you belong

[Refrain:]
You touch my hand
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again

Please say my name
Remember who I am
You will find me in the world of yesterday
You drift away again
Too far from where I am
When you ask me who I am

Say my name
These colors come alive
In your heart and in your mind
I cross the borders of time
Leaving today behind to be with you again

Say my name

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