Dear Mr. President,
Welcome to my introduction.
Firstly, please, forget about those made by the Netherlands (even their fucking neighbor nation- named after goddamn pastry!- makes fun of them. Hollandrians? Netherlandish?! Dutchlings?!? Fake.Totally.); Germans (Germs?! The name is worth a thousand words. Eine stinkende und kranke Nation. “Ich bin ein Berliner!”- my white, round, firm, beautiful and depilated ass! ); Danes (yeah, that’s the fucking pastry nation!), Italy (they drink coffee without any milk! And no white sugar, Mr. President! Plus they stand on their goddamn way too small feet while doing it! It’s disgusting!); Croatians (c’mon!!!! together with Austrians they call themselves Germans’ stable boys! That’s an alternative fact. Period.). Not funny. At all. Total disasters!
This one is about me. Myself. And I.
I know, to compare with those haters, liberals, LGBT lovers I have the real ones down there!
Not for grabbing, please.
I am an economic migrant, Mr. President. I really am. The bestest one!
My country has left me, not the other way around, but it’s okay now. I’m fine, I really am. I'm great. Period. True, it's a bit boring here in this godforsaken shiithole, and it's cold, but shwarma is just great. It's true! Quite an inspiration.
Mr. President,
do not worry! You can notice the difference between me and immigrants instantly.
The difference is "I". And “M”. True. I shit you not! They do. I do not, Mr. President. Because I love you. A lot.
I've been living and working in an Arab country. People here are all brown and black. Total losers. I am purely White. 100% White, Mr. President. And my wife, who is not a lesbian, and my both daughters too. One of them, the younger one, blue-eyed blonde has asked my blue-eyed blonde wife the other day:
”Mom, are we lesbians or vegetarians?”
I know. Amazing! She’s only 7. She knows shit. And she’s not a Muslim. She’s… well, a melting pot. But I love her. A lot. She’s great.
Mr. President,
I gotta tell you something, the people around here, they are all Arabs. And Muslims. You can’t tell the difference, but they both live in an Arab country called Oman. How sad is that? Very sad. And confusing. But if you want to bomb them, never mind. Kill them all, Mr. President! Just nuke them! Go east from Texas and south from Russia and you'll find them.
Your great, GREAT country has wasted trillions on A & H-bombs. The time has come to use it, Mr. President, and get the money back!
But: Ooooo-man, Mr. President! Say it!
Yes, I know. You like it! Very amazing.
Oooo-maaaaaan!
You don’t hear that from Melania lately, do you? But it’s not sad. Not at all.
It's her fault. Not yours, Mr. President! Because I know you are THE BEST!
You are a very healthy man; you are the Alpha Male, Mr. President! CNN – a plain lie. Fake news. Hilary is the one who is very, very sick. It’s true.
And you have big hands. With the big, BIG fingers! Mr. President, the almighty God gave you the best fingers in the whole world!
And as long as you have those everything else can be tiny, and it’s going to be just fine. Trust me, size doesn’t matter.
It does!
But it doesn’t. Period.
I came here, Mr. President, because they wanted me here.
They need me here!
Because I build staff. All kind of stuff. The BEST stuff in the world! Nobody builds stuff better than me. That's true! I am the BEST economic migrant-builder ever! Gotta love me!
I built airports too. And hospitals. And roads and small and big buildings. With lots and lots of walls. Big walls.
And they want me on these walls!
They need me on these walls!!
They are mainly white walls. Some of them are painted yellow, blue or even orange. Like yourself. I know. It's amazing!
This is because of these architects… They like colours, because they are gays, Mr. President! I am sure of that! But they love you. Some of them are Muslims, maybe even Arabs, and I know they both love you. They do. A lot. And they all have small, gentle hands…
You gotta love Oman too! They cannot be on the "Ban List"! Like the others. The others suck. Total disaster!
For example, Iraq & Iran.
I know it was a typo, Mr. President, and you've put them both in the list. Just in case. No harms done. They've deserved it, Mr. President!
Remember Teheran 1979!
And all that weapon of mass destruction that is just about to be found in Iraq. Iran. I mean, Iraq.
Even though one of them is not even an Arab country. But they are all Muslims, that’s for sure, Mr. President!
And now – hers is a news flash for you! The real one! They all, Iraq, Iran and Iraq, are not tax oases, Mr. President! But they are "Axis of Evil".
Oman is not any axis. Oman is a tax oasis, okay? It's unbelievable! Can you believe it?
I know. It's amazing.
You don't pay tax here - CNN and BBC, total losers, won't be spreading fake news anymore! I know. You'll love it, because it's great!
You gotta come over here, Mr. President. Grab it, grab the chance by her pussy! Now, Mr. President!
I know, Mr. President, it needs to be "America First". But can I say: me second? And Oman third?
Thank you, Mr. President, and God bless you!
Post je objavljen 29.05.2018. u 11:09 sati.