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To love someone and hate him at the same time, to love transparent blue eyes in which the light breaks and to curse them simultaneously. To yearn for a touche, smooth porcelain skin and to feel a terrible repulsion towards his whole appearance.

What is he to me? Pure strength, God, my captor, the subject of my longing, the devil himself? Vengeful, spoiled, little boy, a person that rips the wings of a butterfly, just to see what will happen, and when he is not satisfied with the result of the experiment, he squashes that little being with his shoes and moves on, because in the end, what is the value of something boring? I would say nothing.

-Look at me!!- He says loudly, holding me by my neck pressed to the wall. With a wolfs look he observes me, furiously. While I keep my eyelids firmly shut, I spite him with every fiber of my being. Fear is vibrating in me, but the yelling is something I don't react to for a long time now. I'm a child of a family in which there was yelling and threatening at least 12 hours a day, and what does that mean to me now? Empty words into the wind.

-From where do you get the right to ignore me? Do u know I can kill u with just one thought, your neck is in my hand, are you really that brave?-with a softer voice he gives me his lecture. He was reading my thoughts and I enjoyed it, because he would see all the things I would never dare to say, and it was easier too. A smile flies over my lips, with a river of unspoken words. Almost half of my life I wished I was dead, that I was never born. I visualize the ways I could end it all, and he threatens me, is he insane? I never had the courage, and he is offering willingly? I smile once again.

He loosens his grip, looks at me with something close to disappointment: - You are hopeless...- He lifts me up in his arms, and carries me to the bed. I loved him so much in that moment, because he was simply irresistible. He spent time with me, a simple mortal, night after night he would talk and argue with me and me; well, I have known to be a real uncontrollable monster.

-Why do you always provoke me?
-Because u are simply adorable when u are furious, I wish...- I lift my self fast and press a kiss on to his lips. A simple little kiss, but it's a kiss of a warm mortal on the cold lips of a hungry vampire. I've always teased him, because what I really wanted was for him to bite me, to feel what his victims feel. Thatís the most intimate relationship, the one between a predator and a prey, that a vampire can experience.

-I don't want to bite you... I love you the way you are, whole, mortal. Fragile, I always have to be careful so that you don't break in my hands. I don't know what I would do if I lost you, if I hurt you...-

I was touched by his words; because I know they are honest, and only a few things are honest that come from those lips. But the evil that I am, I don't like to show my emotions to the whole world, it's hard to keep a stone face to a mortal creature.
I jump on him and lie down on his chest, one firm hug... I lean on my chin and look into his eyes, ah he's so beautiful... I lift up my hand and touche the veins on his face, he is hungry, I can tell... I didn't give him time to feed tonight, I practically dragged him out of bed, I wanted to see his true nature. I cross my fingers over his lips, nose, close his eyes slowly, I press one more kiss to his face...his heart is beating so fast, he is resisting my blood, his hunger...who knows how much longer he can endure... I lean my index finger on to his lower lip, sliding slowly over it, than I open his mouth just a bit, and fast, before he turned his attention from my heartbeat, my warmth, I cut it on his fang. One drop, just one, touches his tongue... I leaned, in a split of a second before he opened his eyes, so that the first thing he saw, was the blue pulsing line on my neck... his head was screaming BLOOD, empty veins KILL and so... He bit me strongly, sharp pain cut through my body... He slowed down, hugged me easily and leaned me towards his feet...I saw hot sex, speeding sweaty bodies, hands that are squeezing the soft flesh of their lovers in flashes... desire was running through me, the most beautiful creature was holding his arms around me, I could have died right at that moment, and I wouldn't have mined it a bit, because can u imagine a death more beautiful than that? Next to the person you love...

A loud NO buzzes through the room, he rips him self from my neck, my dream evaporates... the blood was flowing down his chin, coloring his white teeth, he had a part of me inside him, and I wanted him all the more...suddenly my head dropped down, my eyes closed, and through the mist I heard: - What have u done my little one...-

I laughed in my head, because I don't know what my lips did in that moment, I laughed thinking, I beat you, a fragile creature like me is stronger than an old vampire, I beat you...

Post je objavljen 17.12.2008. u 19:15 sati.