More cities should be overrun by monkeys. Monkeys would give us back the edge we've lost since becoming sedentary. Oh, is that pie you just baked too hot? Gonna put it on the window to cool? Monkeys got you pie, asshole. No pie for you. Dropped your medicine? Got back problems? Too slow gramps, monkeys stole your heart pills. Next time you should think about what you hate more, back spasms or angina. Passed out from drinking, lying on a park bench? Monkeys gonna rape your hobo ass. Monkeys, humanity's debugger.
My router keeps resetting itself. Ostensibly, this is because of a hardware glitch. In reality, it is because it keeps downloading router porn, and it needs a new ip every so often. My router dreams of getting a firmware upgrade that would enhance its 8-bit WEP to 64-bit WPA2. My router finds his relationship with my motherboard integrated LAN adapter to be unfulfulling, and dreams of connecting with a PCI bus LAN adapter.
Woo, counterculture! *random dancing emoticon gif. possibly the banana.*