Jealousy is always an actual theme and that's why I decided to write about it. Actually, I could find better things to do but yesterday my back got stiffed and after that I went to do some hard core hiking because I promised my friend I will do so. In the evening I went to visit a woman who usually „unstiffes“ that back situation of mine. She did a pretty good job but today I cannot move because hard core hiking made my muscles hurt (which is good, because that means I still have some muscles) so today I was taking it easy and writing this post.
Where were we? Jealousy... I was thinking about the essence of it lately and this is what I came up with: Jealousy is not necessarily connected with love, but it's a strong feeling which often works against us. There is a difference between jelousy and envy. Envy would be jealousy of material things, right?
We all, more or less, get jealous sometimes. If we did not experience that feeling, we would not be alive. Is jealousy connected with lack of tolerance? Can we control it or should we just be ourselves (jealous or not)? If we're tolerant, does that mean that we never get jealous? Is being tolerant a virtue or is it sometimes considered as stupidity? Can we take advantage of tolerant people or can we just appreciate them?
About envy:I do not remember that I was ever envious of someone's material things. As a kid I was probably envious of some other kid's toys but since then I do not remember that feeling. Maybe I would be envious of someone else's things if I lacked in something, luckily I do not.
Here is one stupid example, but the situation I will never forget: once I was studying like crazy for an exam for a quite long time (it was not just once). I was really stressing about it. There was a guy at the exam with me who barely knew professor's name. He did not have a clue about anything but he could not stop talking, I almost threw up how lame he was. Later I really admired him: not many people can talk about absolutely nothing for 40 minutes. That's what politics is all about! So, the guy barely passed the exam, but he did. It was a reward for his bravery and redundant communication skills. At that moment, I was envious of those skills although I would not switch places with him!
About jealousy:I am getting less jealous with age. I was thinking about what might produce jealousy?! Are people jealous because they feel left out? Or is it something you're born with and you cannot help yourself. I remember being jealous in my teen years when I introduced few of my friends with some other friends of mine and we all started hanging out together and then they became best friends with some internal stories of their own. Aware of the fact it's stupid, I still felt like someone invaded my property. Lately, if I feel jealous, I try to rationalize facts and most of the time I come to a conclusion that there's nothing to be jealous about, but sometimes not.
They say that in a relationship, a little dose of jealousy is healthy. If someone does not feel jealousy at all, it seems like one does not care. However, overdoing it may cause many problems. If love is in the air, jealousy can ruin the relationship. When I was writing about this I talked to my friend with great jealousy experience. She said that she is jealous like crazy and that she makes scenes if she thinks her husband payed too much attention to some other girlie. She does not think that he would ever cheat on her but she does not want to share his attention. She said that she cannot help herself. Luckily the guy is full of understanding and it seems that it does not bother him.
People are often jealous of their boyfriend/girlfriend's friends of the opposite sex. I think it is stupid, but I was never in that situation so I cannot know. Imagine: you have friends of the opposite sex that you know from your first day of school and then many years later you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that is jealous of those friends. What would you do? The rational explanation is that if nothing happened between people in so many years, there is very small possibility that it ever will...especially if one happens to be very much in love with the jealous partner. It is always wrong to make someone choose between a lover and a friend. Either way, someone will be unhappy! In time of crisis that subject will come up and make crisis even worse. When I am concerned, seven nation army couldn't hold me back from hanging with my oldest friends.
Full size jelousy breaks loose after a break up. As Oscar Wilde said: „There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.“ It is completely true. No matter who broke up with whom, people get jelous of the person their ex falls in love with next. We all often think that we are better than that, new person in every possible way. No matter what the person's like, we figure that he/she is ugly and stupid. Maybe after a while we let go of the „stupid“ part, but we surely stick to „ugly“. We are jealous of what that new person got, simply because it was once ours and we lost it. Maybe it is nothing better than we have, but it is what we though we wanted at one time. I was wondering if people feel jealous towards their past relationships only if they still have feelings for the ex or is it permanent regardless of the feelings you have. Most of the people I asked said that they always get a bit jealous when any of their past boyfreind/girlfriend hooks up with someone new. They said that it is not always about love, but about ego. Why is that? Does that mean we're jealous or envious of someone else's happiness? Unknown autor once wrote: jealousy is a disease, so get well soon, fool!
Now when I read what I wrote I am completely aware of the fact that being jealous is juvenal and silly, still it is normal. Of course I'd think that exboyfriend's new girlie(s) are damn ugly and stupid. What can I say, I am only human.
Post je objavljen 11.02.2007. u 19:32 sati.