Gledao sam sinoć "Born into this", dokumentarni film o životu Charlsa Bukowskog. I vidio sam sinoć Bukowskog kako plače. Stara pijana pizda, plače. Uhvatio me je nespremnog, na prepad. Ne baš očaran Charlsom Bukowskim, ostadoh sinoć očaran njegovima suzama. Učinile su mi se iskrene. Nisu to bile suze samo-sažaljenja i tuge, bile su to suze iskrenog ganuća. Na kraju filma su pročitali jednu njegovu pjesmu, pjesmu o plavoj ptici. Staro đubre je znalo kako treba pisati poeziju. Kakav je to osjećaj koji se probudi unutra u tebi, koji ti nalaže da mu nešto sočno opsuješ ili da ga uvrijediš, i siguran si da se on ne bi ljutio? I sve to u samoći sobe i četiri zida. Inače nemam običaj starijim ljudima govoriti da su pizde, ali da je živ i da se upoznajemo po prvi puta, bio bi mi to prirodan početak razgovora. I kako ovo sve skupa izreći tako da se ne primijeti da si običan mali seronja? No, što je tu je prijatelji, citat srijedom - Charles Bukowski:
Bluebrid
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?