Pokisli pjesnik

11.01.2009., nedjelja

Pečat krvi

Joj.. kako sam sad tužan i razočaran. Joj.. zašto mi se to sve događa. Sad sam bio na misi. I opet sam vidio Ljubicu. I to sasvim slučajno sam osjetio.. po glasu valjda kad je pjevala.. stajala je iza mene i skroz sam se uvjerio da je ona kad smo si ruke davali na 'mir s tobom'.
Neznam da li je slučajno.. ali baš sam ju sinoć sanjao opet. Nakon dosta vremena.. nakon jedno mjesec dana možda.. neznam točno.
Tako sam tužan jer joj nisam opet uspio ništa reći, jer sam opet otišao bez da sam iša napravio i sad imam užasnu grižnju savjesti i skroz sam tužan i skroz razočaran sobom. Na kraju kad je svećenik rekao da je misa završena za vrijeme završne pjesme sam otišao van..u nadi da će i ona ranije izaći jer ona obično ne čeka tu pjesmu dokraja. No ovaj puta ja sam ranije izašao misleći da je već vani a ona ju je čekala..i onda sam vani opet sve uprskao.. jer u takvim trenicima.. kad treba učiniti neštosa ženskim rodom.. ja potpuno izgubim dar razmišljanja.. i učinim sve što nije dobro.. jer sam budala kakva jesam, otišao do auta i otišao doma.. jer sam opet izgubio razum i dar razmišljanja.. i opet je sve palo u vodu. Tako je glupo ispalo. Toliko joj želim reći bar par riječi.. a ne mogu.. ne mogu.. jednostavno neki užasan sram me koči... da joj ne mogu ništa govoriti.. a toliko.. iz svega srca bi želio.. Da smo barem nasamo.. sve joj bi rekao.
Da vas podsjetim - Ljubica je cura kojoj sam prije negdje pola godine poklonio ovu pjesmu koju ćete sada vidjeti. Tada.. napisao sam i iza broj mobitela ako me ikad poželi upoznati..no nikad nisam ni sms dobio. A i na kavu sam ju bio uživo pozvao.. no rekla mi je da ima dečka.. no da ćemo jednom otići. Iako joj je najprije bilo užasno neugodno.. da me nije mogla gledati.. s vremenom se počela smiješiti. I rekla mi je da joj je lijepa pjesma. No nikada se nije javila..
Tako sam razočaran sobom.. zbog svega.. što nijednu pjesmu moju nikada nije vidjela osim te jedne.. a toliko bih želio da vidi.. što joj nisam imao prilike reći kako mi je draga.. i što ne mogu biti barem prijatelj sa njome.. da mogu razgovarati sa njome.. a toliko bih to volio.. Ja sam izgubljeno dijete koje poznavajući sebe, se nikada neće promijeniti. A imam 25 godina..
Ovo je pjesma; koju je tada, prije negdje pola godine dobila.. I potpuno vjerujem da.. dok sam živ, ovakvu pjesmu; dublju od toga, za neku žensku osobu više neću moći napisati.. tu se sve poklopilo..i tu sam ja svoju dušu ispustio.. To je moj limit.. dalje od toga od mene ne ide..


Pečat krvi


Nekoć sam kao i sad zauvijek;
dijete u srcu bio
I sanjah često, kao i danas
I ono što sam htio
Ono što sam sramom krio
Samo dirnuti tebe srcem,
je sve što sad sam snio

Ne vidjeh osmjeh tvoj,
ali zato baš, ja vidjeh te
U obzoru, moga jutra
snivalo je srca sutra
Ja ne gledah, tijelo tvoje
al' u Duhu, ja zaista, ugledah te

Sestro volim, što postojiš
Pa umirem, tu dok stojiš
kao duša, hladnog zida
Jer ja ljubim, i otajstvo tvoje sjene,
otajstvo tvoje tame

Ako oči naše padnu kao očaj
u bezdan nevjerne tame,
i zaborave, kao ljudi,
i utope se, kao stijene u moru
kao prah ja isčeznut ću,
no ja kažem ti - pamtit ćeš me
Prah će nas progutati u prahu
no u grob tebe nosim
Zapečatih ovom riječju
dok sam na dnu pala mora
udisao snagom pluća
vruće krvi ove snene,
dok mi kraj nj srce kuca
Jer zauvijek sad si zatvorena,
kao robinja u krvi moga srca

Sada iz utrobe dubine svoje
vadim sa krvlju komad srca svoga
I pred oči tvoje ga predajem
dok umire kao vrijeme
Pa srce mi postane teško kao vječnost
a njime sam zapisao ove riječi

Od danas - ti mene već znaš
I ja stoga ti kažem:
Dođi - ja zovem da sanjam,
a ne da živim, jer živ sam umro
U dubini ove duše,
još se svijeti drevni ruše
Strastvena je i naivna,
djetinjasta, i duboka
kao dijete, plavog oka
Pogledaj me -
Iz mene potoci riječi će teći
Ja pisati ću, ja sanjati ću,
kao tiha ovca stada, disati ću

Znadoh dok te, vidjeh jutrom
da si mirna, kao rosa

Reče noć mi, u tvom oku
da si more, u potoku

Reče vjetar na pustinjskom mraku
da je svjetlo to u prahu

Kao odsjaj, vjernom toku
vjerna da si, sna dubina
stijene skromne, uzvisina

Jednom, kada korijen mi iz dubine uvene
živjet ću u prostranstvima bure
što je lupala mi u sjeti srca

No svjetlo će korijenu dati novi život,
pa će Duh da ga obljubi vjerom
A u njoj ću baštiniti
zlato u polju tvoga oka
što je sanjalo u obzoru
korijena, u cvijetu vrta
u carstvu tvoje duše
- 12:33 - Komentari (9) - Isprintaj - #

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LINK NA MOJE PJESME


O meni..mojim stavovima, stvarima koje volim ili koje me zaokupljaju. Mjesto gdje otvaram dušu..

Mail: cro_nevermore@yahoo.com
icq: 268-687-732
msn: na mail pitati

Miracle of Holy Fire which happens every year

Pjesme za download:
Sacred Warrior - He Died
Frank Sinatra – My Way
Don McLean - American Pie
Black Sabbath - Neon Knights
King Diamond - Dressed in White

Download albuma benda Nepal (bivši bend blogera http://rockapologetix.blog.hr):
Nepal - Freak Out

Nepal - Freak out - download pojedinačnih pjesama:
1. More Skin
2. In Need
3. My Universe
4. I Wanna Be Free Now
5. Flying Song
6. Pale Driver
7. Not At All
8. Never Let You Go
9. Nowhere To Go

Linkovi

"My name is Jesus. I Am the way."

Isus je osoba kojoj se divim.. kada se ne može naći utjeha, ljudi bi trebali pogledati njegov primjer i shvatiti da Krist je put.

Velike riječi..



quotations: EDGAR ALLAN POE

ljepota:
I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty.

smrt i umiranje:
Thank Heaven! the crisis,
The danger, is past,
And the lingering illness
Is over at last—
And the fever called "living"
Is conquered at last.

snovi:
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

ljubav:
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea,
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
I and my Annabel Lee -
With a love that the winged seraphs of Heaven
Coveted her and me.
(First version published in The New York Tribune on October 9, 1849. This final text, which appeared in Union Magazine in January 1850, is generally assumed to be referring to Poe's 13-year-old wife, Virginia Clemm.)

ljubav:
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

ljubav:
Thou wast that all to me, love,
For which my soul did pine—
A green isle in the sea, love,
A fountain and a shrine.


quotations: CHARLES PIERRE BAUDELAIRE

dobro i zlo:
There are in every man, at every hour, two simultaneous postulations, one towards God, the other towards Satan.

pjesnici:
The poet is like the prince of the clouds,
Who rides out the tempest and laughs at the archer.
But when he is exiled on the ground, amidst the clamour,
His giant's wings prevent him from walking.

poštovanje:
There exist only three beings worthy of respect: the priest, the soldier, the poet. To know, to kill, to create.

Sjedinjene Američke Države:
The United States was nothing but a vast prison house for Poe, within which he moved in a state of feverish imagination, like someone born to breathe a sweeter air.


quotations: HERMANN HESSE

mržnja:
If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

znanje:
Knowledge can be communicated but not wisdom.


quotations: STEPHANE MALLARME

poezija:
To name an object is to destroy three-quarters of the pleasure given by a poem, which is gained little by little: to suggest it, that is the ideal.


quotations: GERARD DE NERVAL

očaj:
Despair and suicide are the result of certain fatal situations for those who have no faith in immortality, its joys and its sorrows.

melankolija:
I am the darkly shaded, the bereaved, the unconsoled,
The Prince of Aquitaine, with the blasted tower:
My only star is dead, and my star-studded lute
Wears the black sun of melancholy.


quotations: WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

sloboda:
Two voices are there; one is of the sea,
One of the mountains; each a mighty voice:
In both from age to age thou didst rejoice,
They were thy chosen music, Liberty!


quotations: W. B. YEATS

sudbina:
A girl arose that had red mournful lips
And seemed the greatness of the world in tears,
Doomed like Odysseus and the labouring ships
And proud as Priam murdered with his peers.

život i smrt:
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds, A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

ljubav:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

žrtva:
Too long a sacrifice
Can make a stone of the heart.

vrijeme koje prolazi:
The innocent and the beautiful
Have no enemy but time.

pisci:
If we understand our own minds, and the things that are striving to utter themselves through our minds, we move others, not because we have understood or thought about those others, but because all life has the same root.


quotations: ALFRED TENNYSON

ljubav:
And o'er the hills, and far away
Beyond their utmost purple rim,
Beyond the night, across the day,
Thro' all the world she follow'd him.

riječi:
For words, like Nature, half reveal
And half conceal the Soul within.


quotations: G. K. CHESTERTON

ludilo:
The madman is not the man who has lost his reason. The madman is the man who has lost everything except his reason.

patriotizam:
"My country, right or wrong" is a thing that no patriot would think of saying, except in a desperate case. It is like saying "My mother, drunk or sober."


EDGAR ALLAN POE - ANNABELL LEE
It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of Annabel Lee;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.
I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love--
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her high-born kinsman came
And bore her away from me,


To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.
The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went on envying her and me--
Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we--
Of many far wiser than we--
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.
For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling--my darling--my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea




CHARLES BAUDELAIRE - EPITAF ZA OSUĐENU KNJIGU

Dobroćudni, mirni čitaoče,
Kome srce trezvenošću bije,
Baci ovu knjigu, vedra nije,
Iz nje sjeta i razvrat se toče.

Ako nisi školovat se htio
Kod Sotone-meštra prepredena-
Za tebe će ostat neshvaćena
Il' ćeš reći da sam mahnit bio.

Ako udes snagu ti je dao
Da zaroniš u ponore zala,
Štuj me, da bi ljubit me znao.

Bolna dušo, dušo radoznala,
Koja tražiš raj svoj, ti me sudi,
Požali me!- il prokleta budi!