... I guess I need you baby ...

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utorak, 02.05.2006.

…vidjela sam ga…

…Da...vidjela sam ga…ponovo nakon dugo vremena…stajao je za sankom s cigaretom u ruci koja kao da je uvijek uz njega …zastala sam i pogledala ga…nisam mogla vjerovati da se nalazi tu ispred mene…da mi je tako blizu…a opet tako daleko…i on je mene ugledao…prisao mi je te me pozdravio i zagrlio…jos osjecam njegove ruke na meni…njegov topli zagrljaj…osjecala sam se predivno…ali to je trajalo sam nekoliko trenutaka jer sam se sjetila kakav je i da sad ima curu…odmaknula sam se…on me pogledao te poceo ispitivati neka glupa pitanja samo kako bi zapoceo neki razgovor…plesali smo i bili zajedno…osjecala sam se dobro i sretno…ali opet nekako tuzno jer sam znala da ne moze biti moj…da nesmije biti moj…poslije je opet negdi otisao ali je obecao da ce se vratiti…nisam se previse nadala jer u njegova obecanja sam vec odavno prestala vjerovati…nedugo zatim sam ga vidjela sa curom…osjecala sam se tako grozno…tako ljuto…no to naravno nisam pokazivala vec sam plesala i smijala se samo da nitko nebi primjetio moju bol a pogotovo on…kasnije je ipak dosao…zelio se naci sa mnom…negdi gdje nas nitko nebi vidio…odbijala sam njegov poziv i nisam zeljela ponovo pociniti pogresku…ali nisam bila dovoljno jaka da se odupirem…nisam bila jaka i sada mi je tako zao zbog toga…popustila sam i otisli smo negdi…i da…poljubili smo se…opet…nakon toliko vremena…moje su usne opet ljubile njegove…moje je srce opet osjetilo njegove dodire…ali moj razum mi je govorio da se maknem…i maknula sam se ali tek poslije…tek nakon sto je vec sve bilo ucinjeno…tek nakon sto sam ucinila ogromnu pogresku…dopustila sam mu da prevari svoju curu sa mnom…makar znam da nisam jedina s kojom ju je prevario…ali ipak osjecam se tako grozno…tako slabo…i tako sam ljuta na sebe jer nisam bila dovoljno jaka da se oduprem njemu…njemu koji me je slomio…koji me je unistio…i ostavio…opet sam pala na njegov osmjeh…na njegove slatke rijeci…za koje znam da su bile lazi…no u tom trenutku sam bila sljepa…slusala sam srce a ne razum…i tako sam pogrijesila…i sada mi je zbog toga jos gore…ali ipak kada se sjetim njegovog poljupca i zagrljaja…obuzme me neka toplina…neki osjecaj ispunjenosti koji vec odavno nisam osjetila…neznam cudno je to…kako zbog necega mozes toliko zaliti a da ti opet na neki nacin bude drago…stvarno neznam…samo znam da sam mu se opet prepustila…jer njemu nikad nisam znala reci NE…nisam dovoljno jaka da mu to kazem…no kada to uspijem znati cu da sam ga konacno preboljela…i tek tada cu se osjecati stvarno sretno i zadovoljno…

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- 21:25 - Komentari (14) - Isprintaj - #

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  • st patrick's


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    ... everytime ...

    Notice me, take my hand
    Why are we strangers when
    Our love is strong
    Why carry on without me

    Everytime I try to fly, I fall
    Without my wings,
    I feel so small
    I guess I need you, baby
    And everytime I see
    you in my dreams
    I see your face,
    it's haunting me
    I guess I need you, baby

    I make believe that
    you are here
    It's the only way I see clear
    What have I done
    You seem to move on easy

    And everytime I try to fly, I fall
    Without my wings,
    I feel so small
    I guess I need you, baby
    And everytime I see
    you in my dreams
    I see your face,
    you're haunting me
    I guess I need you, baby

    I may have made it rain
    Please forgive me
    My weakness caused you pain
    And this song's my sorry

    At night I pray
    That soon your face
    will fade away


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    ... woman in love ...

    Life is a moment in space
    When the dream is gone
    It's a lonelier place
    I kiss the morning good-bye
    But down inside you know
    We never know why

    The road is narrow and long
    When eyes meet eyes
    And the feeling is strong
    I turn away from the wall
    I stumble and fall
    But I give you it all

    With you eternally mine
    In love there is
    No measure of time
    They planned it all at the start
    That you and I
    Live in each other's heart

    We may be oceans away
    You feel my love
    I hear what you say
    No truth is ever a lie
    I stumble and fall
    But I give you it all

    I am a woman in love
    And I'd do anything
    To get you into my world
    And hold you within
    It's a right I defend
    Over and over again
    What do I do?

    I am a woman in love
    And I'm talkin' to you
    You know how you feel
    What a woman can do
    It's a right I defend
    Over and over again


    saint patrick's day



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    ... the winner takes it all ...

    I don’t wanna talk
    About the things we’ve gone through
    Though it’s hurting me
    Now it’s history
    I’ve played all my cards
    And that’s what you’ve done too
    Nothing more to say
    No more ace to play

    The winner takes it all
    The loser standing small
    Beside the victory
    That’s her destiny

    I was in your arms
    Thinking I belonged there
    I figured it made sense
    Building me a fence
    Building me a home
    Thinking I’d be strong there
    But I was a fool
    Playing by the rules

    The gods may throw a dice
    Their minds as cold as ice
    And someone way down here
    Loses someone dear
    The winner takes it all
    The loser has to fall
    It’s simple and it’s plain
    Why should I complain.

    But tell me does she kiss
    Like I used to kiss you?
    Does it feel the same
    When she calls your name?
    Somewhere deep inside
    You must know I miss you
    But what can I say
    Rules must be obeyed

    The judges will decide
    The likes of me abide
    Spectators of the show
    Always staying low
    The game is on again
    A lover or a friend
    A big thing or a small
    The winner takes it all

    I don’t wanna talk
    If it makes you feel sad
    And I understand
    You’ve come to shake my hand
    I apologize
    If it makes you feel bad
    Seeing me so tense
    No self-confidence
    But you see
    The winner takes it all


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    saint st patrick's day 2006



    ... frozen ...

    You only see what your eyes want to see
    How can life be what you want it to be
    You’re frozen
    When your heart’s not open

    You’re so consumed with how much you get
    You waste your time with hate and regret
    You’re broken
    When your heart’s not open

    If I could melt your heart
    We’d never be apart
    Give yourself to me
    You hold the key

    Now there’s no point in placing the blame
    And you should know I suffer the same
    If I lose you
    My heart will be broken

    Love is a bird, she needs to fly
    Let all the hurt inside of you die
    You’re frozen
    When your heart’s not open

    If I could melt your heart


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    ... bring me to life ...

    How can you see into my eyes
    Like open doors.
    Leading you down into my core
    Where I’ve become so numb.
    Without a soul
    My spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold
    Until you find it there and lead it back home.

    (wake me up.
    Wake me up inside.
    I can’t wake up.
    Wake me up inside.
    Save me.
    Call my name and save me from the dark.
    Wake me up.
    Bid my blood to run.
    I can’t wake up.
    Before I come undone.
    Save me.
    Save me from the nothing I’ve become.)

    Now that I know what I’m without
    You can’t just leave me.
    Breathe into me and make me real
    Bring me to life.

    Bring me to life.
    I’ve been living a lie
    There’s nothing inside.
    Bring me to life.

    Frozen inside without your touch,
    Without your love, darling.
    Only you are the life among the dead.

    All of this sight
    I can’t believe I couldn’t see
    Kept in the dark
    But you were there in front of me

    I’ve been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
    I’ve got to open my eyes to everything.

    Without a thought
    Without a voice
    Without a soul

    Don’t let me die here
    There must be something wrong.
    Bring me to life.

    Bring me to life.
    I’ve been living a lie
    There’s nothing inside.

    Bring me to life


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    ... un-break my heart ...

    Don’t leave me in all this pain
    Don’t leave me out in the rain
    Come back and bring back my smile
    Come and take these tears away
    I need your arms to hold me now
    The nights are so unkind
    Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

    Un-break my heart
    Say you’ll love me again
    Undo this hurt you caused
    When you walked out the door
    And walked outta my life
    Un-cry these tears
    I cried so many nights
    Un-break my heart
    My heart

    Take back that sad word good-bye
    Bring back the joy to my life
    Don’t leave me here with these tears
    Come and kiss this pain away
    I can’t forget the day you left
    Time is so unkind
    And life is so cruel without you here beside me

    Un-break my heart
    Say you’ll love me again
    Undo this hurt you caused
    When you walked out the door
    And walked outta my life
    Un-cry these tears
    I cried so many nights
    Un-break my heart
    My heart

    Don’t leave me in all this pain
    Don’t leave me out in the rain
    Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

    Un-break my heart
    Come back and say you love me
    Un-break my heart
    Sweet darlin’
    Without you I just can’t go on
    Can’t go on


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    ... wish you were here ...

    Wish you were here
    Me oh my countryman
    Wish you where here

    Wish you were here
    Don't you know the stove is
    Getting colder
    And i miss you like hell
    And i'm feeling blue

    I've got feelings for you babe
    Do you still feel the same
    From the first time i laid my
    Eyes on you
    I felt joy of living
    I saw heaven in your eyes in
    Your eyes

    I miss your laugh i miss
    Your smile
    I miss everything about you
    Every second's like a minute
    Every minute's like a day
    When you're far away

    Wish you were here
    The stove is getting colder baby
    Wish you were here
    A battlefield of love and fear


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    ... without you ...

    No I can’t forget this evening
    Or your face as you were leaving
    But I guess that’s just the way
    The story goes
    You always smile but in your eyes
    Your sorrow shows
    Yes it shows
    No I can’t forget tomorrow
    When I think of all my sorrow
    When I had you there
    But then I let you go
    And now it’s only fair
    That I should let you know
    What you should know

    I can’t live
    If living is without you
    I can’t live
    I can’t give anymore
    I can’t live
    If living is without you
    I can’t give
    I can’t give anymore

    Well I can’t forget this evening
    Or your face as you were leaving
    But I guess that’s just the way
    The story goes
    You always smile but in your eyes
    Your sorrow shows
    Yes it shows

    I can’t live
    If living is without you
    I can’t live
    I can’t give any more
    I can’t live
    If living is without you
    I can’t give
    I can’t give anymore


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    … ti ne znas sto je ljubav …

    Čaša prepun stol, u meni bol
    Svi su noćas tu, al nije on
    S društvom nazdravljam, trudim se da se ne vidi
    Glasno smijem se ne dam da itko primijeti
    Ti ne znaš što je ljubav, bez malo srama srce si mi slomio
    Ti ne znaš što je ljubav i nikad nikog nisi tako volio

    Ne mogu, ja više ne mogu ni suzu pustiti, što mi to radiš
    Bože snage mi daj, bar da te mogu mrziti

    Glumim, glumim da mi kiša ne smeta,
    Glumim da toplo mi je, a ko santa leda sam

    Čaša prepun stol, u meni bol
    Svi su otišli, al nije on
    Vrisnula bih sad samo da bol me popusti
    Srce ne sluša, bar da te mogu mrziti
    Ti ne znaš što je ljubav, bez malo srama srce si mi slomio
    Ti ne znaš što je ljubav i nikad nikog nisi tako volio

    Ne mogu, ja više ne mogu ni suzu pustiti, što mi to radiš
    Bože snage mi daj, bar da te mogu mrziti

    A glumim, glumim da mi kiša ne smeta,
    Glumim da toplo mi je, a ko santa leda sam


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    … ja za ljubav necu moliti …

    O nasoj ljubavi su pricali
    Zavidjeli svemu sto smo imali,
    Da budu kao mi su zeljeli,
    A ti i ja smo krivim putem krenuli.

    Nekad tesko je ostati
    Kad ljubav ce proslost postati
    Bolje moglo je

    Ja za ljubav necu moliti
    Vise se necu za tebe boriti,
    Jer ti me nisi znao razumjeti
    I ne bi mogao za mene umrijeti.

    Nas je susret bio sudbina,
    Zar ti, stvarno, nista nisam znacila
    Lakse ces bez mene uspjeti
    Al' ja cu nekako to, znam, prezivjeti


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    … led …

    Dobra večer, kako si?
    Dugo se nismo vidjeli,
    i dugo već me pogled tvoj
    ne miluje.

    Dobra večer, zašto si
    ostavio me bez ljubavi,
    i od tada više ona
    tu ne stanuje.

    Ja nikad nisam mogla doći
    blizu tvoga svijeta,
    tvoja hladnoća bi mi
    ubila sva ljeta...

    Tvoje je srce led,
    a usne su ti kao med
    i bez njih ne mogu živjeti...

    U oku hladni pol,
    srcu mome samo bol,
    a tvoje ne da se otopiti,
    ni vatra neće to promijeniti.


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    ... da znaš ...

    Danima već se nismo vidjeli
    a tvoje prijatelje ne pitam
    ne želim priznati da ne znam
    šta se s' nama to zbilo za tren

    Svake se noći tiho pomolim
    sa željom da te sutra ugledam
    i sve bih dala da si sa mnom
    da te dotaknem samo na tren

    Da znaš, da znaš
    kako pogled me tvoj još boli
    da znaš kako srce te moje voli
    da znaš kako tužna sam bez tebe
    da znaš uvijek bio bi kraj mene

    Da znaš kol'ko suza sam isplakala
    da znaš i da nisam se pokajala
    da znaš kako tužna sam bez tebe
    da znaš uvijek bio bi tu

    U mome sjećanju
    počinje sve od ovog proljeća
    i ova tuga koju osjećam
    slomiće srce na pola, za tren

    Svake se noći tiho pomolim
    sa željom da te sutra ugledam
    i sve bih dala da si sa mnom
    da te dotaknem samo na tren

    U mom životu
    barem kratko dušo
    bio si sve
    i kako vrijeme ide
    vidim da mi ne ide

    Jer kud god krenem
    kud god pođem
    samo za tebe znam
    priznajem od tog dana
    sebi ja ne pripadam

    Kao u nekom filmu
    cijeli moj se srušio svijet
    i čekam da se nešto desi
    čekam preokret

    Jer kud god krenem
    kud god pođem
    samo za tebe znam
    ne želim biti sama

    Želim samo tebi
    ja da pripadam
    ko sto se pripada po prvi put
    reci da nije bilo uzalud
    da tvoja ljubav jos traje bar tren


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    ... opijum ...

    Ne vjerujem vise ljudima,
    kad o tebi govore,
    uvijek lazu zasto ne bi i sada,
    ja i ne vjerujem to,
    da ti nisi vise moj

    Ne daj mene za nju,
    zlato za prasinu,
    mog srca si sum
    i za um opijum,
    ne daj usne za sol,
    moju ljubav za bol,
    na nebu, na dnu,
    ja sam tu,ja sam tu



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    ... luda mala ...

    Pamtim bolje dane, čuvam ih u snu
    Kada jutro svane, cvijet na jastuku
    Pamtim pored rijeke, stranu sunčanu
    Na sedmom sam nebu, a ti nisi tu

    Tu je Sava bila plava kad god bih te ugledala
    Tu sam jednom s tobom zastala LUDA MALA!
    Nisam znala da će dugo, dugo da me boli glava
    od ljetnog vina s tvojih usana

    Da dobri momci ne postoje
    makar to sam shvatila
    Pa zato praštam grijehe tvoje
    jer mi nema boljega
    Mnogo vode Savom znam mora proteći
    da bih ja od tebe mogla pobjeći.


    st patrick's

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