BLACK&WHITE
27.10.2004., srijeda
Darkest hour before the dawn
Opet ...ma ne...nije depresija...al fakin melankolija. I ovo pisem al ne znam oce li biti post. Ma oce valjda. Trecu noc/jutro zaredom budim se u isto vrijeme. I na isti nacin. Bez ure. Sam se budim. Poslije sna. Mokar. I budim se sa istom mislju. I onda se dizem. Sa cudnim nekim filingom. Tesko je opisat uopce. Mjesavina svega i svacega. Pa uglavnom nekakva melankolija...pomjesana s zerom depresije...straha... Pa onda pijem prvu kavu. Palim prvu cigaretu. Pa drugu...trecu...a sad vec...fak!!...opet sam preko kutije...i jako me to ljuti! Al jebga...ja ionako znam kad cu prestat pusit. Tocno znam!! Al o tome necu. To je na meni da znam. The lore of elders passes judgements on this waste And finding me or them does lack accepting fate And as the moments pass another face arrives We watch them come and go with speed of passing clouds Forbidden fruits of dreams that rule our thoughts my love Of lands untouched and ways to come always maybe But choking on the promises meant for the deal Thinking again the darkest hour before the dawn Confirming fears that from the dawn of time have been Retracing footsteps in dark chambers of grey lands And through the madness through the terror we must pass As if awaiting sunlight that may never come In time we face ourselves with all our faults and fears Now that i know the final conflict is within I recognise the faces of my friends and hear the call "Come journey, journey with me through the darkest hour" Citao sam malo Pepea jucer(i necu ga sad opet linkat, da se ne umisli!:-D) i komentare mu pa vidim... Da, cini mi se da svatko ima ono jedno ime...jednu osobu...koje se stalno prisjeca...koje ga stalno prati... I ja ga imam. I ne zelim uopce izgovarati njezino ime...jer...ne zelim...i davno sam zabranio svima oko sebe!! Ma proslo je to sve...ali uvijek...uvijek te nesto podsjeti. Prosli tjedan...u jednom danu...u jednom satu...mene je tako bacilo natrag...u proslost...i to kad se najmanje nadas! Podsjetilo me na NJU. I nije bilo ugodno. Cudno zapravo. Jer bilo je to stvarno davno. Reko sam nekome neki dan - svirao je na radiju Stublic - '...ne osjecam nista...samo se sjecam.'. To je to. I proslo je vrijeme kad sam se pitao ovako nesto : He waits for her to understand But she won't understand at all She waits all night for him to call But he won't call anymore He waits to hear her say "Forgive" But she justs drops her pearl-black eyes And prays to hear him say "I love you" But he tells no more lies He waits for her to sympathize But she won't sympathize at all She waits all night to feel his kiss But always wakes alone He waits to hear her say "Forget" But she just hangs her head in pain And prays to hear him say "No more I'll never leave again" How did we get this far apart? We used to be so close together How did we get this far apart? I thought this love would last for ever I ja sam mislio. Da ce trajat zauvijek. Vise ne. I ne znam jel cu opet ikad tako mislit. Jebga. I necu vise nekog cekat da me razumije. Jer...il me razumije il ne. Tocka. I boli me ku... onda. Pa sve sve i ako to znacilo da i ja onda idem u ku...! Bas me briga! Neka. I jos mi nes palo na pamet sad. Citao sam jednom negdje...'Za onog koga volis mozes napravit sve osim...voljeti ga ponovo.' Istina. Al dobro...neko se mozda i nece slozit sa mnom. Neka. Ma uzasna zbrka od posta. Pisem bezveze...kako mi dolazi...i zato je tako sjebano. Fak! Jel se jos nekom pojavi kad onaj osjecaj da nece biti dobro? Da ce sve krenut krivo ili je vec krenulo...i da ce se nesto dogodit. Nesto.A ne mozes nista napravit jer i ne znas sto ce se dogodit. A mozda i ne zelis ista napravit. Pa mislis...neka se dogodi. Sta ja tu mogu?? E pa tako se i ja osjecam sad. Neka se dogodi. Marian, there's a weight above me And the pressure is all too strong To breathe deep Breathe long and hard To take the water down and go to sleep To sink still further Beneath the fatal wave Marian I think I'm drowning This sea is killing me I nije sad ovo depresivka neka. Nije uopce. Samo razmisljanje. Ili...melankolija, reko sam vec. Ma bezveze. p.s. I sad slobodno mozete reci - fak! opet ovaj sere nes! ma kak ju!! - jer i meni doslo da samom sebi kazem - gou fak jorself!! :-D Jebga. p.p.s. A ova slikica gore je moj jutrosnji darkest hour before the dawn...uz dim cigarete. Eto. ********************** JOHN PEEL (1939 - 2004) Pocivaj u miru, John... ********************** Zadnji apdejt veceras. Par dana me nece bit kuci pa...nis. To je to. There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface Consuming Confusing This lack of self-control I fear is never ending Controlling I can't seem To find myself again My walls are closing in Without a sense of confidence,and I'm convinced That there's just too much pressure to take I've felt this way before So insecure Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me Distracting Reacting Against my will I stand beside my own reflection It's haunting how I can't seem To find myself again My walls are closing in Crawling in my skin These wounds they will not heal Fear is how I fall Confusing, confusing what is real |
