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Prosinac 2007 (1)
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Opis bloga

I have a demon inside me.
And he likes to play.
My mind is his sanctuary.
My Pandemonium.


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Linkovi

Blog.hr
Forum.hr
Monitor.hr



Nightwish
Full albums download
Brian Joubert Discussion Group

Eruanna
Libertine Noir
SHIVA-the destroyer
...Nightwish...
Akasha

They help me make yet another step forward

Without music I would be long gone

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A true bookworm

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and so many more..

Movies that I can't stop watching (over and over again):

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The story of a fallen

A dreamer.
The best description of who I am.
Don't belong in this world, yet I exist.
But, to more earthly subjects....
I'm 21 years old, a student...
Fighting my battles with exams,
Some lost, some... not.
My passions are: music, books, movies,
figure-skating (just for watching, I can't skate).
One man made me fall in love in figure-skating: Brian Joubert


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His name is Joubert, Brian Joubert
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I love: nature, walks, birds, cats, grey colour, snowdrops, winter, smell of fire and burning wood, puffy clouds, stars, moon, movie music (LotR rules), coffee, colours of sunrise and sunset, a touch of wind on my face, morning fog at the egde of a forest, summer rain, smell of pine,lemons, early morning birds song, a feeling after I read a good book, my comp, mp3, my room(my realm), my twisted mind and believe it or not, writing stories or poems (when my inspiration grace me with it's presence, mostly not, but sometimes....)

Look at me
See my sorrow
Touch my face
Take my sadness away
Stop those tears
That are falling on the ground
Hold my hand
Stand by me
Be my support
If I'm alone I will brake apart
Love me with the same fire
As I love you
Look at me
Take my sorrow away.





























Slaying The Dreamer

I'm a priest for the poorest sacrifice
I'm but a raft in a sea of sorrow, sorrow and greed
You bathed feet in my wine
Drank from my cup, mocked my rhyme
Your slit tongues licked my aching wounds

Put a stake! Through my heart
And drag me into sunlight
So awake! For your greed
As you're slaying the dreamer

Swansong for the Witch of Night
God it hurts, give a name to the pain
Our primrose path to hell is growing weed

Put a stake! Through my heart
And drag me into sunlight
So awake! For your greed
As you're slaying the dreamer

Blame me, it's me
Coward, a good-for-nothing scapegoat
Dumb kid, living a dream
Romantic only on paper

Tell me why! You took all that was mine!
Stay as you lay - don't lead me astray!

Wake up! Mow the weed!
You'd be nothing without me!
Take my life if you have heart, heart to die!

You bastards tainted my tool
Raped my words, played me a fool
Gather your precious glitter and leave me be!
The Great Ones are all dead
And I'm tired, too

I, truly, hate, you, all!





Beyond Redemption


Oh I see your scars I know where they're from
So sensually carved and bleeding until you're dead and gone
I've seen it all before beauty and splendour torn
It's when heaven turns to black and hell to white
Right so wrong and wrong so right

Now

Feel it turning your heart into stone
Feel it piercing your courageous soul
Beyond now - redemption
No one's gonna catch you when you fall

Oh I see you crawl you can barely walk
With arms wide open you keep on begging for more
I've been there before knocking on the same door
It's when hate turns to love and love to hate
Faith to doubt and doubt to faith

Now

Feel it turning your heart into stone
Feel it piercing your courageous soul
Beyond now - redemption
No one's gonna catch you when you fall

Feel it turning your heart into stone
Feel it piercing your courageous soul
Beyond now - redemption
No one's gonna catch you when you fall






Romanticide

Godlove and rest my soul
With this sundown neverending
The feel is gone yet you ain`t gonna see me fail
I am the decadence of your world
I am an eider covered in oil
Happy hunting, you double-faced carnivore

Tell me why
No heart to cry
Hang me high

The music is dead, the amen is said
The kiss of faith is what I beg
A loving heart `n soul for sale

Leave me be
And cease to tell me how to feel
To grieve, to shield myself from evil
Leave me be
Od of lies is killing me
Romanticide
Till love do me part

See me ruined by my own creations

Dead Boy`s alive but without sense
I need a near-death experience
Heart once bold
Now turned to stone
Perfection my messenger from hell

Wine turns to water
Campfires freeze, loveletters burn
Romance is lost
Lord, let me be wrong in this pain

Temporary pain, eternal shame
To take part in this devil`s chess game
Spit on me, let go, get rid of me
And try to survive your stupidity




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Creek Mary's Blood

Soon I will be here no more
You`ll hear the tale
Through my blood
Through my people
And the eagle`s cry
The bear within will never lay to rest

Wandering on Horizon Road
Following the trail of tears

White man came
Saw the blessed land
We cared, you took
You fought, we lost
Not the war but an unfair fight
Sceneries painted beautiful in blood

Wandering on Horizon Road
Following the trail of tears
Once we were here
Where we have lived since the world began
Since time itself gave us this land


Our souls will join again the wild
Our home in peace `n war `n death

Wandering on Horizon Road...
Following the trail of tears
Once we were here
Where we have been since the world began
Since time itself gave us this land

[Poem in Lakotan:]
Hanhepi iyuha mi ihanbla ohinni yelo
Ňn sunkmanitutankapi hena,
sunkawakanpi watogha hena,
oblaye t`ankapi oihankesni hena
T`at`epi kin asni kiyasni he
akatanhanpi iwankal
Oblaye t`anka kin
osicesni mitakuyepi ňn
Makoce kin wakan
Wakan Tanka kin ňn
Miwicala ohinni - Hanhepi iyuha
kici - Anpetu iyuha kici yelo
Mi yececa hehaka kin yelo, na
ni yececa sunkmanitutankapi
kin ka mikaga wowasaka isom
Uncinpi tuweni nitaku keyas ta k`u
Unwakupi e`cela e wiconi
wanji unmakainapi ta yelo
Anpetu waste e wan olowan
le talowan winyan ta yelo
Unwanagi pi lel e nita it`okab o`ta ye
Untapi it`okab o`ta
Na e kte ena ňn hanska ohakap
ni itansni a`u nita ni ihanke yelo

[Poem English translation:]
"I still dream every night
Of them wolves, them mustangs, those endless prairies
The restless winds over mountaintops
The unspoilt frontier of my kith n`kin
The hallowed land of the Great Spirit
I still believe
In every night
In every day
I am like the caribou
And you like the wolves that make me stronger
We never owed you anything
Our only debt is one life for our Mother
It was a good day to chant this song
For Her

Our spirit was here long before you
Long before us
And long will it be after your pride brings you to your end "


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Feel For You

You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent

I'm the snow on your lips
The freezing taste, the silvery sip
I'm the breath on your hair
The endless nightmare, devil's lair

Only so many times
I can say I long for you
The lily among the thorns
The prey among the wolves

Someday, I will feed a snake
Drink her venom, stay awake
With time all pain will fade
Through your memory I will wade

Barely cold in her grave
Barely warm in my bed
Settling for a draw tonight
Puppet girl, your strings are mine

This one is for you for you
Only for you
Just give in to it never think again
I feel for you


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In the Wake

Never knew quite when it stopped
Nor when it began
Just a chain of happenings
Years floating
Days passing by

Falling in and out of madness
Walking on the edge
Pretending
Faking strength
Hiding behind smiles

Never knew quite when it died
Nor when it was torn

Just a chain of bad ideas
Years floating
Days passing by
You may think time stands still, it does not
It disappears
In the wake

Whatever sense it makes
We never learn from our mistakes
Whatever comfort it might bring
Nothingness embraces everything










nedjelja, 02.12.2007.

Lost child

Prekjučer nedaleko od moje kuće jedan automobil udario je 8-godišnjeg dječaka na putu prema školi dok je dijete hodalo NOGOSTUPOM....
Čovjek NIJE BIO pijan....
Zavoj je bio BLAG (toliko da se ne bi ni trebal zvat zavoj).....
Čovjek je ZASPAL za volanom.....
Dijete je završilo sa TEŠKIM POVREDAMA TIJELA I GLAVE.....
Odvezeno je u bolnicu u Klaićevu......
Dijete je jučer UMRLO.....

Meni sad nije jasno, koliko se još smrti treba desit da ljudi počnu normalno vozit, koliko još treba obitelji izgubit svoje dijete zbog gluposti i neopreznost jednog idiota. Koliko još djece treba platit tu igru života koju vode takvi kreteni koji ne znaju da postoji stvar zvana kočnica na njihovom autu, ili da papučica gasa se ne mora nostop držati stisnutom.
Kada će se napokon takvi ljudi počet tretirat kao zločinci što i jesu?!!!!!
Oduzeli su život, trebaju za to platit.
Da se mene pita, tog čovjeka bi trebalo stavit posred ceste i dopustit da ga pregazi auto, oživit ga i opet sve ispočetka. Jer ono što je on napravio (kao i toliko mnogo drugih) je neoprostivo.
Što se treba desit da se ljudi probude i shvate da auti nisu bezopasni, da pravila postoje s razlogom?
Koliko još djece treba UMRIJETI?!!!!!!

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| 13:10 | ...play with me... (8) |

utorak, 23.10.2007.

I am alive

Neizmjerno mi je žao kaj mi je tolko trebalo da napišem novi post. I ovim putem se ispričavam svima zbog mog izbivanja, a i zbog mog ne posjećivanja i kometiranja vaših blogova.

Moje najiskrenije isprike.

Pa da krenem sa update-sima.

TAD WILLIAMS U HRVATSKOJ

Jedan on najboljih pisaca fantastike bio je u Hrvatskoj krajem 8. mjeseca. Naravno, ne moram ni reć koliko sam bila iznenađena i sretna kad sam vidla plakat u Algoritmu.

Još više sam se bila iznenadila kad sam vidla kolko je simpatičan i jednostavan čovjek, čak tolko da sam uspjela progovorit s njim i par riječi. naravno ne moram vam govorit da je fantastičan pisac i da obožavam čitat njegove knjige. i da bilo je jako puno ljudi, što me začudilo i što mi je bilo jako drago.

Nadam se da će opet doć u Hrvatsku, al to će vjerojatno bit kad mu izađe prijevod Shadowplay-a (iskreno se nadam).

Inače možda ste čuli (čitali) za njegovu trilogiju Trn, Sjećanje i Tuga ili za Rat cvjetova, pa ak niste čitali ja vam ih toplo preporučam.

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VENUS DOOM

19. 09. Izašao je, napokon, novi album H.I.M.-a. Prvo sam se iznenadila kad sam vidla da ima samo 9 pjesama (ja bi još!!!) i kad sam vidla naslovnicu, al su zato pjesme fantastične. Album je žešći od prijašnjih i to je jako dobro. Jedino u pjesmi Sleepwalking Past Hope predkraj su malo stavili previše suzvučja, al inače je pjesma super. Trebam li spomenuti da je Venus Doom predobra il da obožavam Love in Cold Blood i Bleed Well il se to jednostavno podrazumijeva? hmm, mislim da se to podrazumijeva. :)

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Iznenađujuće, ovaj poster sam kupila u Profilu (da, da opet ga imaju).

DARK PASSION PLAY

28. 09. Izašao je, dugo očekivani, novi album Nightwish-a. Moj prvi dojam - drugačije.
Kad sam čula početak The Poet and The Pendulum ja sam potpuno iznenađena, predobra pjesma. stvarno je obožavam. jedino kaj mi je žao jest kaj sam se trebala priviknut na nove pjesme. inače kad sam čula neku pjesmu od Nightwisha odmah mi se svidjela, al ovjde sam se trebala priviknut i to mi je neizmjerno žao, al ipak su mi pjesme super i obožavam Bye, Bye Beautiful, Master Passion Greed, Last of the Wilds, Sahara, The Escapist (Eruanna, hvala) i već spomenuti The poet and The Pendulum.
I Anette možda nema glas ko Tarja, al ipak ima super glas, svaka joj čast, jer nije lako nastavit nakon nekog tko je pjeval ko Tarja.

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Oh da, jel netko zna kak nabavit privjesak Pendulum? Please, please ak netko zna, nek javi.

I mislim da je to to. ne, nije, inače prošla sam onaj vražji ispit. a sad me čeka još teži. ;)

| 20:06 | ...play with me... (11) |

petak, 27.07.2007.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

J. K. Rowling was wrong.
She said that the reader will either love or hate 7th book.
Well, I despize it. It made me cry too many times. It made me close it and put it aside just to sort things out too many times. The characters she killed... I still can not belive it. And the way she killed them. So simple, so unheroic.
And that's way I love this book. It made me laugh so hard, it made me cry. Sometimes I was so furious that I couldn't continue to read for some time. The way she writes is simple no 'I'm hero, I will kill you all' babble. Harry is not perfect, and Rowling gave that human line to his character that lacks in many books that I have read.
The twists and turns are unexpected yet so logical. I love it.
And I need to talk with someone about it, but I can't, cause I won't write here what happened in the book. I don't want to ruin the experience of descovering so many things that shocked me, that made me love and hate this book at he same time.
All I can say that this is a glorius edifice for the whole Harry Potter series, and by me, the best book of all 7.
I am only sorry for one thing and this is the epilogue, it's too little, I need more, and there is no more. It's the end.
Maybe J.K. will uncover some of the secrets she left us with, after we finished the last chapter. I strongly believe she will.

But, all is well.

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| 12:21 | ...play with me... (10) |

nedjelja, 08.07.2007.

Bringer of Death

It was warm. I could feel my skin started to sweat. I looked at the sky. It was, surprisingly, sunset. The sky was beautiful. dark blue, red, firey pink and red, and a bit of light blue. It was a sympohny of colors. I sighed and let my look fall on magnificant edifice. A pyramid. My resting place. soon they will put my body there, but not my life. I am god to them, and when they bury me inside I will go to another place, another house for god like me. I smiled. Human mindes are so easy to delude. I need to celebrate my soon to be departure from this place that strated to bore me. I jumped and soon I found myself on the rooftop in the middle of the city. A big square, so many victims, so many inocent lifes on my hands. I observed their movments, their minds so focused on ingsignificat things that doesn't matter. And then I saw her. Perfect. Her scent already made my mouth water. The hunter was awaken.
A little girl, all alone, crying. She lost her mother. From rooftop she seemed even more fragile.
I need to have her NOW. I looked for some dark alley where no one will notice me appearing from thin air.

As soon as I'm on the street my direction was lead with her scent. My victim's. She was now calling for her mother, her heartbeats faster with every second. I approched her. She didn't notice me, being upset.
- Hello. – I said. She jumped surprised by my sudden apperance.
- H.... hello – she said weakly. Sobs cutting throught her words.
- Are you lost? – I asked in the most innocent voice.
- I c.. can't f..ind my mo...ther. – she started crying again.
- Well, how does you mother look? Maybe I have seen her. – the look in chiled's eyes was full of hope and she quicky stared to describe her mother. I didn't hear a word, didn't bother with trifle, I pictured the ways I will take her precious blood, how I will feel when her heart stops beating.
- Have you seen her? – girl's question brought me back to reality. I smiled, maybe a bit too cruel since the girl flinched.
- Yes, I have. – no one can resist my voice. – On the other side of the square. – the little girl smiled, she will soon to be renuited with her mother. I streched my hand out the her and she grabbed it eagrly. I led her through the square and into the small alley.
- Sir, but d... didn't you say.... my mother....
- Yes, I did. – I cut her off. - I saw her going into this alley. – Little girl didn't say a word after that but I could sense her fear showing up again. I will have to do this quick. Soon I saw a niche. The girl started to panic now so I grabbed her wrist, turned her around so I could cover her mouth to stop her from screaming. That happen in mere second. The girl didn't even realize how she found herself so restrained. I lifted her and hit her body hard on the wall of the niche. I could here the hit of her head on the wall. The girl was stunned and didn't put any strle when I barred my teeth. It was to late when she realized what was happening.
I couldn't wait to taste her blood. It rushed throught her veins in so delicious movement that I almost rushed through this hunt. I turned her head so I got a better look on her neck and beautiful veins under her skin. I lowered my head and slowley licked it. The taste....... oh, the taste so human, so intoxicating.
I couldn't wait any longer. The hunter needed his pray. I sinked my fangs in her throat. I felt her mouth move against my fingers in silenced scream. She was so small, I didn't realize it until now. Probably 9 or 10 years old. Just when they are the sweetest.
And her blood. Like the finest vine on this Earth. It made me drunk from her scent, taste. I wanted more, and more, and more.
I buried my fangs deeper in attempt to get more of that sweet wine. But her heart started to go slower and slower until it stopped. Too soon my feast ended. I let her body fell on the ground and went on the street. I didn't look back, she was just another collateral damage, which tasted so good. But I'm not done yet. Her blood made me crave for more.
The hunt has just started.

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| 14:14 | ...play with me... (5) |

petak, 29.06.2007.

To be lonely and content

Ovih dana sam u jako čudnom raspoloženju. Dobro, uvijek sam neka čudna, al ovo moje postojeće stanje je već postalo extremno. Živčana sam, ovaj ispit me ubija u pojam. Još ni jedan do sad mi nije tak teško pal, čak ni građansko. Ovo je doslovce postalo mučenje, i sad još čekat do srijede. Jedva čekam da ga se riješim. Bilo bi super kad bi ga prošla, al sumnjam. no samo ga si želim skinut s leđa, bar na kratko vrijeme. Tek tolko da pohvatam konce života koji mi uporno bježe.
Vjerujem da tom raspoloženju ne pridonosi ništa dobro ni moja obitelj. I na kraju je ispalo onak kak sam se pribojavala. odjednom se sad svi zderavaju na mene. očito sam opet za sve ja kriva.
oh da, i došli su majstori postavljat centralno. osim kaj nemam mira sad učit i kaj trebam bit po cijele dane na nogama, uspjeli su mi potpuno raspremještat sobu.
MOJU SOBU!!! Jedino mjesto gdje se osjećam slobodnom i gdje mogu nać mir.
Očito više ne mogu čak ni to.
Ovih dana sam stvarno, al stvarno jako čudna.
Jel greška u meni? Il se život jednostavno voli poigravat samnom?

Leave me be
all alone.
Don't try to help
It will do no good.
I want to be alone.
I want peace.
I want quiet.
Leave me be
just for a short while.


Buried at PhotoCasket.com

| 20:14 | ...play with me... (8) |

subota, 16.06.2007.

Dark Passion Play

Popis pjesama:

1. The Poet And The Pendulum
2. Bye Bye Beautiful
3. Amaranth
4. Cadence Of Her Last Breath
5. Master Passion Greed
6. Eva
7. Sahara
8. Whoever Brings The Night
9. For The Heart I Once Had
10. The Islander
11. Last Of The Wilds
12. 7 Days To The Wolves
13. Meadows Of Heaven

I cover albuma:

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Video pjesme 'While your lips are still red' sa Marcom, Tuomasom i Jukkom za film 'Lieksa'



While Your Lips Are Still Red


Sweet little words make the silence
Not so young, heartfelt love not heartache
Dark hair fall, catch in the wind
Light the way, the sight of a cold world

Kiss,
While your lips are still red
While he’s still in silent rest
While bosom is still untouched
Unveiled on another hair
While the hand’s still without a tool
Drown into eyes while they’re still blind
Love while the night still hides the withering dawn

First day of love never comes back
Compassion, its power’s never a wasted wrong
The violin, the poet’s hand
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care

Kad sam prvi put vidjela video ostala sam bez riječi. Ne znam zašto, vjerojatno kaj sam sva tak nabrijana s krivim osjećajima, al uspjela sam se rasplakat.
Joooj, kad će 9. mjesec.


Jeste vidjeli onaj gumbić 'Odjavi' kad pišete post? E, taj. nemojte ga kliknut.

| 22:36 | ...play with me... (8) |

utorak, 12.06.2007.

Always the wrong choice

Prošli tjedan bila sam stavljena pred jedan odvratan izbor, gdje kak god okreneš nije nikad i nikak dobro. Trebala sam odabrat između svoje obitelji. Tko mi je važniji, koga više volim. Odvratno. Bolno. I nemoguće. A morala sam. Jer nažalost drugog izbora nisam imala. Oni ili mi. Nema druge. S jedne strane tvoj vlastiti brat, s druge tvoji roditelji. Koji je izbor?
Imala sam osjećaj ko da se nalazim na raskrižju gdje ceste koje mi se nude obje su pokrivene trnjem i već predanim žrtvama, ali oni traže još. Traže moju žrtvu. Zazivaju moje ime. A srednjeg puta nema. Moj izbor. Moja sudbina.
Odabrala sam brata.
Zašto?
Nitko od njih, ni moj brat, ni šogorica, a pogotovo moj mali predivan nećak nisu mi napravili ništa nažao, barem ne namjerno. Ono što se desilo između moji roditelja i njih nije se desilo i meni. Neću se okrenut protiv nekoga zbog nečijih drugih problema. Pogotovo protiv vlastite obitelji.
A opet jesam.
Unatoč tome što su rekli da je u redu kaj idem na tu proslavu (nećakov prvi rođendan) svejedno sam se osjećala ko da ih izdajem.
I vidim koliko to boli i brata i moje roditelje, koliko zapravo ne žele da se sve to dešava, a ja ne mogu napravit ništa, ama baš ništa, osim biti publika tragediji moje vlastite obitelji.
Koji je izbor?
Izbora nema. Osim boli, sumnje i straha.
Obitelj je gdje se trebaš osjećat sigruno i voljeno. A ja osjećam sve osim toga.
Volim ih, sve bi dala za njih. Ali ovo tako jako boli.


Buried at PhotoCasket.com


Oh, da. I pala sam na ispitu. To je došlo kao šlag na tortu.

| 13:49 | ...play with me... (3) |

petak, 01.06.2007.

Eva

I tak izašao je novi singl on Nightwisha, koji sam, nažalost mogla skinut tek danas. Prvo mi se pokvaril ADSL al hvala Bogu nije tak jako strašno (mrzim, prezirem gromove i oluje, j..... ti takvo vrijeme) i drugo došla sam do granice kolko smijem skidat s neta, tak da mi je bilo zabranjeno ić na Net (moja vlastita zabrana, jer neću stić skinut svega za cijeli gigabajt, a neda mi se prekoračit granicu za par megabajta) i tak eto skinula sam ga danas.
I kaj da vam velim.....
Falit će mi Tarja, jako, jer imala je predivan glas (Bože, kaj ona sve nije mogla otpjevat), al nova pjevačica Anette Olzon osim kaj je slatka, ima također predivan glas a pjesma je preslatka, laganica i ne znam kad sam je čula ispunil me taj osjećaj želje koje se nikada neće ispunit. Obožavam takve pjesme koje u meni probude tak duboke osjećaje, možda i zato volim Nightwish jer uvijek al uvijek kad ih slušam nevažno koliko puta čula te pjesme uvijek me dočekaju novi osjećaji i jedva čekam kad ću čut ostale stvari. joooj, tko će čekat deveti mjesec do novog albuma. a pošto ne znam stavljam glazbu na blog (barem za sad) stavila sam vam riječi pjesme. koje (opet) predivna, tako jednostavna a tako složena.



6:30 winter morn
Snow keeps falling, silent dawn
A rose by any other name
Eva leaves her Swanbrook home
A kindest heart which always made
Me ashamed of my own
She walks alone but not without her name

Eva flies away
Dreams the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's no friend to call her name
Eva sails away
Dreams the world far away
The Good in her will be my sunflower field

Mocked by man to depths of shame
Little girl with life ahead
For a memory of one kind word
She would stay among the beasts
Time for one more daring dream
Before her escape, edenbeam
We kill with her own loving heart

Eva flies away
Dreams the world far away
In this cruel children's game
There's no friend to call her name
Eva sails away
Dreams the world far away
The Good in her will be my sunflower field


| 00:28 | ...play with me... (11) |

subota, 19.05.2007.

Is the nightmare over?

I tak jučer je bil je petak, po svemu sudeći očito zadnji dan moje toliko prezrene prakse. cijeli ovaj tjedan sam pakirala obrasce u kuverte (jaaaaako zanimljiv posao) kod kojeg već nakon nekog vremena prebacite se na mehaničko kretanje ne koristeći mozak. uzmi kovretu, uzmi obrazac, presavi obrazac, stavi ga u kuvertu, zatvori kuvertu i opet ispočetka. tak cijeli prošli tjedan. jaaaako zabavno.
I tak jučer su nam rekli (jer više ljudi je radilo na tome, pošto se radilo o oko 5000 pošiljaka) da nas neće trebat sljedeći tjedan, i tak znači da zadnji tjedan prakse ću bit doma, što mi zapravo neće proć u odmaranju već učenju radnog prava (još zabavnije) ali da će nas trebat tjedan poslije, tj. da ćemo mi koji smo radili na pakiranju radit i na primanju i razvrstavanju pošiljaka kad se obracsi vrate ispunjeni ili ne, što znači da ako će me trebat da će mi to bit plaćeno jer službeno meni je praksa zavrišla. možda ipak nekaj ispadne dobro.
Na stranu sve kaj se desilo, ljudi s kojima sam radila su stvarno dobri i pomoći će ti na svakom koraku. Zapravo mislim da nikad još nisam srela ljude koji nevažno kolko puta postavila neko pitanje neće se razljutit na tebe već će ti lijepo odgovorit i objasnit. A očito sam i ja nekaj dobro radila kad žele da ostanem i nakon prakse.
no vidjet ćemo kaj će ispast iz svega toga...


Inače jel jako čudno ak osoba (dobro budimo točniji, ja) želim bit sama, zapravo želim samoću. Mislim da nije. Ja inače jako volim.... ne bi baš rekla mir i tišinu (jer toga nikad nemam) al određenu dozu mirnoće i jednostavno želje da me nitko ne smeta. Zato sam i primijetila kolko me počelo smetat kad netko (većinom susjedi, zapravo njihove kćeri – Bože, nekad mislim da su to mala vrišteća čudovišta stvorena samo da histerično vrište ispod mog balkona)pa čak nekad i moji doma, razbiju taj moj mali mjehurić samoće. Al ono kaj me najviše ljuti i kaj mrzim jest kad drugima na lijep način pokušavam reć da me ostave na miru, da jednostavno trebam mir, al uporno i dalje nastavlja sa uništavanjem onog što bi moglo bit dobro.... nemojte me krivo shvatiti ja volim razgovarat s ljudima (točnije ljudima koji me razumiju, znači frendice) i volim provoditi vrijeme s ljudima koje volim, ali i to ima svoje granice.
Stoga mi nije jasno što, o ćemu, dovraga, ima se razgovarat svaki dan, svaki vražji dan.
I na kraju dođe do toga da jednostavno trebam na grubi i odvratan način nekome dat do znanja da je dosta, neka me ostavi na miru, bar na jedan, jedini dan. Mrzim kad se moram ponašat ko gadura jer to nisam, nit ću ikad bit. A toliko sam već puta morala navuč to toliko prezreno lice samo da sačuvam mali dio sebe koji je samo moj i u koji nitko, baš nitko nema prava ulazit.

Update

I tak danas mi je službeno završila praksa. I vjerovali ili ne, bilo mi žao kaj odlazim. Jer kao što sam već prije napisala žene su stvarno bile super prema meni, al ono kaj me neizmjerno iznenadilo, i to ugodno jest kad sam odlazila dobila sam poklon (zdjelica u obliku srca, puna griotta). Mislim da mi je ta gesta i kad su mi rekli da sam im stvarno pomogla i da se nadaju da ću doć (u vezi onih pošiljaka, još se niš ne zna) tj. da ćemo se još vidjet. I tak to je dovelo do toga da mi je stvarno žao kaj odlazim. Jer ipak dobila sam jedno novo iskustvo, upoznala sam nove ljude i je sve završilo jako dobro i dobila sam jednu ugodnu uspomenu.



Buried at PhotoCasket.com

| 12:00 | ...play with me... (3) |

nedjelja, 06.05.2007.

Uneasy Listening Vol. 2 and elder-tree

I prize the Lord and every saint for allowing humans to invent something so unbelievable as Internet. God, I love Internet.
As you know Uneasy Listening Vol. 2 is out, but I can't buy it. Money problems. (I won't start on that one, oh, my practice of which I already had written, well it won't be paid, after all, so I'm working for 3 months for.... NOTHING!!!!! But I said I won't start so I'm stopping here.) And I doubted that it's already on Internet, but after I talked with my friend I decided to try my luck. Well, for once luck was on my side. I love Full Album Download. So I downloaded it. And. Oh, M Y G O D !!!!!!!!! let's repeat this. O, M O J B O Ž E !!!!!

Some of the songs are more intense then the original, and I liked, no...... I loved it. 'The begginning of the End', I couldn't believe my ears. 'Again', 'Soul on fire'. What am I saying. THE WHOLE ALBUM IS.... The words don't exit to describe what I felt while I was listening the songs. Unbelievengly wonderful fullness in my head. Does this have any sense?
You just have to hear for yourselves. Trust me, you'll enjoy.
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Danas smo mama i ja odlučile ič brat bazgu (njen cvijet). I tak lijepo sjednemo mi u auto (ne, nisam ja vozila, ja ne vozim) već moj tata. i tak odpeljali smo se do Jagendine (tam su pretežno njive). Nemrem vam opisat mir koji sam osjećala kad smo došli tam. Priroda. Miris drveća i pjev ptica. Iako i kod mene pjevaju ptičice (ima jedna noćna koja tak predivno pjeva, savršena uspavanka) al ovo je bilo nekaj posebno. već duže vrijeme sam željela tak otić nekam. Jednostavno sjest na bicikl i otić u prirodu, i provest tak cijeli dan. Ležeći na travi, udišući svjež zrak, osjećati kak mi sunce miluje lice, pjev ptičica. Ali... Tata mi je uspio uništit bicikl a drugi nemam pa eto od moje namjere neće bit niš. No da se ja vratim na današnji dan. I tak beremo mi bazgu (koja predivno miriši, usput) kad odjednom počne kukavica kukat. Bilo je tak fora. Šum rijeke, zelenilo, ivančice oko mene, miris bazge, crvrčci i kukanje kukavice. osjećala sam tak..... mirnom. Ko da pripadam tam. Jednostavno nevjerojatan osjećaj.
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| 18:06 | ...play with me... (2) |

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