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< travanj, 2009 >
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Strange feelings in my mind...

Vaša Mrtva Spisateljica...
Ime:+Anamarija+
Nick:+Malena+
Datum rođenja:+19.7.1993+
Volim:+emocore+gothic stil+crnu,ljubičastu i bloody boju+mjesečinu+krv+paranormalne stvari+psihologiju+medicinu+
Hobi:+Pisanje+psihologija+
Uzor:+E.A.Poe+Anne Rice+
Škola:+SŠ Viktorovac Sisak+
Smjer:+Medicinska sestra+

My angel...






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Emo Quotes <3

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you
Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see The pain someone feels
Whats the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away?
Every night i talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you tho.. far away and never replies to my questions
Why do people tell you to believe in what you want to but then tell you not to believe in the one true thing you do believe in?
Times a precious thing to waste, but friends are more precious
Kiss me im emo!
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.

Slike...<3/Emo poetry(www.emo-corner.com)/Gothic Poems

Our Love
Loves memory has traced our outline in this place.
But will the spider remember, or the sun?
Did the water capture our faces in permanence?
Does the wind create us anew as it blows?
Did the shadows from the trees record our passage beneath them?
Our secret been revealed.
Yet I have told no other.
I write these words in silence, in mute testimony
To what once was.
But our image remains alive in this place.
It can not be removed.
You, me,
We then,
Were here.
We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow.
We caught a brief glimpse of love's promise.
We were not liars,
But thieves of time.
For now time has now forgotten us,
Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers
This place that was ours.


Falling Away
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity

Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone

Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed
our bodies to become
another pair of hollow shadows
that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying


Your Lies
Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off s(rewing her
My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me
When I go to leave
You tell me I'm your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me
But you'll never let me go
I know that you don't love me
I know I'm just for show

I don't know If I can stand
To see you love another girl
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side
I'll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together


Autumn Times
Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall...

Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Icons


GOTHIC QUOTES <3<3<3

"what is it about the moonlight that draws my spirit in? The seduction? The stygian agony? I would give up my silber visions to know."
--------
"The agony in my eyes mirrors the moon light of my flawed soul"
--------
"Whay are my eyes so exquisite with poetry? And why do I no longer care?"
--------
"There is much darkness to be found in shadows.But you may need to sacrifice your silver mind to find it..."
--------
"The graveyards in my mind mirror the blood of my unliving purpose"
--------
"Why are my fears do tortured with solitude?And why do I no longer care?"
--------
"The graveyards in my existence mirror the moonlight of my obtenebrated solitude"
--------
"Why do we love death and the blood? My dear, you need only look into your own pain-filled soul to fine out"

GOTHIC POEMS

The Vampire

A man in dark from the east
prowels the night for blood to feast
he walks the streets from dusk till dawn
and doesnt even pass a yawn

this man is pale as though hes dead
his body cold from toe to head
his canines long and pearly white
he gives his victims no time to fight

a man came knocking on his door
he came at night to implore
he came and answers tried to find
he tried to unravel the creatures mind


he saw a coffin upon the floor
and found him self pinned to the door
he bared his neck and drank and drank
until to his knees the man had sank

their he knelt begging mercy please
and his clothes the vampire seized
he dragged him up upon his feet
and to his maker went to meet

I NEED NOT A REASON

The sky was filled with blood tonight
No wind a-blew
No smoke a-rose
But somewhere it seemed, d’it not seem right
Far below in nether
Across the seas a-feather
My life in thine
Mine heart in hand
A-top a raging storm a-stage
Sweet words flow from honey mouth
‘Tis not how they see me or hear
How dare thee speak when light doth shine
The light, it dote your saddened soul
A deciding decision in thine vast nothingness
How can one breathe when you are full of it?
Nothingness is, last of all
Only place to be filled or felt to rot
A hole in thine soul
It aches to desperation
But be three true
And stay thee noble
Fare not far, but search carefully
With a still learning heart
Thine spirit hath no where to turn but lust
A lust for love, is no love at all
But merely a pawn to castle in game
Then thee who nighly see
The truth of the dreams
What would one be
If one could not ponder
Unable to release a death-rising screech?

Black light in darkness

Sitting in darkness, around me just fear
You left me behind, you are not here.
I am full of questions that are making me insane
Maybe you can hear me, but I still feel just pain...

A black light is all that I can see
Just want it to stop, don't want it to be
I'm telling to myself- this can't be real
Is it my life that you had to steal?

And now I know that you played with me
Now I feel it, now I see
The shit that I went through because of you
You played with me and I had no clue

Black light shine on me...
Black light be here with me...
Black light take him away...
Black light stay...

DARK BLOOD BEAUTIES

In your hands,
We form the bonds
Together we shall die
No one can even lie

Fallen beauties of eden
Never even forgotten
But not begotten
In the eyes rotten

We shall be together
It shall be forever
No one will bother
Our love will gather

In the shadow
We shall wallow
In the high and low
Not even tomorrow

The end of light
We shall fight
With you my might
We shall have height

We never bend
We shall make amend
Gaia we shall tend
Till the end

PAIN
Pain is
hidden.
Not something
i share
with the
world.

It made
me what i am
today.

selfconcious.
scared.
hurt.
tears.

i cant be
me because
of the pain.

i want to
be free.
every thing
that happens
justs adds
another hole
to my already
damaged heart.

my pain is
like acid
its burns.

its toxic.
bottled
up and
stored to
keep everyone
from seeing
its true power.

im full of
toxic waste.
it runs through
my veins.
my heart.
my mind.
leaving a
mark where ever
it goes.

always stored.
my pain.
never shown.
kept to myself.

no one knows
the real me.
The me that
hurts inside.
they all think
im happy.
they will never
know the truth.

im hurt.
and ill say it.
but no one
can feel my
pain.
it belongs to
me.
it created
me.

Pain is who i am.

Nightmare

Its half past midnight
So dark except for the moon light
Walking through ‘can see graves afar
Looking up ‘can perceive the nebula neath a star

The air’s filled with a horrible atmosphere
Isolation and fear possesses the earth’s sphere
The vegetation’s dominated by deadly arbour
All these I perceive at this witching hour of horror.

As I proceed, the air gets hazy
Sense a creature afar and I get pacy
I took a close look
Not long how long it took.

Hear the sound of nocturnal creepers
Totter left ‘n’ right, a thorny branch hooked my zippers
Like unleashing the contents of Pandora’s Box
Behold I perceive a ferocious fox.

Think I see this creature again
A chimera, I try to make the best bargain
Run eastward as fast as I can
Seems to catch ‘spite the pace I ran.

I run southward which seems an advantage
Must escape this barbarous savage
But then in sight I see a creeping creature
Out of a graveyard I assumed a pasture.

Then I’m attacked by this ferocious beast
I surrender myself a wholesome feast
Look downwards and I see nothing but doom
Ah! It was a dream I heaved as I woke in my room.

IN YOUR ARMS

Hold me, my love,
Just one more,
Just to feel again your warm touch
Kiss me, again, my love
I want to taste your soft lips, again
Bite me,
I want to taste your sweet blood
Just one more,
Embrace me, again
‘cause in your arms I feel so safe
my angel, stay with me tonight
don’t leave me alone
share with me with this beautiful night,
oh my dear love, even words can’t describe how beautiful you are
when I am looking into your eyes, I see peace and joy
from that moment I know that you are my true love
oh, my love, how beautiful you are
after all this years I have lived I have never seen someone who had good heart
in your arms I feel safety and warm
when you embrace me I feel like I am in the heaven with you

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Bezimene kosti
nedjelja, 26.04.2009.

Od ljubavi poginule
Ove bezimene kosti jesu...
I ovo otpalo meso i koža,
Nekada su ruke pružale njemu...
Noćima žudili da priviju se na njegova kamena prsa,
Tražeći toplinu i sigurno oči sklopiti...
A sada hrana su
Strvinarima iz njenog svijeta...

Bijaše voljene
Ove osamljene bezimene kosti...
A sada ih nagriza hladnoća
I ove crne zemlje mir...
No ove oči više govoriti neće...
Ni ove uši više gledati neće...
Ni ove usne više neće slušati...

I na nebu i u slatkom grobu,
Rastrgane počivaju one...
Gdje razdvaja se duh i tijelo,
One uplakane bivaju...
Više njemu ne pripadaju...
Njegove više nijesu...

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Never good enough...
petak, 10.04.2009.

Return to me my heart,return to me my sanity...But break my heart before you give it back to my hands...To my dark chest...Return to me my kisses and my warm arms...Dunno why I fear so much,I just can't understand...Why you couldn't fear me?Be afraid of me?Go away,my love...You must me so sick and tired,aren't you?...I don't wanna forget how it feels without lithium...Without you,my only one...But I wanna remember every second,every your heartbeat...every smile and change of your eyecolor...I wanna remember that few snowflakes in your blonde hair...It means a lot to me...Dunno why I love it so much...Dunno why I love the smell of your jacket...Dunno why I love the sweetness of your blood...I love every color of your eyes...Grey...Dark green...the color of frozen grass...leaves with the frost...dark deep ocean...I love the way you laugh...I keep your photograph,and it serves me well...I imagine like you are here every hour when I sleep...Like a perfect illusion behind my back,arms wrapped around my waist...
Heh...Mojih čitatelja nema baš mnogo od kako sam malo rijeđe ovdje...Nisam mogla javit se prije...Bila sam dosta prazna i bezlična,kao duh...Nitko me nije primjećivao...Taman kada sam iščekivala dan kada ću ponovno biti u zagrljaju svog voljenog,dogodio se preokret u mom životu.Čisti kolaps...Kolaps i mrak u cijelom mom svijetu.Samo mi se zacrnilo pred očima i vidjela sam kako padam...a on me nije uhvatio...Heh...Kako da se ustanem?Kako da se rodim poput feniksa iz svog vlastitog uništenja ako on ne želi skupiti moj pepeo u hrpu kako bih bila cijela?Htio me štititi,inzistirao je na tome,a kada sam mu to dopustila,samo se okrenuo i otišao iz moje stvarnosti i postao čisti prekrasni san iz kojeg se sinoć nisam željela probuditi.
Zar je logično ostaviti voljenu osobu samu kada joj najviše trebaš,koliko god ti slomljen bio?
Zar je teško pružiti samo iskren zagrljaj i ispuniti obećanje?
„Neću dati da ti itko više naudi...Plakat ćeš samo suze radosnice jer ja neću dopustiti da ti se išta loše dogodi...Volim te,iako te ne poznajem dugo...“
Zar je to logično prekršiti?Onda ja nisam logična...Nisam povukla svoje riječi...
Rekla sam mu svaku sitnicu koju sam iz svog srca mogla opisati...Da je prekrasan...Jedinstven...Da volim kada pogleda u nebo,osmjehne se suncu i počne hodati unatraške...Da volim njegov djetinjasti poriv za sladoledom i gađenje prema rum pločicama koje ja obožavam...Da volim njegove oči koje mjenjaju boju prema vremenu i raspoloženju...Najviše volim kada poprime boju tirkiza i safira...Kao da je on zaista moj ocean i moja uzburkana površina...Ono nešto djetinjasto što sam davno bila prisiljena odbaciti...Moja inspiracija za novele i za roman koji sada pišem...Moj kraljević,dio moje još neistražene prošlosti,mog prošlog života...Nešto što je rođeno da bi bilo dio mene i dio sveg svijeta kojeg veseli samo jedan njegov osmjeh ili treptaj njegovog oka...Tek nestašno skakutanje po cesti,poštapalica „vamo-tamo“ i njegova savršena sjena između jagodica i donje čeljusti koja daje njegovom licu nešto zanosno i strastveno,što uzburka ono nešto u meni i navire krv u moje usne.Ta besmrtna ljepota koja pršti izvana i iznutra...Nešto što me iznova fascinira i zasljepljuje.Kao Edward Cullen u životu običnih smrtnika.Ne mogu opisati ovo što osjećam,jer to samo Ratko može razumjeti...On zna zašto sve ovo pišem iako mu nisam ni rekla da će ovaj post ikada biti objavljen.Nisam željela ispasti slaba pred Saphirom...
Ali sada mi nije stalo...Nije mi stalo ni koliko puta sam mu sve ovo ponovila...Želim da svi znaju...Da svi osjete...
(U redu,sada sam malo previše skrenula s teme...Dobivši njegovu fotku od svoje bestice,zaslijeplila sam samu sebe...Oči su mu na fotki opet safirne...Prekrasne i duboke...No,dosta sad...huh...)
Darkmana i mene su dijelili kilometri,a Saphiro je praktički dva koraka od mene svakog dana,ali nikad se ne vidimo.Nekad ga izbjegnem...Moji frendovi su vidjeli to.Osobito onog dana kada sam ga ugledala ispred sebe i prestravljeno šmugnula u trgovinu.Tina ga je željela zaustaviti i reći mu da sam ovdje,da me uhvati i da priča samnom,ali zaustavila se na vrijeme...Prošao je ležerno,kao i uvijek,sa onim prekrasnim sjajem u očima...Zahvalna sam joj na tome jer nisam bila u stanju govoriti kada sam izašla iz trgovine.Samo sam praznog pogleda gledala iza sebe...Gledala sam ga kako odlazi i poželjela da ovaj grč u grlu nestane i da se sjetim kako udahnuti.U mislima mi je preletjelo njegovo lice i poželjela sam da izblijedi iz moje glave,a zapravo bi za njega bilo najbolje da izblijedim JA.Ja sam ta zbog koje mora prolaziti kroz nešto što ga uopće ne zanima i što ne želi.Ali slučajnosti ne postoje...Kad tad bi on postao dio mog života,nešto naizbrisivo poput Endymiona kojeg još uvijek viđam na Zelenjaku...No ipak,za Saphira bih dala sve,čak i ono što me zadnje drži na ovome svijetu...Moj život...Tko zna na što ovom rečenicom mislim,biti će više upućen u priču...
Zar nije jadno to što je prekršio obećanje?Zar nije jadno od mene što sam zagrizla?Zar je to LOGIČNO?Draga moja prijateljice,rekla si mi za Pernara „Ti si samo fkt zagrlizla,ja nisam...ti razmišljaš srcem,a ja razumom...zato i padneš na budale“.Well,ja Saphira ne bih nikad smatrala budalom.Dapače,on je vrlo inteligentno biće...Da,biće...Ne čovjek,nego biće...S ovom rečenicom želim posebno njega razljutiti jer zna o čemu govorim...Možda mu se gadi ono što sam mu rekla,ali time mu se gadim i ja,djevojka koju je usrećio na četiri sata,a onda se posve zatvorio prema njoj...Djevojka kojoj je rekao „Volim te“ a nije tako mislio...
Zar je LOGIČNO reći ono što ne misliš,a da se radi o riječima poput „volim te“?LOGIKA koju ću cijelo vrijeme nabijati na nos ne postoji.Barem ne u mom svijetu.Možda previše „dramatiziram“...Možda sam previše „posesivna“...Možda previše pričam,a malo radim...Kako da išta napravim kada ne mogu...Nikada mi nije dao da mu pokažem koliko mi znači,a ja nisam mogla...Bojala sam se da mu ne naudim,a to se upravo dogodilo.Pitala sam ga,“Znaš li da ti moja ljubav može mnogo dati,ali i mnogo nauditi?“...Bio je svjestan svega,no ipak mi je odbio pomoći.Padala sam,a on je samo gledao kao da ga nije briga.A ja bih samu sebe pustila da padnem samo da bi njega podignula gore...Zar je to moje ponašanje LOGIČNO ili je to samo kemija u mozgu...?
Žao mi je što nisam uvijek sretna...
Žao mi je što ti ne mogu pokazati koliko mi značiš...
Žao mi je što sam ti dopustila da vladaš mojim umom...
Žao mi je što te želim zaštititi...
Žao mi je što sam ovdje kada me trebaš,a nikad naglas ne tražim tebe da dođeš kada ne mogu dalje...
Žao mi je što nisi popio dovoljno da mi kažeš da me voliš...
Žao mi je što si crystal...
Žao mi je što nisi samo meni dragocjen...
Žao mi je što ću dati sebe da te „oni“ ne bi taknuli...
Žao mi je što sam te voljela...
Žao mi je što te još uvijek volim...

Zar je LOGIČNO tražiti oprost za ovo što sam navela?Zar je LOGIČNO tražiti oprost za pjesmu i novelu koju sam za njega napisala?Logika...bwah...To kod mene ne postoji...
Zar je LOGIČNO da radije ne osjećaš ništa nego bilo šta?Ja ću radije patiti nego da me ništavilo proguta...Zar je LOGIČNO mjenjati se za 180° zato što netko ne može dati samo jedan iskreni zagrljaj kada plačeš i zato što ne može podnjeti da si i ti nekad na rubu?Ne...VOLI ME OVAKVU KAKVA JESAM ILI ME NE VOLI UOPĆE...To pravilo je oduvijek kod mene vrijedilo.Draga prijateljice,znam da si mi samo htjela pomoći,ali ni za jednog dečka ja ne želim izgubiti pravu sebe...Mističnu,čudnu i jaku sebe koja drži mnogo osoba na svojim ramenima.Nicole mi je rekla da ako Saphira dovoljno ojačam da će on štititi mene,a ne ja njega.NE ŽELIM.Ne sada...Imao je priliku zaštititi me...Samo da se sakrijem u njegovom zagrljaju...Udahnem miris duxe koji pamtim od one subote kada sam nakon dugo vremena imala iskreni osmjeh na licu.To bi me štitilo od svake crne magije koja mi sada ne da mira...Nevermind,my only one...Nevermind...
Gledam tu prokletu fotografiju i tražim manu koju bih mogla pretvoriti u mržnju...Ali nema je..Proklete motherfucking mane NEMA.Je li to LOGIČNO?Zar je logično da se baš ni jedne mane ne mogu sjetiti?To nije kemija u mozgu...To ne može biti to...Isklesan iz samog bijelog mramora...Oči poput oceana...Usne pune i savršenog oblika...Sjena između jagodica i donje čeljusti koja me tako opčinjava...Pokušavam biti oštra,ali ne mogu...Prije nekoliko minuta sam to rekla i tebi,prijateljice...Rekla sam ti da se ovo ne odnosi na tebe...I ne odnosi se...Ali pišem tebi...
I sada,kad sam prazna,više nemam riječi koje bi stale na ovaj unos posta...Da nastavim pisati,cijeli blog ne bi bio dovoljan...zašto pisati kada se sve to već zna...Ionako nisam u stanju povrijediti ga ovim postom dovoljno da mi kaže da me mrzi i ode od mene...Dio mene smatra da bi to bilo najbolje za njega,a dio mene žudi za njegovom blizinom i ne pušta ga...Znam da s njim odlaziš i ti...A i dva komadića moje ionako rastrgane duše,ako je uopće više imam...
Nadam se da ti se novela svidjela,draga moja...Nadam se da si vidjela u njoj ono što on nije...Volim te najviše,prijateljice...Ali to već znaš,zar ne Lucy?Ako ti voliš mene,ne pokušavaj mi pomoći...Rekla sam ti zašto...Don't try to fix me...I'm not broken...I don't want it...I still love him...Someday,I will fix it on my own...Not yet...

Znate li kraj Final Fantasy(mislim da je FF2,nisam sigurna...) kada nemate dovoljni postotak...I onaj susret Yune i Tidusa,kada ona potrči da ga zagrli,a samo prođe kroz njega...
Eh...

Yuna je izgubila Tidusa...

Kraj priče

The End

Fin

Mood:Pissed off y muy triste

Song:Taylor Swift-Love Story(obavezno pogledajte spot...Osobito ti,Lucy...Isti je kao i novela...)
James Morrison feat.Nell Furtado-Broken Strings <3<3<3



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