For my dreams I hold my life

Ne mogu te pustiti...

Bio je kraj ljeta. Predvecerje. Sjedila je na plazi. Na onoj istoj plazi na kojoj je ovo ljeto dozivjela mnoge sretne trenutke... danju je trcala za njim po plazi, gurala mu glavu pod vodu, predbacivala mu svoj bolji skok na bombu sa stijene... navecer su setali plazom i drzali se za ruke. pa bi sjeli na najvisu stijenu, a ona bi naslonila glavu na njegovo rame.. ili bi ga cvrsto zagrlila. u svakom njegovom zagrljaju osjecala je ljubav. bilo joj je tako lijepo s njim.. ali sad je sve to gotovo. prije tjedan dana pojavila se njegova bivsa koja ga je prije neka 4 mjeseca ostavila jer joj je dosadila veza. iako je sam sebe uvjeravao da mu vise nije stalo do nje, kad se ponovo pojavila u njegovom zivotu shvatio je da mu je i dalje stalo do nje... i jedne veceri zavrsili su skupa...
iduceg dana morao je reci svojoj curi da je gotovo jer da jos uvijek voli svoju bivsu. svakom njegovom rijeci njoj se srce paralo. suze su same pocele teci, jednostavno ih nije mogla zadrzati. na kraju ju je samo poljubio i rekao joj: ti si dobra cura, zasluzujes nekog boljeg od mene. vjerujem da ces ga naci i da ce te on znati voljeti onako kako ja nisam mogao. ostala je sama u suzama, slomljenog srca. toliko ga je voljela... bili su zajedno 3 mjeseca, 3 najljepsa mjeseca u njenom zivotu... sad kad je znala da je sve gotovo, mogla je samo plakati. i prisjecati se svih lijepih trenutaka... prisjecala se onog dana kad joj je kupio crvenu ruzu... cijeli zivot je o tome sanjala, da joj decko kupi crvenu ruzu. pa se prisjecala onog dana kad se uzasno posvadjala s mamom, a on ju je tjesio i govorio joj da ce sve biti u redu. sjecala se onog dana kad mu je otkrila svoju najbolniju tajnu. kad mu je rekla da je prije godinu i pol izgubila najbolju frendicu... ubio ju je neki ludak kojeg ni dan danas nisu pronasli... rekla mu je da je to jedini razlog zbog kojeg je dosla zivjeti u novi grad... nije mogao vjerovati da joj se tako nesto dogodilo. zajedno su plakali... sjecala se svega. svih zajednickih trenutaka. cak i one subote kad su se zajedno napili do te mjere da se iduceg dana nisu gotovo niceg sjecali.
to je sve sto joj je sad ostalo... sjecanja i samo sjecanja. sjecanje na njihov prvi poljubac. na to kako ih je zajednicka frendica spojila... jednostavno ih je upoznala i rekla im da bi bili savrsen par. nakon tjedan dana su prohodali na opce iznenadjenje.
no sad je to sve samo proslost... ostala su joj lijepa sjecanja i bezbroj pitanja na koje nema odgovora. zasto je ona bolja od mene? zar je stvarno ljepsa od mene? gdje sam pogrijesila? zasto ga nisam uspjela usreciti?
Krenula je laganim korakom s plaze i dalje mislima tamo negdje daleko gdje je bila sretna s njim. hodajuci tako ugleda tu poznatu siluetu kako joj se priblizava. podigla je pogled i pogledala ga u oci. suznim ocima kao da mu je govorila: idiote jedan, zar nisi svjestan koliko si me povrijedio? zar ne shvacas koliko te volim? zar ti stvarno nikad nije bilo stalo do mene? zar je sve to bila samo laz?
no ta pitanja nikad nece biti izgovorena. bar ne njemu. nece stici do njegovih usiju... izgubit ce se u tami...
pogledala ga je i nije mu nista rekla. krenuo je da ce nesto reci, ali rijeci nisu izlazile iz njegovih usta. nastavila je hodati. osvrnula se samo jednom. nije gledao za njom. nije posao za njom. otisao je drugoj koja ga nikad nece moci voljeti onako kako ga je ona voljela...

mala napomena: prica nema nikakve veze sa mnom, jednostavno mi je dosla inspiracija da napisem...
nisam vas bas komentirala u zadnje vrijeme, jednostavno mi se ne da ukljucivat komp, pa sam se ulijenila... pokusat cu nadoknadit.. pozz svima

14.09.2006. u 14:31 | K | 33 | P | # | ^

Hell is the place on earth

da... od danas pa do 21.6.2007. postoji pakao na zemlji..skola!!!!!! oni ludjaci u ministarstvu nisu normalni, oni nas imaju namjeru drzat u skoli do 21.6.!! sta misle da cemo ako nas maltretiraju tjedan dana duze bit bolje obrazovani? ocemo kurac! sutra me vec ceka moj najdrazi predmet - latinski. jos samo ova godina i nikad vise... dobro, imam marijanu pored sebe, njoj to ide, ali svejedno, za ispite cu morat ucit, a znam da kurca necu kuzit.. a ma. vidjela sam cijeli svoj dragi razred, bila sam tako neizmjerno sretna zbog toga, hahahah neki me nisu htjeli ni pozdravit, ali ne zamjeram im, hahah
uglavnom, osjecam se ko da me 25 ljudi posevilo tijekom vikenda (a nije nitko, bez brige). spava mi se... danas dodem ja u skolu, svi sretni i veseli, a ja ko da su mi sve ladje potonule (nisu jos sve). svi su se lijepo odmorili, naspavali, zabavili dok su subotom navecer listali knjigu iz biologije i svi su bili neki poletni... da, imamo novu ucenicu u razredu...znam je ali je ne poznam..
u subotu sam bila na festi u Cepicu. bilo je sasvim ok. zaradila sam 16 kn frendice su mi rekle da cu dobit 16 kn ako legnem na sred glavne ceste, a kako auti tamo prolaze svake prijestupne, meni nije bio problem. inace, u cepic sam dosla tek oko 11 sati, a trebala sam kao prije 7 i pol. mislim, bila sam oko 8 i pol, na nekih pol sata... ma prekomplicirano... zenske su igrale nogomet, igrala je moja frendica, ja je naravno nisam gledala... sve u svemu bilo je ok, samo su svi bili u nekom izjebanom raspolozenju. malo suze, malo smijeh...pa malo depresija, malo alkohol... i tako dalje... sve ih je lovilo. ja sam bila ok, samo mi se uzasno spavalo. stara je dosla po mene u 3, do onda su me svi vec bili napustili, sve frendice su vec otisle doma, frend mi se negdje opijao, trebao je doc, ali naravno nije... i tako, sa mnom je cekao neki tip iz potpicna, da nije bilo njega vjerojatno bih bila zaspala, pa bi moja stara morala izac iz auta i dovuc me u auto. isla sam spavat u 4 i u 7 i pol mene probudi poruka. frend mi je rekao da je tek sad dosao doma i da ce me zvat kad cemo ic na kupanje. i u 7 i pol on meni u poruci napise laku noc. a sunce vec visoko... onda sam nekako uspjela zaspat opet, ali sam se budila svakih sat vremena... popodne sam bila na kupanju, pokusavala sam spavat, ali me mravi nisu pustali, pa mi je bilo zima... na kraju sam spavala nekih pol sata otprilike i nakon toga sam se osjecala deset puta gore nego prije..
i sad bas kad mi je ljeto pocelo, kad su mi izlasci postali dobri, pocinje skola... a jebiga, tako obicno bude. najbolje je na kraju ljeta.. cijelo ljeto mi je otislo u kurac s krivim drustvom i sad kad nadem ''normalne'' ljude, pocne skola.. i sad negdje do 10.mjeseca nemam kamo izlazit...a cu prezivjet nekako.
ajde, ljudi, pozdravljam vas, uzivajte jos malo dok ne pocnu psihicka maltretiranja u paklu... idem ja sad spavat... Laku noc (a noci nigdje)

04.09.2006. u 10:27 | K | 17 | P | # | ^

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Opis bloga

Bas moram pisati taj opis bloga? Dobro, pa... Blog ce, buduci da ga ne pise nitko pametan, biti pun gluposti, mozda mi izleti koja pametna, ali tesko...

jedna od meni najdrazih:

Sleeping Sun

The sun is sleeping quietly
Once upon a century
Wistful oceans calm and red
Ardent caresses laid to rest

For my dreams I hold my life
For wishes I behold my night
The truth at the end of time
Losing faith makes a crime

I wish for this night-time
to last for a lifetime
The darkness around me
Shores of a solar sea
Oh how I wish to go down with the sun
Sleeping
Weeping
With you

Sorrow has a human heart
From my god it will depart
I'd sail before a thousand moons
Never finding where to go

Two hundred twenty-two days of light
Will be desired by a night
A moment for the poet's play
Until there's nothing left to say

I wish for this night-time...

I wish for this night-time...









brojac od 10.6.2006.



MOJ BIJELI LABUDE

I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me

I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me

Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
hmmm, moj bijeli labude

I briga me sto nisi mjesec,
a ni sunce, briga me
al' neces moci preko
blatne kaljuze
cista stic' do moje postelje

Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke

Ref. 2x
Moj bijeli labude
kad me jednom ne bude
sve ce vode, labude
da se razbistre

I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me

I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me

Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke

Ref. 4x






Ja sam samo jedna luda romanticna dusa kojoj nema spasa... sanjar do boli... ako se ikad promijenim, znaci da mi se nesto gadno desilo... jer nisam osoba koja je sposobna nosit masku...






White Night Fantasy

Enchantress came to me and said:
Meet me at the lake tonight

I hummed this song to the white
Through the shroud of snow I saw
Paradise
Peace
No more lies

Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings

I dream of wolves with them I run
For me she lengthened the night
I am home
I am in peace

Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings




Molim vas, pomozite Zeki!!!
(__/)
(O.o)
(> < )
Ovo je Gothik - Sado Mazo - Zeko. Kopirajte ga na svoj blog i tako mu pomognite na njegovom putu do World Domination!!!

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Broken Crystal Doll
honorina
Kika
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pjesma za mene:

Papa Roach "Sometimes"

I'm dreamin about tomorrow, I'm thinkin of yesterday, I consume myself in sorrow this moment in time is what I betray, I
am searching for the answers

[Chorus]
I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life
is spinning out of control

I never know what you want, I never know what you need, it was different from the start, when you cut me in two I never
thought I would bleed, but I am searching for the answers

[Chorus]

I will go this alone I don't need nobody's help, I've got to do this myself, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone

[Chorus x2]


LET 3 - Dijete u vremenu

Gledam u tuznu jesenju noc
s pokisle grane lisce otpada
u daljini cujem muziku neku
i pitam sebe, gdje li si sada

Ja svakog dana proklinjem sebe
zasto te drugom prepustih lako
pjevao sam pjesme, nad'o se boljem
i bezbroj puta uz gitaru plak'o

Ref.
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi k'o nekada
dodji da ostarimo zajedno

Da li jos pamtis ljubavi moja
kako smo ruze zajedno brali
gdje li si sada mladosti moja
zasto su tebe od mene ukrali

Achtung, Achtung
ein animalischen sex
mit die zwei penzioneren
sport und elegantisch

Oder extravagantisch
atention, atention
für die grosse erektion
liebe Penis, liebe zwei
liebe sex abnormal

Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno...
nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi ko nekada
dodi da ostarimo zajedno...



EPICA Dance Of Fate

When darkness will reign and blind us all

When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall

We cannot tell when morning comes
Is there a choice to live another day?
It's hard to find a new direction in your fragile life

The precious time of your existence is now to come
Don't throw your life away by cheating time
Sugared placebos only fool your mind

Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin

When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall

Novas portas pandimus

What is this pace, the type of dance?
I cannot tell which steps I have to take
I'd like to leave, just run away
My feet are tangled up

So hard to face the pace of the clock
What do you think; will it ever stop?
So will I fall and not get up?
I take it all in stride

Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin

Everything has a reason for its happening
Can't you tell it's your own spell and
Everyone has to dance this dance like anyone
Can't break free of destiny

We should open new doors and
Close the ones that we've left behind

Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin

When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall

Novas portas pandimus
Et post nos occludimus


Nightwish - Feel For You

You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent

I'm the snow on your lips
The freezing taste, the silvery sip
I'm the breath on your hair
The endless nightmare, devil's lair

Only so many times
I can say I long for you
The lily among the thorns
The prey among the wolves

Someday, I will feed a snake
Drink her venom, stay awake
With time all pain will fade
Through your memory I will wade

Barely cold in her grave
Barely warm in my bed
Settling for a draw tonight
Puppet girl, your strings are mine

This one is for you for you
Only for you
Just give in to it never think again
I feel for you


Nightwish - Dead Gardens

The story behind the painting I drew is already told
No more tearstains on the pages of my diary
Tired but unable to give up since I`m
Responsible for the lives I saved

The play is done
The curtain`s down

All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
Lost in my own world
Now I care for dead gardens

My song is little worth anymore
Time to lay this weary pen aside

The play is done
The curtain`s down

"Where are the wolves, the underwater moon
The elvenpath, the haven of youth
Lagoons of the starlit sea

Have I felt enough for one man`s deed?
Or is it time to challenge the Ancient of Days
And let the virgin conceive"

All the tales...



Cradle of filth - Nymphetamine

Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V'' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl

Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days

Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine

Sunsetter
Nymphetamine (Nymphetamine)
None better
Nymphetamine



KORN - Thoughtless

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming

Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger
And you're down, down, down

Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming

All my friends are gone, they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)

I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
Gonna take you down

[repeat 2x]

I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the...

All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming






Missing

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?

[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?

Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"

[Chorus]

And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...

[Chorus]