subota, 31.01.2009.

Google, i kako to zaista izgleda.

Sve je na engleskom, nije mi se dalo prevoditi. Google - an alternative way to hire Google is always hiring. The process is a long one - often up to two months. But it's not simply another case of a skills shortage that stops Google finding employees. Google maintains a hiring bar: they demand only the best. The process is also famously difficult. Candidates have to send CV and cover letter, do a 30-40minutes telephone interview, which includes a telephone maths and English test. It has been known for candidates to be asked for 3,000 word essay. It they pass those, they are called for an interview. Not just one interview though - on average, candidates do five or six interviews, each time with a different interviewer. Interviews do not consist of typical interview questions, but more often brainteasers such as: 1. How many golf balls can fit in a school bus? 2. You are shrunk to the height of a nickel and your mass is proportionally reduced so as to maintain your original density. You are then thrown into an empty glass blender. The blades will start moving in 60 seconds. What do you do? 3. How much should you charge to wash all the windows in Seattle? 4. How would you find out if a machine's stack grows up or down in memory? 5. Explain a database in three sentences to your eight-year-old nephew. 6. How many times a day does a clock's hands overlap? 7. You have to get from point A to point B. You don't know if you can get there. What would you do? 8. Imagine you have a closet full of shirts. It's very hard to find a shirt. So what can you do to organize your shirts for easy retrieval? 9. Every man in a village of 100 married couples has cheated on his wife. Every wife in the village instantly knows when a man other than her husband has cheated, but does not know when her own husband has. The village has a law that does not allow for adultery. Any wife who can prove that her husband is unfaithful must kill him that very day. The women of the village would never disobey this law. One day, the queen of the village visits and announces that at least one husband has been unfaithful. What happens? 10. In a country in which people only want boys, every family continues to have children until they have a boy. if they have a girl, they have another child. if they have a boy, they stop. what is the proportion of boys to girls in the country? 11. If the probability of observing a car in 30 minutes on a highway is 0.95, what is the probability of observing a car in 10 minutes (assuming constant default probability)? 12. If you look at a clock and the time is 3:15, what is the angle between the hour and the minute hands? (The answer to this is not zero!) 13. Four people need to cross a rickety rope bridge to get back to their camp at night. Unfortunately, they only have one flashlight and it only has enough light left for seventeen minutes. The bridge is too dangerous to cross without a flashlight, and it's only strong enough to support two people at any given time. Each of the campers walks at a different speed. One can cross the bridge in 1 minute, another in 2 minutes, the third in 5 minutes, and the slow poke takes 10 minutes to cross. How do the campers make it across in 17 minutes? 14. You are at a party with a friend and 10 people are present including you and the friend. your friend makes you a wager that for every person you find that has the same birthday as you, you get $1; for every person he finds that does not have the same birthday as you, he gets $2. would you accept the wager? 15. How many piano tuners are there in the entire world? 16. You have eight balls all of the same size. 7 of them weigh the same, and one of them weighs slightly more. How can you find the ball that is heavier by using a balance and only two weightings? 17. You have five pirates, ranked from 5 to 1 in descending order. The top pirate has the right to propose how 100 gold coins should be divided among them. But the others get to vote on his plan, and if fewer than half agree with him, he gets killed. How should he allocate the gold in order to maximize his share but live to enjoy it? (Hint: One pirate ends up with 98 percent of the gold.) ''We don't look for people with particular skills: we look for people who have excelled. And by its very nature, there is a shortage of people like that'', notes Figes, one of the Google's Human Resource Managers. All Google asks of potential employees is that they are 'smart'. Last year, Google asked every employee who had been working at the company for at least 5 months to fill put a 300-question survey. Some questions were factual: what computer programming languages are you familiar with? Some looked for behaviour: Is your workplace messy or neat? And some looked at personality: Are you an extrovert or an introvert? And some fell into a traditional category in the human resources world: What do you read? Then they looked at their star employees and which personality traits they had. Based on the results, Google had developed a questionnaire which every candidate must complete when applying for a job. The answers are fed into a series of formulas created by Google's mathematicians that calculate a score - from zero to 100 - meant to predict how well a person will fit into the Google's chaotic and competitive culture. 140 pitanja iz upitnika: 1. How would you describe yourself? Tell me about yourself. 2. Why did you leave your last job? 3. What are your long range and short range goals and objectives? 4. What specific goals other than those related to your occupation, have you established for yourself for the next ten years? 5. What do you see yourself doing five years from now? Ten years from now? 6. What do you really want to do in life? 7. What are your long range career objectives? 8. How do you plan to achieve your career goals? 9. What are the most important rewards you expect in your career? 10. What do you expect to be earning in five years? 11. Why did you choose this career? 12. Can you explain this gap in your employment history? 13. How well do you work with people? Do you prefer working alone or in teams? 14. How would you evaluate your ability to deal with conflict? 15. Have you ever had difficulty with a supervisor? How did you resolve the conflict? 16. What's more important to you - the work itself or you? 17. What do you consider to be your greatest strengths and weaknesses? 18. How would a good friend describe you? 19. Describe the best job you've ever had. 20. Describe the best supervisor you've ever had. 21. What would your last boss say about your work performance? 22. What motivates you to go the extra mile on a project or job? 23. Why should I hire you? 24. What makes you qualified for this position? 25. What qualifications do you have that make you successful in this career? 26. How do you determine or evaluate success? 27. What do you think it takes to be successful in a company like ours? 28. In what ways do you think you can make a contribution to our company? 29. Do you have any hobbies? What do you do in your spare time? 30. Have you ever been fired or forced to resign? 31. What qualities should a successful manager possess? 32. Do you consider yourself a leader? 33. What are the attributes of a good leader? 34. Describe the workload in your current (or most recent) job. 35. Which is more important: creativity or efficiency? Why? 36. What's the most recent book you've read? 37. Describe the relationship that should exist between the supervisor and those reporting to him or her? 38. What two or three accomplishments have given you the most satisfaction? 39. Describe the most rewarding experience of your career thus far. 40. If you were hiring a job-seeker for this position, what qualities would you look for? 41. Do you have plans for continued study? An advanced degree? 42. In what kind of work environment are you most comfortable? 43. How do you work under pressure? 44. Are you good at delegating tasks? 45. What's one of the hardest decisions you've ever had to make? 46. How well do you adapt to new situations? 47. Why did you decide to seek a position in this company? 48. What can you tell us about our company? 49. What interests you about our products? 50. What do you know about our competitors? 51. What two or three things are most important to you in your job? 52. Are you seeking employment in a company of a certain size? Why? 53. What are your expectations regarding promotions and salary increases? 54. What criteria are you using to evaluate the company for which you hope to work? 55. Do you have a geographic preference? Why? 56. Are you willing to relocate? 57. Are you willing to travel for the job? 58. Why do you think you might like to live in the community in which our company is located? 59. What major problem have you encountered and how did you deal with it? 60. What have you learned from your mistakes? 61. What have you accomplished that shows your initiative and willingness to work? 62. Describe a situation in which you were able to use persuasion to successfully convince someone to see things your way. 63. Describe a time when you were faced with a stressful situation that demonstrated your coping skills. 64. Give me a specific example of a time when you used good judgment and logic in solving a problem. 65. Give me an example of a time when you set a goal and were able to meet or achieve it. 66. Tell me about a time when you had to use your presentation skills to influence someone's opinion. 67. Give me a specific example of a time when you had to conform to a policy with which you did not agree. 68. Please discuss an important written document you were required to complete. 69. Tell me about a time when you had to go above and beyond the call of duty in order to get a job done. 70. Tell me about a time when you had too many things to do and you were required to prioritize your tasks. 71. Give me an example of a time when you had to make a split second decision. 72. What is your typical way of dealing with conflict? Give me an example. 73. Tell me about a time you were able to successfully deal with another person even when that individual may not have personally liked you (or vice versa). 74. Tell me about a difficult decision you've made in the last year. 75. Give me an example of a time when something you tried to accomplish and failed. 76. Give me an example of when you showed initiative and took the lead. 77. Tell me about a recent situation in which you had to deal with a very upset customer or co-worker. 78. Give me an example of a time when you motivated others. 79. Tell me about a time when you delegated a project effectively. 80. Give me an example of a time when you used your fact-finding skills to solve a problem. 81. Tell me about a time when you missed an obvious solution to a problem. 82. Describe a time when you anticipated potential problems and developed preventive measures. 83. Tell me about a time when you were forced to make an unpopular decision. 84. Please tell me about a time you had to fire a friend. 85. Describe a time when you set your sights too high (or too low). 86. What can you do for us that someone else can't? 87. What do you look for in a job? 88. What skills and qualifications are essential for success in the position of ______? 89. How long would it take for you to make a meaningful contribution? 90. How does this assignment fit into your overall career plan? 91. Describe your management style. 92. What do you believe is the most difficult part of being a supervisor of people? 93. Why are you looking for a new career? 94. How would your colleagues describe you? 95. How would your boss describe you? 96. What do you think of your present or past boss? 97. What were the five most significant accomplishments in your last assignment? 98. What were the five most significant accomplishments in your career so far? 99. Can you work well under deadlines or pressure? 100. How much do you expect if we offer you this position? 101. Why do you want to work for us? 102. What other positions are you considering? 103. Have you kept up in your field with additional training? 104. How did you do in school? 105. If you took the job what would you accomplish in the first year? 106. What was wrong with your current or last position? 107. What kind of hours are you used to working or would like to work? 108. Do you have your reference list with you? (Remember don't give it out unless it is asked for). 109. Can you explain your salary history? 110. What questions didn't I ask that you expected? 111. Do you have any question for me? 112. What do you want to do with your life? 113. Do you have any actual work experience? 114. How would you describe your ideal job? 115. When did you decide on this career? 116. What goals do you have in your career? 117. How do you plan to achieve these goals? 118. Describe a situation in which you were successful. 119. What do you think it takes to be successful in this career? 120. If you had to live your life over again, what would you change? 121. Would your rather work with information or with people? 122. Are you a goal-oriented person? 123. What major problem have you had to deal with recently? 124. Why did you choose to attend your college? 125. What changes would you make at your college? 126. How has your education prepared you for your career? 127. What were your favorite classes? Why? 128. Do you enjoy doing independent research? 129. Who were your favorite professors? Why? 130. Why is your GPA not higher? 131. Do you have any plans for further education? 132. How much training do you think you'll need to become a productive employee? 133. What qualities do you feel a successful manager should have? 134. Why do you want to work in the _____ industry? 135. What do you know about our company? 136. Why are you interested in our company? 137. Do you have any location preferences? 138. How familiar are you with the community that we're located in? 139. Will you relocate? In the future? 140. Are you willing to travel? How much?

ponedjeljak, 26.01.2009.

Mamurluk.

subota, 24.01.2009.

Stubište i mi.

Znam da je John s prvog kata transvestit. Znam da voli crvenu boju, da mu je najdraža kombinacija Penelope frizura s cigareta bordo suknjom i crnom košuljom. Da je rijetko plavuša, da se voli decentno našminkati, i da je fizikalac jer su mu ispred stana CAT čizme s vječitim blatom. Tu i tamo ga vidim kao ''muškarca'', tu i tamo ga vidim kao transvestita. Danas sam ga vidjela u novoj kombinaciji. On me se prepao jer smo u isto vrijeme išli baciti smeće. Prepao me se gadno jer nije kroz špijunku provjerio jel zrak čist, a meni se taman u to vrijeme olabavila gumica na palma frizuri pa sam si dizala kosu s očiju. Izgledala sam reprezentativno u plavoj piđami, floppy šlapama, razmazane šminke i ljuta jer je gazdarica stavila mašinicu za mašinu za pranje rublja, koja mi za svaki euro da 35minuta pranja. Što dovodi do toga da svaku mašinu plaćam 4eura, a ovaj sam tjedan imala 5 mašina, jer me uhvatila manija čišćenja, i jer sam kupila svoju jubilarnu petu posteljinu, jer na posteljinu imam fetiše, i jer se osjećam jako jadno ako svaka dva mjeseca (ili manje) ne kupim nove plahte. Ne znam tko se više iznenadio. John ili ja. Jer znam da nije baš socijalan i jer mu nije bilo drago što sam ga vidjela. - I'm so sorry, kaže on pogledom prestravljene srne. - What?, kažem ja. - Sorry, I thought there was nobody outside. - It's just me. - Well, sorry then, kaže on pogledom prestravljene srne. - For what? - For looking like this., i pokaže rukom preko sebe pogledom prestravljene srne. - Come on, o come on! It's not like I haven't seen you so far. We live in the same building. - But I'm sorry. It's shock for people. - Just relax. - Thank you, thank you so much. - It's really ok. Just relax. - No, really thank you for not having a reaction. - Good man yourself. :) - :) Ja sam bacila svoje smeće prva da mu ne bude neugodno, jer je meni sad bilo neugodno. Mora da mu život nije lak. Nisam nikad nekoga vidjela toliko prestrašenog. Mene, u piđami, s vaginom, i razmrljanom šminkom do zuba, vjerojatno i lošim zadahom, čokoladom u kutovima usana i palma frizurom. Ja bi se sebe prestrašila.

četvrtak, 22.01.2009.

Ne volim četr'tke.

I ne, nisam team work osoba. I da, previše sam u detaljima, i da mrzim kad mi se netko nameće kao šef a to mi nije jer smo u istom rangu, i da mrzim team work, i da ja volim, volim volim solo posao. Volim solo posao jer si onda misli mogu čuti i nemam opsesivno-kompulzivne osobe za vratom koje diktiraju tiraniju iz vlastitog čeifa. Trebam finiš današnjeg dana. Padre Novinar me nazvao. - Zadnjih dana nisam po oglasima gledao jel netko treba tvoju struku. Gade, jesi dobro? - Jesam tata, dobro sam, samo se dam naživcirat. - Ma ne daj se, sve ti to možeš. Nego, mama danas radi kiselo zelje, i dobio sam neke domaće kobasice. Stalno su nam ljudi u kući, tvoja mama organizira društvene večere i nova jela i kerefeke. - Pa kad si ti stalno po domjencima, mami fali društva. - Šta ćeš, novinarski posao. Pokočilo me u leđima pa mi baka dala neke tablete, sad idem spavat u devet. Ana, šta mi je to dala? (pita moju mamu). - Vjerojatno su ketonali tata. - Ketonali su, rekla mi je tvoja mama. Sestra ti je standard. Glumi strogoću. Mačaka mi nema, imaju dečke. Lunjaju noću, doma dolaze prebijene. - Teško ti je kad te pet žena tetoši. :) - Gade, budi dobra. Idem ja tražit oglase. - Ne daj se smesti tata. :) - Pij vode, znaš da ti šumi u ušima.

petak, 16.01.2009.

Imam prijateljicu školsku učiteljicu.

Strašno mi je dosadno danas. Odlučila sam vježbati, gledala sam emisiju gdje je neki frajer (američka emisija) u kojoj je taj frajer objašnjavao nama, publici ispred monitora, i publici u publici kako smršaviti na način da se skoncentriramo. Kao ako si gladan, onda se natjeraj na dekoncentraciju od gladi. Pa se natjeraj na to da te glad ne dokencentrira dok se pokušavaš skoncentirat na neke druge stvari, a te druge stvari su - lupkanje prstima po licu, okretanje očiju u krug udesno, krug ulijevo, lupaj se po prsnom košu, lupaj se po vanjskoj strani dlana, i ja sam tu prebacila na drugi program, jer mi je ovo sve bilo jako čudno, jako američki, i jako depresivno. Bila sam danas s Jill na sendviću (cura koju sam upoznala kad smo radile u školi stranih jezika), ja htjela u Trinity studentsku menzu (jer kad sam tamo imam osjećaj kao da još uvijek studiram), a ona me odvela u neku knjižaru u kojoj je sendvić 9e. Nakon tri sata priče odlučila sam joj dati popis svojih najdražih knjiga i filmova, a ona me pitala jesam li ikad čitala Camusa. Jesam, pa mi je dala kolekciju svojih najdražih knjiga, i onda sam ju malo ispitivala šta planira nakon magisterija američke književnosti, na što je rekla da u rujnu upisuje doktorat, gdje će ČETIRI godine studirati poeziju Ted Hughes.a. E ja to zovem strašću. Pošto sam za Teda onako letimično čula, isto onako kao što sam još od treće godine faksa pričala da bi trebala čitat Sylviu Plath, pa nikad nisam. Najdraža pjesma joj je: Apple tragedy. Kao prepuna je skrivenih značenja, i nije samo doslovna parodija na prvotni Raj. Ja poeziju ne razumijem, ali ju ona rastura. Uvijek ima neke briljantne male ideje i dosjetke, vrlo je onako svjesna sebe iako je navršila 23 godine, i onako super zanimljiva mi je pa volim s njom ispijat šalicu čaja. Petak je, recesija je, za slijedeći tjedan imam za napravit dvije prezentacije, nikako mi se sad ne da ni gledat ni razmišljat o tome, gripa me prošla, ostala mi je ukočenost svega. Razmišljam dal pogledat Transamericu ili pogledat nešto drugo. Bio je ovo jako dosadan dan, čekam sutrašnji, rekla sam si da moram prošetat do mora. Živim 10 minuta od oceana, vrijeme na plaži provodim jednom u tri mjeseca. Kao nemam vremena, zapravo imam, lijena sam, kako je Irska duboko na sjeveru svijetla je bilo od 10 do 15. Mislim da je danas počela sezona kiša. Našla sam super citat, Banksy ju je pokupio od Emo Philipsa, ja sam ga pokupila od ovog prvog napisanog. ''When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness.''

ponedjeljak, 12.01.2009.

Dobar početak radnog tjedna se zove...

Irska južina. Vani puše topli vjetar koji kao da je poslan s Mediterana, tim više što ovdje nitko nije navikao na topli vjetar, tim više na sunce, što dovodi do masivnih glavobolja, u mom stanu barem, u mojoj glavi barem, u kombinaciji s punim mjesecom kojeg gledam zadnje dvije noći dok pokušavam da me njegova svjetlost ne opeče, kad već ne mogu spavati ili se budim ili me leđa svrbe, ili pokušavam brojati štrafte na zidu zabavljajući se receptom koji sam vidjela na netu: hoću li prihvatiti batate kao nove krumpire? Par ljudi mi dolazi za dva mjeseca, i zbog njih sam se odlučila pozabaviti duhom aka muškim duhom, koji u ovoj mojoj staroj irskoj viktorijanskoj zgradi vlasnice Engleskinje, šetucka s noći na noć. Moja sestra ima paranoje da ja brijem, ali nemoš baš brijati na toliko ugodno-neugodnih stvari mog DOBROG duha (u tome je velika razlika) koji sam sa sobom ima dana kad se više pojavi, nekad manje. Otkako sam se vratila u Dublin, i moj dobri duh je miran, ali možda tome pridonosi i velik članak o anđelima koji sam pročitala u Božićnom izdanju The Economista, koji me dodirnuo iznutra izvana (članak mislim), pa sam negdje valjda sa sobom u torbi iz Hrvatske ponjela i onog mog kućnog osobnog anđela (ljepši je Nicholasa Cagea) kojeg mi je deda pokazivao kad sam bila mala, ajmo sad još sklopit ručice, ''Anđele čuvaru mili, svojom snagom me zakrili...'' Ako Jacques Prévert nije bio lud u svojim borbama s perjem, e pa bogme nisam ni ja. Ali ima lijeka, kažem ja, kad nešto prigrliš, onda se toga manje i bojiš. No, u redu Vix, točno na vrijeme kad dođeš, ja ću sve riješiti tako da budeš sigurna kad u sebe budeš tankala galone Sv. Patrik piva. Posao moj dragi mi je počeo, moram naći još jedan, recesivna Irska nije zemlja koja trenutno pruža puno mogućnosti, tako da se moram pritajit s nekim stvarima, ali to je i normalno. Mlada sam, zdrava sam, sposobna sam, pod gripom sam, trenutno sam još uvijek u šlafruku, ali volim bolove u zglobovima, volim šumove u ušima, volim bolove u zubima, volim gripu. Gripa je valjda jedina bolest od koje ne postanem hipohondrična. U nedjelju me Sean vodi u neki šmensipenski restoran, imamo godišnjice zaletavanja jedno u drugo. Ja sam odlučila biti posebno dobra curica i obuć se po zadnjem modnom kriku hotsexy fufice. Njemu sam kupila Armani Diamonds, nek se čovjek osjeća posebno u koži, pitao me on sa strepnjom želim li ja da mi on napokon kupi parfem. Ja parfeme ne koristim, meni dati parfem je totalni fulaš od poklona, s tim više što sam nekad samo nosila Charlie White od Revlona, a taj bijeli Charlie je valjda jedini parfem u tom cijelom vražjem asortimanu koji se više ne proizvodi. Ako me ova gripa izmrcvari a velika je vjerojatnost da hoće, velika je vjerojatnost da će mi se i želudac priljepiti uz kičmu i da ću u nedjelju izgledat mršavo prepotentno i napuhano i tako samoj sebi bit bitna dok se budem prošetavala na svojih 187cm zajedno s petom. Velika je i vjerojatnost da ću se prejest, napit i opet radit opscenosti koje će po koji put završit sa Seanovim borbama da i on sam legne u krevet umjesto mene same koja se bacam po svim jastucima, zahtijevajući vlastitu bitnost dok mi zvijezde pokazuju put prema wcu, ili dok mi šum pčela i kukaca iza očiju ne da znak da sam ipak previše tankala u sebe. 32m od moje zgrade se nalazi Izraelska ambasada. Zadnjih dana sam mislila da sam Židovkinja, jer svaki put kad bi izašla na ulicu, ispred zgrade su me dočekali i pogledali masovni protesti i Palestinske face i marame. Ja sam si govorila, ovo je protest, preživjela si rat, ovo je protest u Irskoj, ovdje nema nemira, ljudi su ovdje pacifisti, ti nisi Židov, odi potpisat peticiju. Ma koliko srala ja sad ovdje, ti protesti su me jako ganuli, zapravo su jako dirljivi jer se događaju svaki dan zadnjih tjedan dana, i ima mi nešto predivno i okusno u tom osjećaju kad se ljudi bore za svoja prava, mada je Irska valjda superultraturbo korektna i fairplay zemlja u kojoj je stopa nasilja, agresije i bilo čega negativnog, jedva zamjetna, ako se uopće i primjeti. Kako jedna stvar uvijek prati drugu, kako jedna ambasada nije slučajno pokraj druge, tako je i američka ambasada 54m dalje od izraelske, tako da sam u centru događanja nekih bitnih irskih događanja. S time što sam samom gripom, i koju svi imaju, ušla u epicentar priča koje trenutno kruže Irskom. Druge generalne stvari su naravno vrijeme, recesija, još malo recesije koja ovu prebogatu zemlju udara ali na sve strane (kad se odjednom nema novaca, recesija se čuje kroz kukanje), kako velike komp firme odlaze iz Irske te se sele u Poljsku koja je svoju ekonomiju vrlo uspješno digla tako da se bauštela vratila doma i sve svoje emigrantske novce uložila u matičnu ekonomiju. Jebeno kako se zapravo vrte novci. I tako masa Iraca ostaje bez posla, masa ih traži posao, meni treba još jedan, radit ću zvijezde i držat dah preko dvadeset sekundi da me netko zapazi, iako je ovaj koji radim bitan i vrijedan ali mi treba još jedan da bi živela kak bog zapoveda. Planirala sam neka putovanja. Prije par mjeseci u Dublin su došli roditelji od Seanovog prijatelja iz Baskije, oni mene upoznali, ja ih kakti oduševila visinom i svojim meksičke serije španjolskim, i sad im se sin ženi kojeg ja upoznala još nijesam, ali čim roditeljima klikneš ... I tako oni, roditelji, nas dvoje nazvali i rekli da moramo doći u svibnju. Baskija je inaće prijestolnica kuhinje. U određenim gradovima ima više restorana po osobi nego igdje na svijetu, slove kao vrsni kuhari, ja slovim kao vrsna proždrljivica i odvratno ali istinito, prati me reputacija da ako me se namami negdje gdje ima hrane, veća je šansa da ću doći, nego ako hrane nema. Mama mi ide u Francusku krajem svibnja, pa sam si mislila kako bi bilo super proslaviti svoj 26. rođendan s materom, ali ako ne budem imala novaca, neće biti ni Francuske s mamom. To su već velika planiranja. Današnja planiranja se svode da moram ići oprat zube jer sam bolesna a ponedjeljak je. Ponedjeljkom perem zube, ali se nedjeljom tuširam. Možda bi trebala nešto i pojesti ali uzgajam anoreksiju, čula sam nešto o tome, čujem da je hit. Eventualno i kosu oprati, ali to su sad već kompromisi. Čula sam da je Luka Nižetić u Dublinu, Luku Nižetića još nisam vidjela.

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