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    Ticket for two

    And Paradise would soon become hell to Adam if he were there alone, I suppose. But do you guide the one you love into hell with your hand on their muzzle, I wondered, and I wonder now?

    That is acoustics for you, bro! All is fallen in the water, I thought. No wonder, I never yet heard such a SPLASH. Really, I fell in the water. And I even dive, and there is nothing around me. Cunningly I understood: that it all in the water, now I would see something of that, because I obviously also fell. Hope came back to me, I only needed to orient myself properly.
    Hluunk… hluunk… hluunk!
    The sonar is coming from a direction which I never liked, but in need you can’t afford undue squeamishness.

    Early in the morning, seven. The nurse opened the door and I handed over my ID card. I didn’t. My wife did.
    “You can come in,” said the nurse briskly.
    My beloved and I went in together.
    “Normally I don’t accept people in pairs,” grumbled the doctor.
    Without a word I turned to go out.
    “This time you will have to make an exception,” said my wife and stopped me by tugging my hand.
    The doctor raised his eyebrow.
    “I… am not well,” I can only stand staring at him gauntly. He returns my gaunt stare and sits at his table.
    “It’s best that we refer you straight away to the psychiatrist, emergency. Go right now. Will you manage that alone? I don’t need to call anybody?”
    We can manage alone.
    And today I wonder how I must have appeared then and what that unfortunate doctor must have encountered in my gaze when he sent me straight to the madhouse. I don’t remember any more, but I think that he still talked for some time with me alone.

    The prelude is over, the doors still wait, but in the mud of my consciousness is planted a truly essential novelty: the pressure of a dear and familiar hand.
    I am not standing there alone!

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    13.09.2007. (16:57)    -   -   -   -  

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