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“Ljudi koji su čitali dobre knjige, živjeli su više od onih koji nisu… Nije istina da imamo samo jedan život. Ako možemo čitati, možemo živjeti onoliko života koliko poželimo... ”
S. I. Hayakawa
"Als das Kind Kind war, ging es mit hängenden Armen, wollte der Bach sei ein Fluß, der Fluß sei ein Strom, und diese Pfütze das Meer. Als das Kind Kind war, wußte es nicht, daß es Kind war, alles war ihm beseelt, und alle Seelen waren eins.
ZA ONE KOJI ZELE VISE...
darija_simunov@yahoo.com
Rastanak s tobom
Mi stojimo na rubu svijeta
i gledamo u zapadanje zadnjih zvijezda u dubine noći
Sa zvijezdama i mi zapadamo
Mi stojimo već na krajnjem rubu sebe
Tko ispod nas zemlju nevidljivo maknu
da je već daleko vidimo ko zvijezdu?
Zamakle su zvijezde
Tko od nas još može naslutiti sebe?
Rušimo se vječno
Nas je put bez dna i padanje bez glasa...
NEPROMISLJENIM REDOSLIJEDOM...
Y Tu Mama Tambien
Trece oko i 3 treptaja
Beyond reality
Borja Dvolik
SS
Dida
KALIOPA
Dezurna Vjestica
svismoisti
Zadihana...
Beyond reality
Pismena ostavka ljubavnom svijetu
... like a rose....
Borja Dvolik
Volupta
mcmlx
misko
Sanja
Prokleta
annabelle
Moja Srodna duša
a vjerujte ima vas još....
Pišem i čitam i oslikavam skrivena iza znatiželjnog platna i pogrbljenih utvara stranaca... promatrajući s prozora taj ranjeni svijet...
Ime mi je Darija i sanjam o tome da jednog dana ugledam svoja piskaranja na polici, ukoričena...
Sanjam još puno toga.... samo sanjam...
"All these people I've known, who are and always will be in my head. There's always a beginning and an end. It was too good. Outside at last, in the city... find out who I am, what I've become. Most of the time, I am too aware to be sad. I waited an eternity to hear a loving word. Then I went abroad. Someone who'd say 'I love you so much today', that would be so wonderful! ... Emptied out, inadequate. Fear, fear, fear. The look of a small animal lost in the woods. Who are you? I don't know anymore. But I do know that I won't be a trapeze artist. Unforeseen decisions in which to believe. I must not cry... I won't cry... no way! It happens, that's how it goes, not always as you wish it. Emptiness, emptiness..."-
DER HIMMEL ÜBER BERLIN
"Dear Leonard, to look life in the face … always to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is. At last, to know it, to love it for what it is, and then … to put it away. Leonard … always the years between us, always the years … always … the love … always … the hours." -
THE HOURS
"FOREVER IS A LONG TIME BABY...."
The Bitter moon
By SS
"Do you know the Tristan Rêveur quote about bad art? It's "bad art is more tragically beautiful than good art 'cause it documents human failure."
STAY
Cassiel: "Why can't I be good? Why can't I act like a man? Why can't I act like other men can? "
IN WEITER FERNE, SO NAH!
"Here is the first passionate love-letter I have ever written in my life. Strange, that my first passionate love-letter should have been addressed to a dead girl. Can they feel, I wonder, those white silent people we call the dead?"-
O.Wilde The picture of Dorian Gray
Fall...
I've wanted to tell you for awhile now. i wanted to say it as you reached for a teacup in your kitchen that night we fought about "why we always have to eat chinese food on your floor" and then made-up. i wanted to say it as the moonlight shown in on you as you slept in your bed the first time we made love there. when i felt your heart racing against my chest. in your (room) in spain, when you first saw your roses, even though i wasn't there. but mostly i wanted to say it the last night i saw you, as i held you in my arms looking down at your precious face knowingly looking up at me. still inside you, quiet, motionless, but so inside you. i wanted so badly to tell you that... the words each time graced my lips like an impostor. only to fall away like some great blizzard that was taken out to sea to rain it's fury on the dark ocean, alone, unbeknownst to any hearing. i pray that you can hear them for what they are, feel them for what they are, and not mar them with the knowledge that they stand apart from your ability to reciprocate them. please take them in your heart, feel them with your eyes closed and your soul open for just a moment. my voice speaking them softly in your ear, with a kiss.when you smile, when your head lightly moves to dance, when your tongue finds my lips, when you ramble over a glass of wine, when you sit naked after we've made love, when you act boldly, when you laugh, when you squeeze my hand, when you call my name in a gruff whisper, when your heart races on my chest in a close embrace, when you love me. what i'm sad about is selfish. i'm sad at god's timing, i'm only a man. and as a man i miss you. i miss you terribly. i miss your kiss. i miss your smile. oh, how i miss your smile. but most of all i miss the moment that hasn't happened yet. the moment when you let yourself fall for me. what makes it hard for me is knowing how much you care for me, how much in a way you do love me. how much you would enjoy smiling wryly as you hurled yourself backwards off the cliff, and said "catch me, baby." if i didn't know that, i could make you a villain, me a victim, and soothe myself. but i can't because it isn't the truth. the truth we both know. the truth is "not today". i know you're not leaving (him) for me, and i wouldn't want you to. i would want you to leave him for you. i also know you would never fly a million miles just to see me smile at you. someday maybe, but not today. so i guess i better disappear. i know you'll be o.k. and soon i will be too. and maybe, just maybe,if god so desires, a day will come when as friends we will find ourselves accidentally strolling along the white cliffs of dover, or the mountain rocks of mendocino, or the bonny emerald north of the scottish seaboard, or the glistening harbor of old new york. and from the heights in the stars, amongst the angels whose arms will cradle us, in a moment neither of us was told about, but knew like our oldest happiness. we will look into each other's eyes and know... it is today. it is today. and whether that day is tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or next lifetime. i will finally get to tell you to your sweet face, the face that i will miss more than i could ever tell, that... i love you, i love you, oh, baby, i love you. and you'll smile wryly, close your eyes, say "catch me, baby", and fall...
subota, 31.07.2010.
1.
Silovana sam na stepenicama Pantheona. Jos zaudaram na njegovu krv, kozu i znoj. Jos uvijek mi se njegovo sjeme cijedi niz gola bedra. Rastrgao mi je haljinu, prisao mi je kao psu. Vukao me za kosu bez milosti dok sam vristeci grizla svoje usne i obraze do krvi. Stenjaoje poput svinje dok je kozno remenje njegove odore bicevalo moju golu straznjicu. Nogom u slabasnoj sandali odupirala sam se o ugaoni kamen i bazu stupa. U jednom sam trenu proklizala, proti svoje volje podarila mu cetveronoznu pozu. Zarikao je od naslade i zario se u mene najdublje dosad. Naga, gotovo sam klecala na mramornim stubama ne zazivajuci nijednog boga za milost. Duboko u podsvijesti proklinjala sam i Jupitera i Bacchusa. Grebuci mramor oko sebe, pokusavala sam naci oslonac i otrgnuti se boli.
Ugledah tada malen kamen koji mi je stao u saku. Bez razmisljanja sam ovila gipke prste oko njega i osjetila sigurnost. Nagonski sam zamahnula gotovo istog trena. Sve je proslo vrlo glatko i brzo. U jednom sam se trenu nagnula unatrag, njemu podarila jos dublji uzitak i iskoristila djelic sekunde njegove nekontrolirane naslade. Zamahnula sam naslijepo. Moja zenska intuicija vec je pri prvom pokusaju susrela svoju metu. Njegov stisak je iznenadno popustio, kliznula sam u okret i nastavila mahnito udarati po njegovom znojnom celu, neobrijanom licu, masnom vratu… uskoro su mi ruke bile oblivene krvlju.
Umjesto u tvrde kosti lubanje udarala sam u meku kasu njegovog lica koje je gubilo konture i boju. Osjetila sam na clancima zglobova da mu razbijam lice golim rukama jer onaj je kamen bio premalen. Grimiz je oduvijek bio moja boja a sad se cijedio niz moje prste, zglobove, zapesca… pod noktima su mi vec trunule njegove stanice mrtve koze, udarala sam mahnito, bez mjere i straha. Nije mi bilo stalo hoce li tko svjedociti mom brutalnom cinu ni hoce li me tko vidjeti. Kad sam shvatila da sam ga svladala, da odavno lezi mlitav, oboren poput dlakave priklane svinje, zaustavila sam se jer jedino je zvuk kamena u mojoj ruci koji udara u njegove oglodane kosti, jecio samotnim trgom i obijao se o kapitele stupova.
U trenu sam ponvo zamahnula, ali ruke su ostale u zraku nepomicne s kamenom koji sam jos uvijek gorljivo stiskala medju sakama. Opustila sam grcevima napet vrat i grimase lica. Spojila sam razjapljene usnice i osjetila koliko su ih zrak i moje urlanje osusili. Lagano sam ih oblizala i susrela okus krvi. Maximusova krv me pospricala. Posvuda. Spustih pogled na dronjke rastrgane haljine. Izdavala je moj krvavi cin. U trenutku sam odbacila kamen kao da je rijec o uzarenoj gromadi. Ne, nije razlog bio sablazan nad onim sto ucinih. Gadio mi se. Gadila mi se ljepljiva krv, sluzava opna na glatkoj povrsini kamena, vrelina koja je izbijala… tako neugodna i ljigava. Tjelesnost i zivotinjski smrad izbijali su iz mog svakog pokreta. Kako cu u terme uci ovakva, krvava i polugola? Odbacila sam sve primisli. Okrenula se i decumanusom zaputila prema svojoj insuli gdje me zabrinuta, sigurno vec satima cekala majka.
Ostalo je samo pitanje kako cu joj objasniti da sam vecer provela prolijevajuci ocevo sjeme a potom i krv?
- 19:42 -
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