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Everything Ends

MOŽDA STVARNO OSOBE NISU ONAKVE KAKVE SE ČINE, KAŽU JEDNO, A MISLE DRUGO

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TEŠKO JE BITI GLUP DANAS... KONKURENCIJA JE PREVELIKA!!!

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ŽIVITE METAL, MISLITE METAL, SLUŠAJTE METAL, OSTANITE METAL!!!

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SVAKA PROMIJENA U DRUŠTVU UTJEČE I NA POJEDINCA

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SVATKO JE POSEBAN NA SVOJ NAČIN

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SNOVI POSTAJU NEOSTVARIVI SAMO ZBOG JEDNE STVARI: STRAHA OD NEUSPJEHA!

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PRAVI NEPRIJATELJ TE NIKADA NEĆE NAPUSTITI. NAJBOLJI ČOVJEKOV PRIJATELJ JE ČOVJEK KOJI GLEDA SVOJA POSLA.

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TRENUTAK JE DOVOLJAN DA SE UPOZNA, TRENUTAK JE DOVOLJAN DA SE ZAVOLI, ALI SAMO TRENUTAK MOŽE RAZORITI ONO ŠTA JE TRENUTAK USPIO STVORITI…

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VOLIM ČOVJEČANSTVO, SAMO NE PODNOSIM LJUDE. GRIJEŠITI JE LJUDSKI, BACATI KRIVNJU NA DRUGE JOŠ LJUDSKIJE.

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TEŠKO JE GLEDATI BUDUĆNOST OČIMA PUNIM PROŠLOSTI…

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SVI ZA MENE, JA ZA SEBE. ZAVOLJETI SEBE, POČETAK JE DOŽIVOTNE LJUBAVI.

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NA MOJ ZNAK NEKA PROGUTA TE MRAK. ŠTO NE MOŽEŠ URADITI SAM, POKVARI BAR DRUGOME.

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ŽIVOT NIJE IŠTA DRUGO NEGO PUTOVANJE SMRTI!

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SJETI SE KAKO MALO ŽIVIŠ, A KOLIKO DUGO ĆEŠ BITI MRTAV…

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JEBEŠ ŽIVOT KAD ČOVJEK ČOVJEKA NE MOŽE DA SHVATI… JEBEŠ ŽIVOT KAD LJUBAV VENE… KAD ŽIVIŠ SAMO OD JEDNE PROKLETE USPOMENE..

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AKO TOLIKO BRIJEŠ NA SAVRŠENSTVO NAĐI SI LUTKU!

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NAJLAKŠE JE ZNAKOVIMA LJUDE TJERATI KAMO DA KRENU I ONDA IH UPUTITI U SMRT...

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BRISANJE, PALJENJE ILI TRGANJE JE NAJBOLJI NAČIN IZBJEGAVANJA ISTINE

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LJUDI NE OVISE O PRIJATELJIMA NEGO SAMI O SEBI

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LJUDE NE TREBA OSUĐIVATI PO ONOME ŠTO NISU, NEGO PO ONOME ŠTO JESU...

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AKO NE MOŽEŠ PRIHVATITI SEBE, KAKO ĆEŠ ONDA DRUGE...

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BOG VAM JE DAO JEDNO LICE, A PRAVITE SEBI DRUGO... (Shakespaere)

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O NAMA:

U DORADI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

/

/

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Ovoliko nas je ljudi posjetilo od 06.01.2007:

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People:


smijehDeadnight Warriorsmijeh

Vaxsysl

Lost Lenore

Child Of Bodom

¤×~ tWisted ~פ

Tko sam ja da sudim?

Veki

MorwenČe

Luda Mala

† Murdercute Happyrape †

Zabica

L.A.N.C.Y

.:Poisoned Justine:.

Lynx

~dark angel~

~ Evil ~

†..: KiKa :..†

† ~°~ † Black An9el † ~°~ †

*Unknown Child*

/

/

You will never now....

/

Norther - Fuck You

You know nothing about us
You think that we're not cool
You say we got nothing to give
We just say... Fuck you
We don't care about your thoughts
We will hate you anyway
You're just a piece of shit
We take no shit from no one

Fuck you, you're just a piece of shit
Fuck you, we take no shit

We take no shit from no one
You can say what ever you dare
It's all the same cos we don't care

/

Pain - Bye/Die

Tell me what do you see when you see yourself
I don't really get it, how do you make it through the day without killing yourself
Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, I'll fuck you up
You want me on my knees but I'm not going down
Bye bye, leave me alone or
Die die, it's your choice
No time for games, so just leave me the fuck alone

Do you know, you're all the same
Got to play these stupid games
You're getting on my nerves, so just stay the fuck away
Who died and made you god
This time you've gone to far
I think it-s time for you to understand: this is war

There's nothing to see here, I don't wanna be here
Get me out of here right now
I can not sit around and wait for you to drive me insane
Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, I'll fuck you up
You want me on my knees but I'm not going down
Bye bye, leave me alone or
Die die, it's your choice
No time for games, so just leave me the fuck alone

So you think I'm unreasonable
Do you really think I am a toy that you can kick around
Don't come here you're a waste of time
Some people never know, when it's time to back away
It will come back at you and slap you in the face

There's nothing to see here, I don't wanna be here
Get me out of here right now
I can not sit around and wait for you to drive me insane
I don't have patience so what are you after
Do you want me to snap right now
Some things will never ever change, like you and your ugly face
Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, I'll fuck you up
You want me on my knees but I'm not going down
Bye bye, leave me alone or
Die die, it's your choice
No time for games, so just leave me the fuck alone

Bye bye, its your choice
Die die, I'll fuck you up

Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, leave me alone

/

Soulfly - Jumpdafuckup

Jumpdafuckup!

Muthafucka u don't understand
All my hate!
Muthafucka u don't understand
All my rage!
Muthafucka u don't understand
All my pain!
Muthafucka u don't understand...

You seem to sever all my frequencies
I'm tethered to your energies
And everything turns inside out
I can't be killed but I'm not too proud

Maybe you would like to peek through the curtain
At the same mistake you know you always make
But...all I really want to know is
Are you gonna lay the fuck back down
Or jump da fuck up?

Walking in da streets and looking at all this shit
I'm full of hate, don't fuck with me
Walking in da streets and looking at all this shit
Open up your eyes and fucking see
We got the tribe against society
We got to fight the real enemy
Get da fuck up, stand da fuck up
Back da fuck up

All this is making things a bit insane
And I don't care who stares or stays
The only thing that matters is
Will you reach out if you can't resist?

Maybe you don't give a shit for the rest of us
But if you do, the time is now, if it ever was
If you're gonna fight, whatcha gonna do?
Jump da fuck up!

How dare you single out my honesty
Compare me to your travesties
I only want to see you fight
The darkness you wanna live your life by

And if you're gonna quit
I don't give a shit
What the fuck, I'm a Mack truck
Are you gonna give up like a bitch
Or jump da fuck up?

Walking in da streets and looking at all this shit
I'm full of hate, don't fuck with me
Walking in da streets and looking at all this shit
Open up your eyes and fucking see
We got the tribe against society
We got to fight the real enemy
Get da fuck up, stand da fuck up
Muthafuckaaaaaaaarrggghhhh

I'm a self-destructive piece of shit
Smear me in
I don't owe you a goddamn thing
This life has never had the swing
I don't wanna be immortal or legend or anything
Cuz the longer I'm alive, the better off you'll be
Get ready for epitome, come on and pity me...
Will you kill me if I say please?

I'm the same old reasons not to try
What the hell
Beat to death with a shovel and a new smell
Come and get me, mom would never let me do it
I'm ruined, I don't want anything from you
Cuz I've got nothing left to prove, c'mon
My time, everything feels fine, goodbye
Killing from the inside

/

Arch Enemy - Instinct

The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
This world we've created, has left me cold
This world is sedated, dying in it's sleep

I feel nothing

Seen it written on a thousand faces
The simple truth we fear
Seen it happen in a thousand places
Instinct brought us here

The more I see - the less I believe
The more I hear - the less I care
We used to be the chosen ones
Second to none
Look at what we've become
A pathetic excuse for life

I feel nothing

I can feel nothing
Nothing at all
Except for the pain
That hits me again

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Children Of Bodom - Trashed, Lost And Strungout

Once a day falling on the trail walking blind trade nothing discretion in low,
It's hard to wait taking yourself in honor I should know how low I can go.

Before I go high I'm very down,
And I'll be going after it again and again.

You try biting all the way not be one to be trashed, lost and strungout,
Then again try something fucked to mess around with what's to coming out.

Before I go high I'm very down,
And I'll be going after it again and again.

Come on!

Maybe I shouldn't profisize my life what the fuck have I done to you?
But did you ever be harassed, with my head still trying to tell me what the fuck to do!

I need to get it to the point where I cannot do,
Nothing but trying to be strungout on you.
Let me drown way deep down below for a sleep that'll surely let go.
Until the end I raise and batter around looking at my own reflection.
Forever lost I kiss you good bye to kill my soul addiction.

Before I go I hit the ground,
The only way I ever get down,
And with the next you'll tell me where to go,
Then I'll be going after it more and more!

I need to get it to the point where I cannot do,
Nothing but trying to be strungout on you.
Let me drown way deep down below for a sleep that'll surely let go.
Until the end I raise and batter around looking at my own reflection.
Forever lost I kiss you good bye to kill my soul addiction.

/

In Flames - Colony

In your world, the day is no threat
In my world, there is an absence of light
"Genetic superior cell" controlled
By the fathomless and unbearable

A radical new Form of plastic and rage
Biologically optimized
But with a strangling pulse

In your world, you find me worthy
In my world, I "parashoot" my life
A virtual drugstore populated
By the fathomless and unbearable

Machine, meat and blood
In an intimate relationship
The new - superior -
More effective than all the preceding

When we can no longer
Cry and reality is torn
Then it's easy to forget
That the responsibility lies on us all

In your world, the night is no threat
In my world, the darkness
Transforms to a vision of hell
Populated by fathomless and unbearable

/

Kataklysm - The Road To Devastation

It wasn't so long ago I remember time's where life was so cold
Everything was dark and still I thought I had a chance in life
The demons called my name, they dragged me inside the chambers of hell
No one could hear me, I bled tears of pain

Son, confront me... The Road To Devastation
Kneel before me... The Road To Devastation
Inhale, exhale... The Road To Devastation
This is my life... The Road To Devastation

The sun would rise, the hope would die inside
Another day of misery as the clock turns to agony
Feel the sense of lost time...
When everything falls to pieces and left with a glimpse of light

It wasn't so long ago I remember time's where life was so cold
Everything was dark and still I thought I had a chance in life
The demons called my name, they dragged me inside the chambers of hell
No one could hear me, I bled tears of pain

Son, confront me... The Road To Devastation
Kneel before me... The Road To Devastation
Inhale, exhale... The Road To Devastation
This is my life... The Road To Devastation

/

System Of A Down - Sad Statue

Conquest to the lover
And your love to the fire
Permanence unfolding in the absolute
Forgiveness is the ultimate sacrifice
Eloquence belongs to the conqueror
The pictures of time and space are rearranged
In this little piece of typical tragedy
Justified candy

Brandy for the nerves
Eloquence belongs to the conqueror
You and me
We'll all go down in history
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree
You and me
We'll all go down in history

With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree
I forgot to
I forgot to let you know that
Justified candy
Brandy for the nerves
Eloquence belongs to the conqueror
Conquest to the lover

And your love to the fire
Permanence unfolding in the absolute
Forgiveness is the ultimate sacrifice
Eloquence belongs to the conqueror
You and me
We'll all go down in history
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree

You and me
We'll all go down in history
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree
Generation
What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering
Suffering, suffering now

You and me
We'll all go down in history
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree
You and me

We'll all go down in history
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree
Generation
Belonging
Belonging to

/

Stone Sour - Inhale

Come one and all and see the broken man, talking to himself
He sits and waits for something better, he'll never find it here
The people touch his hair and pinch his cheek; he can't even feel it

There it goes again, he's listening to someone
He hears the bitter laughter
And all he wants to know is

Why------ does any of it matter? (I can't take it anymore)
You've gotta try------ the inhale that makes the exhale so much better

He wipes his hands on anything in reach, he never feels clean
He shakes at night because his nerve is gone, every muscle hurts
Come one and all and see what happened that broken man is me

There it goes again, I can hear it louder
It doesn't feel good anymore
All I want to know is

Why------ does any of it matter? (I can't take it anymore)
You've gotta try------ the inhale that makes the exhale so much better

Now I know I disappear!
I can't find my way from out of here!
Everything is fading on me!
Someone tell me someone tell me
Someone - tell me

Why------ does any of it matter? (I can't take it anymore)
You've gotta try------ the inhale that makes the exhale so much better

Why? ! you've gotta try!!

/

Slipknot - Everything Ends

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think Im gonna be sick and its your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I havent slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything

Shallow skin, I can paint with pain
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain
Everyday its the same - I love, you hate
But I guess I dont care any more...
Fix my problems with the blade
While my eyes turn from blue to gray
God, the worst thing happened to me today
But I guess I dont care anymore...

You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think Im gonna be sick and its your fault
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything
I havent slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of everything
You are the end of everything

My flaws are the only thing left thats pure
Cant really live, cant really endure
Everything I see reminds me of her
God I wish I didnt care anymore
The more I touch, the less I feel
Im lying to myself that its not real
Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal?
Im never gonna care anymore

What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me Im fine?
Where the hell am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed
I am only conditioned to die

/

Norther - Frozen Angel

We were together as one
All that we had can't be undone
Our love fading, now it's gone
Our time fading, so it's done
The blood that binds us
Till death unites us

Alone we die
My Frozen angel
Alone we fade away
From this world
Alone you die
My frozen angel
Alone we fade away
From this world

We were together as one
All that we had can't be undone
Our love fading the feeling is gone
Our time fading, now it's done
Nothing I do, nothing I say
Fade Away
My angel

/

Dark Tranquillity - Format C: For Cortex

Mental Blindfolds on
Early on the fascination intense
How to discern just where right belongs

Something has got to give
These things I just don't want you to see

There is no need for you to start revolutions
I don't want you to talk to the minions
Just show me a brand new face
An open mind against a dying race

Something has got to give
These things I just don't want you to hear/feel

Cannot fail in this the era of losers
Burnt the shell of those that once held the torches
Cannot give you the senses anew
Nor will you know innocence again

Something has got to give
These things I just don't want you to know

In time all your questions will be answered
Not what you hoped for, not what you dreamed
All preconceptions crumble

Something has got to give
These things I just don't want you to learn

Won't hold up to the standards you keep
Never came from the formative years
Just show me a brand new mind
Keep in what you left behind

Something has got to give
These things I just don't want you to be

/

Hypocrisy - Eraser

Here it comes to subject the terror you forgot
No memories from the past
The unexplainable starts to appear
As your sub-consciousness begins to come back again

Reality fades away
You try to find a solution
Here it's coming now, indecision
You're free but you can't see through the confusion

[Chorus]
There is no time
No time to regret
The eraser's coming for your life
You got to run
Stay away from the light
The eraser's here to twist your mind

Feel your soul connected to the universe
The solstice is complete
They controlled your thoughts
You will remember now, what it's all about

Twist the end around, violation
It's burning deep and twisting under your skin
It scares you forever
The proof you will find in your dreams

/

Inciter - All I Had

Wall in front of me
I can't believe
It looks so real
Face that has no face
Erase the place
Where is my hate

Sky falling over me
Now I cannot see
Stolen from my life
All I had

Life of agony
In tragedy
Ariving destiny
Voice inside of me
Won't let me be
Won't set me free

/

Chimaira - Everything You Love

Can't sleep with all this frustation, intoxication
I no longer have regret
So what if I cause hysteria, it's not my dilemma
I'm only here to inflict pain

I will never forgive the ones who pushed me away
Like a tumor, rage grows inside me
Reminding me every day, I will retaliate

A thorn in my side for eight years
The man who shedsno tears
I am here to expose you
All of the poison that you take
All people you violate
Your faith can't save you now

I will never forgive th ones who pushed me away
Like a tumor, rage grows inside me
Reminding me every day, I will retaliate

I am your family with the power
To end everything
Everything you love
You should be paranoid
I guess I no longer share this vision
I guess I have a new agenda
While you sink down into your hole
I am proud watching you lose control

I will never forgive th ones who pushed me away
Like a tumor, rage grows inside me
Reminding me every day

I will never forgive th ones who pushed me away
Like a tumor, rage grows inside me
Reminding me every day, I will retaliate

I am your family with the power
To end everything
Everything you love

/

Katatonia - Evidence

I hold my breath and check the time
One minute no collapse
If you only knew what I would do for you
One thirty breathing lapse
We're going in my voice is thin
When I tell you to remember
That no one will find you
My promise from the heart
If we part my pulse will guide you through

Be still for a moment
Everything depends upon you
If you die I will die too
Once we were heroes
But everything has changed since then
Now they recognize you too

I stay too long something's wrong
You walk out of the picture
I hold my breath and check the time
One thirty I collapse
We went in my voice was thin
When I told you to remember

I'm the evidence
You passed the test and that's so good for you
O love will you read the letters I will send to you
Will I come along
Will they let me out to take the test
O love is the score enough for me to pass the test

/

Amon Amarth - Cry Of The Black Birds

Raise your swords up high!
See the black birds fly!
Let them hear your rage!
Show no fear!
Attack!

Charge your horses across the fields
Together we ride into destiny
Have no fear of death, when it's your time
Oden will bring us home when we die!

The ground trembles under us
As we make our thunder charge
The pounding hooves strikes blinding fear
Into their heart

Our helmets shine in the sun
As we near their wall of shields
Some of them turn and run
When they hear our frenzied screams

Draw your swords to strike
Hear the Black Birds cry!
Let them feel your hate!
Show no fear!

(Attack! Attack! Attack! Attack!)

Charge your horses across the fields
Together we ride into destiny
Have no fear of death, when it's your time
Oden will bring us home when we die!

The enemies are in disarray
Ride them down as they run
Send them to their violent graves,
Don't spare anyone
Dead and wounded lie all around,
See the pain in their eyes
Over the field an eerie sound,
As we hear the ravens' cry

/

Morbid Angel - God Of Emptiness

Lies - And you fill their souls
With all oppressions of this world
And all the glory you receive?
So, What makes you supreme?
Lies - Your crown is falling
I offer fantasy
And you, you creator are
Blind with envy

Let the children come to me
Their mother loves me, so shall they
Woman, bleeding, ate my gifts
Man was close behind
Just like a snake I'm slithering
Thru my world divine
And like the cat I'm stalking
I'll take your soul and You'll
Be like me
In emptiness, free

Just bow to me faithfully
Bow to me splendidly

nedjelja, 28.10.2007.

Sve i svašta, ali opet ništa

Kratko i (ne)jasno…Nemam kaj puno pisati, osim da je bilo odlično na Korpiklaani-jima… Stvarno sam se super zabavila… Nedaju mi se pisati detalji, ionako ih možete pročitati muzika.hr… Naravno ako vas nekaj zanima… Ehh, ići ćemo u srijedu u boogaloo na noć vještica…. Bit će super (barem se nadam X) )… Ipak je ovo ranojutarnji post, zato zanemarite kaj pišem gluposti… Ugl. već konačno u kina dolazi Saw IV i Noć vještica (zaboravila sam kako se zove nastavak).. Tako da ćemo ove dane provodit u kinima... X)… Evo najave Saw-a… Nešto slično prošloj najavi… Vjerni čitatelji će znat o čemu pričamo.. X)…



E sada, premda mi je buraz stalno ka kompom i igra igrice, a ja ne bi bila živa da se ne priključim, otkrila sam istraživačku igricu… Naravno riješila sam prvi dio.. I jedva čekala da dođe drugi, i na kraju ispadne da trebam čekati još i treći… Evo linkova pa vi probajte riješiti… Ali počnite od prvog dijela inače ništa neće shvatiti..
Covert Front 1

Covert Front 2

Stvarno je zanimljiva kada se uživiš… Ali jeziva mi je ona pjesma u prvom dijelu kada se uđe u kuću… Moj buraz se usrao, jer smo je još i igrali po noći… Hehe.. Neki dan sam trebala burazu riješiti zadaću, tj. trebala sam mu napisati pjesmu o kiši.. I zahvaljujuću meni je dobio odličan… Hehe… Sada ćete vidjeti koji sam trud uložila na tu pjesmu (tipično moj stil, besmislen)...

KIŠA

Lišće miluje,
Cvijeće dodiruje,
Kišobrani se vade van,
I svi biježe u stan,
Mačke se sklanjaju,
Gliste se klanjaju,
Kabanice se oblače,
Baka peče kolače,
Tatu boli glava,
Mama mirno spava,
Kiša prestaje,
Sunce nestaje,
Svi imaju miran san,
Sutra ih čeka novi dan.

/

Slikica za doživljaj pjesme (jedna od najdražih)…

I to bi bilo to za danas…

|komentiraj 33| printaj| #|

srijeda, 17.10.2007.

Saving Us

Eto ljudi danas smo već konačno kupile karte za Korpiklaane… Ali naravno opće je poznato kod nas, da naravno koje smo sreće, uvijek trebamo ići u dva dućana ili mjesta kako bi nešto dobile u kompletu… E tako je i u ovoj situaciji… Trebale smo otići u dva dućana kako bi nabavile dvije karte, a istovremeno saznale dva super dućana, gdje izgleda da ćemo biti budući kupci… X)… Sada se samo čeka nedjelja… Škola nas uopće ne brine, jer se nadamo da ćemo sve srediti u subotu, ali to je naravno samo nadanje, jer smo se ove godine stvarno ulijenile, tako da vjerojatno ništa od toga… Eto danas smo već konačno dobile slike razreda na kojima na svu sreću nismo mi… Jer smo pobjegle sa slikanja… Na svu sreću samo su neke osobe skužile da nas nema… Ali dobro, na većini slika svi imaju iste face, jedva da se kome mijenjaju… X)…. Eh, ada jedna stvar koja me jako razljutila i ne samo mene nego i moju sestru… Zašto se netko druži s nekim, ako ga uopće ne prihvaća??… Jel to samo jedna mana koja osoba ima, da tu osobu nazove samo kada nema s nikim drugim razgovarat???… Jel se to zove izdajništvo???. Kako uopće ljudi shvaćaju izdaju????… Neki kada se izdaju njihove tajne, a neki pak na svoju izmišljeni način samo kako bi našli neki bezvezni razlog da se ne druže s njim… Neke stvari stvarno imaju granicu, a neke nemaju… Kako možeš poslije osobu pogledati u oči, družit se s njim, a kasnije ga nazvati izdajicom… Možda, ali naravno samo možda, ovaj post zna o kome govori… Neki ne znaju, neki znaju… Neki kažu da je previše priča o tome, ali čujte mora se nekako to raspravit… Meni govore da ja ne mogu prijeći preko nekih stvari… Samo da znate, ja sam prešla preko njih, samo ne želim vjerovati da te stvari koje su se dogodile, da te stvari koje je neka osoba izrekla su stvarne… Ja bi radije živjela u svijetu gdje je bilo sve u redu… Ne bi željela da ta osoba može ama baš sve pokvariti sva mišljenja i sjećanja koja sam imala za nju… Ja ne pamtim samo sadašnjost, ja pamtim i lijepe trenutke iz prošlosti… I to malo kaj imam mi se pokvari.. Zato šutim, zato izbjegavam, zato trpim… Ali sada više ne mogu… Ne mogu zamisliti da netko s kim sam ono planirala budućnost, me sada zove izdajicom… Traži pomoć samo kada zna da ga nitko drugi neće prihvatiti… Ne to je malo previše… Aj samo malo respekta kaj se dogodilo i kaj će se dogoditi… A ne samo misliti ama baš na sebe... Možda nismo savršene, možda nismo kako bi drugima pasali i njima se podređivali… Ali smo mi.. Mi nju poštujemo onakvu kako je… Ima mane, ima neke hirove, ima ispade, ali se zna kakva je i ne očekujem od nje promjenu.. To je ipak malo previše… Zašto od drugih očekuješ promjenu… Znaš da je nemoguće… Odlaziš k lažnim prijateljima, tj. tvojim navodnim prijateljima, samo kako te ne bi pamtili prema prošlosti… Stvaraš si novi identitet… I kakve to ima veze… Većina ljudi to i radi, ali samo u potrazi sa svojim novim i boljim životom… Zovi me kako hoćeš, ali izdajica nisam… Ja nisam ama baš ništa izdala… Sve tajne su još uvijek u mojoj glavi i više ničijoj… Ti izdajicu definiraj kako hoćeš, ali nemoj lagat… Sada sam napisala kaj sam htjela… Mogla sam joj to reći i u facu, ali neću jer jednostavno znam da me neće slušati… Sada… Jeste li znali da Serj Tankian ima svoj vlastiti album… Mi imamo negdje 3 pjesme s tog albuma i još neke singlice… Preporučamo Empty Walls i Saving Us… Ali sada ćemo staviti samo pjesmu Saving Us, jer nam je bolji spot… Hehe… Stvarno nam dođe da razmislimo o tome…



Hehe, jedva čekam koncert… Nadam se da ću nabavit neke dobre fotke… Skoro sam drpila plakat u shopu, ali jednostavno su me ljudi gledali… X)… Možda negdje na cesti… Još će se vidjet… Btw. uskoro će godina dana našeg bloga, a do sada smo objavile već 66 posteva… Jako odlična brojka.. X)…

Special dodatak (stvarno i istinito):

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četvrtak, 11.10.2007.

Drowning

Odjednom se probudim i nađem se u vodi… Pokušavam naći izlaz… Ne znam dal plivam prema površini ili prema dubini… Hladno mi je… Ko da sam u ledenoj vodi… Tražim izlaz… Ponestaje mi zraka…. Tek sada sam shvatila da plivam u dubinu… Bole me oči…. Vidim led… Cijela površina je zaleđena… Bojim se da neću uspjeti… Da neću stići do zraka… Mislim da sam gotova…

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Odjednom se dignem sva mokra iz kreveta… Bio je to ružan san koji sanjam već šesti dan za redom… Mislila sam da će prestati… A svakim danom je sve uvjerljiviji i uvjerljiviji… Svakim danom mislim da to više nije san… Ne mogu spavat… Cijelu noć se okrećem u krevetu… I kada bi uspjela zaspati opet bi sanjala taj san… Mislim da budem na kraju zamrzila spavanje… Palim cigaretu… To me smiruje… Gledam u vedru noć… Ali opet, nešto mi je tu čudno… Nešto mi fali, nešto mi je pretiho…. Gdje je moj pas???… Inače je nemiran u zadnje vrijeme isto ko i ja… Ko da smo na neki način povezani…. Tražim ga po stanu… Pa nije mogao pobjeći, svaku večer zaključavam vrata… Tražim ga… Nisam ga našla… Kako bi došla do vrata i vidjela da su otvorena… Uhvatila me jeza… Osjećala sam kako mi krv teče venama… Zgasila sam tu cigaretu…. I pokušavala sam proviriti kroz vrata… I onda me omeo neki zvuk u kuhinji… Ko da je nešto palo…. Prepala sam se… Skoro da mi je srce stalo… Krenula sam prema kuhinji… Iako mi je mozak govorio da ne, ali jednostavno moja znatiželja mi nije dopuštala da stanem… Ušla sam unutra, i samo sam osjetila bol na mojoj glavi… Netko me je udario….

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Još mi je malo zraka ostalo… Nevjerojatno… Ja sam cijelo vrijeme sanjala taj san, kako bi mi se na kraju ostvario… Ovo su bila moja zadnja sjećanja prije moje smrti… Kako me je netko onesvijestio u mojoj vlastitoj kuhinji… Da mi se ostvari moja najgora noćna mora… Ali što je najgore, ja nemam nikoga tko će me se sjećati… Svi su me napustili u ranom djetinjstvu… Roditelji su doživjeli nesreću, i kako bi mi djed i baka umrli od starosti… Oduvijek sam bila prepuštena sama sebi… I što je još najgore, nisam bila ni dovoljno dobra ni da se brinem sama za sebe… Ma pogledajte me kako sam završila… Baš kada sam mislila da je kraj svega, neka snažna ruka me podigne prema površini… Ja sam već odustala od življenja i baš sam se pomirila s tim kako ću otić… Ali uvijek mora biti netko tu da mene spasi, ko da ja ne mogu sama sebe… Moram postati više sposobna… Ja nisam žena koja može preživljavati… Što je najgore nisam ni znala ko mi želi smrt… Ja sam anonimna žena, jedva znana u javnosti, a kamoli u susjedstvu, jedino gazdi kojem plaćam stanarinu… Ali njemu sam samo ime, a ne osoba…

Odjednom sam se probudila u bolnici… Pokraj mene je bio nepoznat muškarac… Pitala sam se tko je to… Htjela sam progovoriti, ali stavio mi je ruku na usta da šutim… Prvi put nakon dugog vremena sam osjetila ljudski kontakt… Mislila sam da je to nemoguće… Vidjela sam da sam povezana s mnogim žicama i aparatima… Baš sam se pitala što će mi sve to… Kako bi došao liječnik i rekao mi groznu vijest… Rekao mi je da imam tumor na mozgu i da sam trebala prije doći na pregled kako bi mi ga prije dijagnosticirali, i da bi možda imala spasa za preživljavanje… Ali ja nikako nisam htjela umrijeti nekom opakom bolesti… Nikada u životu nisam ni imala prilike ni živjeti… Samo svojim osuđeničkim životom… Nikada nisam nikome bila dovoljno dobra…. A uvijek sam se bojala promjena… No odlučila sam… Ne želim i ono malo života kaj mi je ostalo provesti u krevetu, mučeći se i grčeći na bolovima… Pala je noć… Nisam mogla spavati… To je i uobičajeno u zadnje vrijeme… Moj san je oduvijek bio da naučim letjeti… I ovu noć sam i imala šansu… Digla sam se… Izvadila sam si sve igle i žice na koje sam bila spojena… Jedva sam ustala nisam mogla vjerovati kako samo slaba… Došla sam do ogromnog prozora… I pogledala u noć… Tu svaku noć, mjesec i zvijezde koje sam gledala i proteklih šest dana… Vidjela sam puno ljudi i puno automobila na cesti… Lijepo je puhao vjetar… Uff kako mi je to godio… Samo sam stala na rub prozora i uživala na vjetru… I baš sam mislila kako bi bilo lijepo pošteno se naspavati… I samo sam se malo nagnula prema naprijed i utonula u san iz kojeg se više nikada nisam probudila….

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Puka inspiracija kasno navečer… Došlo mi je da napišem nešto i odmah mi evo ideje.. Ova priča ustvari govori o jednoj osobi koja uopće nije imala prijatelja i koja se naučila živjeti i preživljavati bez njih, iako joj baš nije uspijevalo, ali dobro… Ali naravno nije baš lijepo kada nemaš baš nikoga s kim budeš pričala… Iako je bila usamljena, nije bila spremna tako skoro oprostiti tuđe pogreške… Makar joj to značilo da prekine kontakte s jedinom osobom koja je bila s njom u nekakvom kontaktu… Što je još žalosnije, kada te nitko ne zna i ti umreš, to je kao da nisi ni postojao u ovom svijetu… Ko da se nisi ni rodio… Žalosno, ali još uvijek postoje takvi ljudi na svijetu… Zaboravljeni ili odbačeni… Žive u podrumima i kreću se nevidljivo drugim ljudima… Ili drugim riječima ne smetajući drugim ljudima da žive svoj život… Ima jedna izreka u boxu… Sjeti se kako malo živiš, a koliko dugo ćeš biti mrtav… Zato je po meni da se živi dan ko da ti je posljednji… Na svoj način, a ne na drugačiji…

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nedjelja, 07.10.2007.

The More I See - The Less I Believe

Preporučam tu pjesmu da se posluša…. Evo i link…. Arch Enemy - Instinct btw. imate lyrics u box-u…Čim sam tu pjesmu poslušala odmah mi se svidjela… E sada o stvarnom svijetu… Prvo izlet u Salzburg je otkazan iz nekih debilskih razloga, drugo zahvaljujem se Matiji koji se već konačno sjetio mi snimiti CD njegovog benda u kojem je bubnjar… Jedva čekam da ga poslušam, da vidim kako zvuče…. Treće, jučer sam bila u Boogaloo-u na Iron Maiden tribute i bile je predobro… Imam par snimaka na mobitelu, ali se niš ne kuži kaj se pjeva… Samo se čuje kreštanje, jer se preglasna bila muzika… I baš taj isti mobitel mi je prije par minuta srao i riknuo mi je ekran… Kako bi ga za par minuta upalila i kako bi mi opet delao… Čudno, ali istinito…. Kako sam ranije otišla s koncerta zbog prokletog busa (zna se Samoborček), to se neće dogoditi kada ću ići na Korpiklaaniju, jer definitivno ostajem do kraja i onda idem prespavat kod bake…. Jedva čekam… I sada se ja malo moram požurit, jer mi buraz visi za vratom da se požurim, kako bi on igrao igrice… Mrzim kada on tako zauzme komp i onda nitko ništa ne može raditi na njemu…. No dobro…. Kao što sam u nekom postu prije napisala da smo dobile sve albume od Korna tako sam ih i sve poslušala, ovaj najnoviji album posebno…. I najviše mi je u uho ušla pjesma Kiss, koju isto imate u boxevima kao lyrics…. Making Kiss + "Video" i Pjesma Bez spota tj. samo riječi… Ima i još dobrih pjesama, ali ova je nekako najjezovitija… Kada već sada pogledam opet vidim tu ovisnost o spotovima… Joj, morat ću jednom ubacit koju sliku… Ali jednog lijepo dana… Sada se i ja moram opet malo požurit, jer ću zakasnit na bus i opet neću dobiti onaj famozni CD od početka posta… Kao i uvijek, opet bez veze napisane riječi… Ništa pametno za reć, tko zna možda jednom mi baš dođe da filozofiram, i onda ćete opet čitati one duge ripovske postove i pitat ćete se gdje je tu taj vražji kraj… Već su se neki ljudi zabrinuli kada su vidjeli prošli post kratak… Jednostavno su se pitali kaj nam tj. mi je… Ali samo da znate… Ova prokleta škola toliko iscrpljuje me da više ne znam ni kaj da radim sa sebe… Cijeli dan mi se svodi na to da dođem u školu i počinjem od drugih prepisivati zadaću… Većinu sam i knjiga prestala nositi, kao i pisati zadaće… Malo sam počela odgovarati profesorima i ljudima koji mi užasno idu na živce… Sve više se prepirem sa svima, kako bi jednog dana išla u školu i kako bi mi jedna cura iz razreda rekla da me se svi u razredu boje… A ja onu začuđujuću facu, kaj ja njima radim… Niti tučem ljude, niti ih jedem, niti ne bacam kletve na njih, ali opet s druge strane imaju neko strahopoštovanje… Hehe… Sada im mogu doć i reć da ću ih ukleti… Ma šalim se… Da više ne brijem gluposti… Odo ja… Do sljedeće inspiracije… Tj. terorizacije… X)…

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