ponedjeljak, 22.11.2010.

One-Eyed Monster (2008)

Jednooko čudovište (2008)

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Produkcija: Liberation Entertainment
Redatelj: Adam Fields
Scenarij: Adam Fields, Jordan Fields i Scott Fields
Spec. Efekti: Monster FX i VFX Collective

Uloge:
Amber Benson (Laura).............Jason Graham (Jonah)
Charles Napier (Mohtz)...........Jeff Denton (Jim)
Ron Jeremy (Ron)....................Veronica Hart (Veronica)

Film je imao DVD premijeru 28. travnja, 2008 godine
Trajanje: 84 minute
Foršpan filma...

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SADRŽAJ:
''- Grupica od deset ljudi odlazi u jednu brvnaru koja se nalazi na planinskom predjelu Sjeverne Karoline kako bi u njoj, okruženi mirnoćom prirode, snimila pornić.
Tijekom male pauze između snimanja seks scena legendarnog porno glumca Rona Jeremyja u šumi dok je mokrio napadane nepoznata vanzemaljska sila, te mu uđe u penis, koji se tijekom snimanja sljedeće scene odvoji od svog vlasnika i krene u ubojiti pohod čineći masakr na svakom koraku.
Tko će od filmske ekipe preživjeti seksualnu glad koju ima opasni vanzemaljac, čija je namjera da se što prije razmnoži na našoj planeti, a tko će pasti kao još jedna žrtva 24.75 cm dugog penisa najvećeg američkog ševca Rona Jeremyja?''


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RECENZIJA:
- Vrlo brzo sam nabavio ovaj film, no nekako i neoprostivo sam ga uspio zaboraviti pogledati, te mi je dvije godine stajao u ladici...no sada sam ispravio tu grešku, jer dok se moj DVD još nije ohladio vi dobivate najnoviju i jednu od najluđih recenzija. Oki doki let's go...


Što valja kod filma:
- orginalna priča
- scenarij i dijalozi bogati humorom
- film podsjeća (bilo scenama bilo razgovorom) na par filmova - ''The Thing'', ''Evil Dead'', ''Dreamcatcher'', ''Jaws''
- sadrži mnogo samoparodije, satire i nostalgije prema starim pornićima
- nekoliko jako smješnih scena i trajanje od samo 84 minute
- Ron Jeremy , Veronica Hart i Charles Napier
- scena u 52 minuti kad Mohtz priča o svom iskustvu i Vijetnamu
* u filmu se spominje film ''Woman in Love: A Story of Madame Bovary'' (1978) u kojem su po prvi put glumili zajedno Ron Jeremy i Veronica Hart, što je istinit podatak (svakako ga porno ljubcima preporučam, jer je jedan od najboljih koje sam gledao iz tog vremena...a nije na odmet spomenuti da u njemu ulogu ima i prsata seks bomba 80-tih Samantha Fox)



Što ne valja kod filma:
- skoro sva ubojstva su off screen
- osim što jednom vidimo jedan par ženskih dojki golotinje u filmu nema
- nema krvavih prizora
- prokleta kamera je u nekim scenama drhtava ala serija ''24'' način
- CGI efekti na kraju filma
- ponegdje se osjeća scenaristička slabost u pisanju scena (kao ona gdje pokušavaju srediti penis pomoću jedne seks naprave, ali dok dvojica se žrtvuju u jednoj sobi drugi čekaju u drugoj sa zabravljenim vratima.... ili ona scena kad Jim bježi u motornim sanjakama te ga penis sustigne, kokne i uspije se vratiti natrag za tili čas, iako je ovaj odmaglio već dobrano od kolibe)

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Završna riječ:
- Nakon svakakojakih ludosti što sam ih pogledao tijekom života, evo jedne koja mi se u svakom pogledu svidjela (bez obzira na gornje minuse...tako je, bez obzira na njih).
Znamo da je film ultraniskobudžetan (mislim da je najveći dio budžeta otišao upravo na glumce veterane tj. na veterane porna Jeremyja i Hart, te odličnog glumca velikih i malih ekrana Napiera).
Kad vidite sadržaj i reklamu samog filma o tome kako je glavni negativac tj. čudovište ubojiti kurac...ops..penis, a ljubitelj ste svih vrsta hororaca onda se nema što čekati nego ga što prije pogledati .

Iskreno, na početku sam mislio da ću zažaliti i da ću se razočarati, te da će ovo biti još jedan ogavni trash filmić, kojih filmska horor industrija izbacuje na desetke. Kako sam se prevario.
Ovo je bilo iznenađenje večeri i moram reći da sam uživao u cijeloj minutaži filma. Ne samo da je scenarij lijepo napisan (ipak ima par mini mrlja), nego je dijalog duhovit i uspijeva nasmijati mene osobno, kojeg je malo teže vidjeti u tom elementu kad su u pitanju komedije, i to u više navrata.
Glumačka postava je fenomenalna gledajući da su to skoro glumci amateri i gledatelj se brzo uživi u likove koje glume.
Od mlađih glumaca izdvajam Jasona Grahama kao Jonaha koji svojom sigurnom glumom daje filmu posebnu čar. Tip zrači jedinstvenom horor karizom i svakako bih ga volio vidjeti u nekom ozbiljnijem horor filmu.

Što se tiče veterana Rona Jeremyja i Veronice Hart, te meni uvijek dragog filmskog glumca Charlesa Napiera oni su odlični. Scena gdje Ron i Veronica pričaju o prošlim vremenima kad je pornografija bila profinjenija od ove danas sirove i većinom nezanimljive, te kako ih je gledajući u porno mjerilima vrijeme pregazilo je ujedno dirljiva, ali i odličan uvid u jedno sjajno doba koje je najbolje prikazano u ''Boogie Nights''. No, evo mali djelić dijalog da se i sami uvjerite:

Ron: ''- How you feel, that's what matters. Look at me. I don't look like a porn star, except for my cock. But I play the fool, and I get the joke. I'm in on it, and that makes it kind of hip. And I try to bring a different character into every role that I play. And that gives me confidence. But I can't suck my own dick any more.''
Veronica: ''- Awww, sweetie, I'm sorry.''
Ron: ''- With the added weight and the back pains, all I can do is kiss the tip.''

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Jeremy, iako ima skoro pa epizodnu ulogu glumački je prirodan i vrlo ugodan (recimo scena kad se iskrcaju iz autobusa pa kad popriča sa vozačem, pa kasnije i sa šminkericom ili prije nego umre kaže: ''- Hey, Jonah remember when I fuck that girl that time.. ''), te mi je žao što nije imao veću minutažu. V. Hart je doduše slabija od Rona, no na kraju filma ima svoj momenat (iako mi je draži onaj gdje poševi redatelja).
Napier (skoro je i sam jednom postao porno glumac), iako je imao mnogo epizodnih uloga (nekih lošijih nekih odličnih) ova mu je svakako među najboljima, a po meni i najbolja. Prejebeno je odglumio lulavog 'Nam veterana, a ona scena kad sa ozbiljnim i ustrašenim licem priča kako je nedaleko od Da Nanga cijeli njegov vod pobio pomahnitali kurac je ravna onoj sceni kad Shawov kapetan Quint priča svoju priču o USS Indianapolis u ''Raljama'', ali sa prikrivenim humornim tonom kakav smo vidjeli u slično ispričanoj sceni kad je Frost Freda Williamsa pričao o svojim dogodovštinama u jebenom 'Namu u ''From Dusk Till Dawn''. Scena za Oskara kažem vam.

Eto, u filmu nema krvavih scena, pa iako je ekipa u njemu snimala pornić, nema niti malo golotinje (osim već spomenutog para ženskih grudiju koje vidimo na 3-4 sekunde).
Većini će to smetati, meni nije. Ja sam se dobro nasmijao i film je ispao po pričanju priče mnogo ozbiljniji (bogme i napetiji i zanimljiviji...a ipak je ovo film o penisu ubojici) nego su to neki drugi creature feature filmovi koji se diče sa ogromnim budžetima i boljim monsterima.
Ovo je već drugi film nakon ''Bad Biology'' u kojem muška kita radi nerede...ali po meni je ovaj daleko zabavniji. Dakako...s moje strane topla preporuka ako volite gledati ovako niskobudžetne filmiće. Ako ništa drugo ovo je svakako film za ekipu...kako bi rekao HorrorHR na svom sajtu.


THE SCENA:

Wanda: [runs into a cabin] ''- Someone help me! Angel's got a dick in her mouth!"
[everyone looks at her with indifference]
Rock: [shrugs] ''- And...?''
Wanda: "It's not attached to anything!"

Mohtz priča o svojoj dogodovštini u 'Namu kad je njegov vod pobio pohmanitali penis (nešto kasnije i sam postane žrtva kad mu Ronova kita slomije vrat)
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Mohtz: "- Hmm. Mine here is the 405th Infantry. Outside of Da Nang, South Vietnam, 1968. Whole platoon got wiped out, but it wasn't Charlie."

Jonah: "- You're shitting me. Friendly fire killed your whole platoon?"

Mohtz: "- No, no, not exactly. One night, me and the C.O. were pulling guard duty, and we're sharing a joint... Thai Stick. I'm really stoned. And all of a sudden, we see this streak of light across the sky. Zoom! Waaa! And it looks like it lands about two klicks northeast of camp. So the C.O. says, "I'm gonna check it out." I said, "go ahead, cap man". More doobie for me, you know. So off he goes and uh... it could have been 10 minutes or two hours. I don't know. I was stoned. But he comes back and I notice that he's acting weird. But now, oh... now, no problem, it's just the Thai Stick kicking in. Well man, pretty soon he starts jumping around like his pants are on fire. I'm not shittin' you. And he... off comes his pants. He rips them off. Rips his skivvies off. Now I got my C.O. standing there in front of me, buck naked from the waist down. And then something happened, man, that... uh... boot camp did not prepare me for. This guy's pecker... his dick, ripped itself off his body and slithered towards the tent. So, the C.O.'s screaming like hell before he expires. Pretty soon, I can't hear him because dozens of screams are coming from the tents where all the platoon was. Want to know what the hell it sounded like? I think it sounded like... 30 men getting massacred by a dick as it shoved itself through them in rapid speed. So, I went over and hid behind a rock for about an hour and had to listen to my whole platoon being murdered. I think I heard one guy getting a shot or two off, but he then screamed as he got killed too. So, after it stopped... I very cautiously, believe me, crept into the officers tent to get a radio to get some air support and... I see the dick lying there on a sleeping bag and it looks like it's looking right back at me. But it looked, you know, fucking weak, man. And it was like in this, you know, shriveled... what kind of period do you call it?

T.J.: "- A refractory period. Happens just after sex."

Mohtz: "- Yeah, yeah, you know, I could have killed it right then, but I was so stoned I was afraid that I'd miss. And on the other hand, I knew it was only a matter of time before... you know, it would be back in action again. So, without taking my eyes off it, I get on the radio and have them chopper in two Saigon whores. So, for the next half-hour, I'm holding my weapon on this dick lying on a sleeping back in the blood-splattered tent. Now, I figured it won't know I'm stoned, so he won't jump me, you know? So, the chopper arrived just in time, thank God, because now the dick was getting big and hard. So, I tell the two whores when they showed up in the tent, "look, hey, I'll do anything, man. I'll take you to the States, anything, if you just lie down there and spread your legs for me." Well, I guess "states" was the magic word because I never two Vietnamese whores taking off their panties and clothes so quickly in all your life. Now, the dick must have smelled dinner because... choo! It makes a beeline for the whores. So I watch, and I wait, and watch. Finally, finally it blows it's load, I grabbed it, and ran it outside the tent. I threw it in a bunker. God... Jesus Christ man! About 10 seconds later, out runs about 15 gooks. And I could have nailed any one of them but no, I made a priority decision. Threw in a grenade. Yelled, "fire in the hole!" Fa-foom! Well, guess what. Now it's raining dick. Yeah, raining dick! I crawled into a whisky bottle. I got back to the States and I've been in there ever since."

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<< Arhiva >>

Recenzije filmova...

Podžanrovi:
Animal attack filmovi
Biti glumac u horor žanru - dio prvi i dio drugi
Giallo
Remakomanija...

Filmovi kojima ćete se uvijek vraćati - (remek-djela):
28 Days Later (2002)
30 Days of Night (2007)
Alien (1979)
Alien Hunter (2003)
Altered (2006)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Avatar (2009)
Batoru rowaiaru (2000)
BATMAN: Dead End (2003)
Black Christmas (1974)
Black Water (2007)
Blade (1998)
Blade II (2002)
Book of Eli (2010)
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
Stuart Gordon's Castle Freak (1995)
Citizen X (1995)
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Cloverfield (2008)
Dark Star (1974)
Dead of Night (1974)
Dog Soldiers (2002)
Evil Dead: The Musical (2003)
Evil Dead: Book of Dead (1983)
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)
Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness (1993)
Fido (2006)
Fright Night (1985)
Gosti iz Galaksije (1981)
Gwoemul (2006)
House of Wax (1953)
Hulk (2003)
Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Izbavitelj (1976)
Jack The Ripper (1988) *TV
Jaws (1975)
John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
Q (1982)
Leptirica (1973)
M (1931)
Martyrs (2008)
Modern Vampires(1998)
Monsters vs. Aliens: Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space (2009)
Motel Hell (1980)
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
Mulberry Street (2006)
Murder Party (2007)
Night of the Hell Hamsters (2006)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Otis (2008)
Parents (1989)
Phobia 2 (2009)
Piranha (1978)
Planet Hulk (2010)
Planet of Vampires (1965)
Predator (1987)
Predator 2 (1990)
Rabid (1977)
[REC] (2007)
[REC]2 (2009)
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Romasanta: The Werewolf Hunt (2004)
Shivers (1975)
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Slither (2006)
Solomon Kane (2009)
Split Second (1992)
Stephen King's Cat's Eye (1985)
The Bad Seed (1956)
The Birds (1963)
The Cottage (2008)
The Dark Crystal (1982)
The Descent (2005)
The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)
The Fly (1958)
The Fly (1986)
The Hitcher (1986)
The Hole 3D (2009)
The Howling (1981)
The Hunt for Gollum (2009)
The Last House on the Left (1972)
The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974)
The Lost Boys (1987)
The Monster Squad (1987)
The People Under the Stairs (1991)
The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Field Guide (2008)
The Thing From Another World (1951)
The War of the Worlds (1953)
The WolfMan(1941)
THEM! (1954)
Trick 'r Treat (2008)
Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2010)
Turtles Forever (2009)
Vampire Hunter D: BloodLust (2000)*anime
WALL-E (2008)
Ward 13 (2003)
Warning Sign (1985)
Westworld (1973)
Zombieland (2009)

Skoro savršeni filmovi:
9 (2009)
Alien Trespass (2009)
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Blade: Trinity (2004)
Burke and Hare (2010)
Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things (1972)
C.H.U.D (1984)
Deep Rising (1998)
Demons (1985)
Demons 2 (1986)
Feast (2005)
Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)
From Hell (2001)
Galaxy of Terror (1981)
Horror Express (1973)
Hybrid (2010)
Innocent Blood (1992)
It! The Terror From Beyond Space (1958)
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)
Jason and Argonauts (1963)
Jaws 2 (1978)
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
La Horde (2009)
Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
Mutant (1984)
Mutants (2009)
My Name is Bruce (2007)
One-Eyed Monster (2008)
One Dark Night (1983)
Orca: The Killer Whale (1977)
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lighning Thief (2020)
Phantasm (1979)
Phantoms (1998)
Planet Terror (2007)
Predators (2010)
Prince of Darkness (1987)
Resident Evil (2002)
Rogue (2007)
Quarantine (2008)
Sinister (2012)
Splinter (2008)
Superman/Doomsday (2007)
The Boy Who Cried Werewolf (2010)
The Descent 2 (2009)
The Gate (1987)
The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)
The Plague of the Zombies (1966)
The Prowler (1981)
The Mutant Chronicles (2008)
The Zombie Diaries (2006)
War of the Worlds (2005)
Wind Chill (2007)
Wolfen (1981)
Zona Mrtvih (2009)

Vrlo slabi filmovi (jedanput ih pogledati i zaboraviti ih):
7-gwang-goo (2011)
30 Days of Night: Dark Days (2010)
Altitude (2010)
Atrocious (2010)
Blackout (2009)
Black Sheep (2006)
Blood & Chocolate (2007)
Big Bad Wolf (2006)
Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
Chaw (2009)
C.H.U.D II: Bud the Chud (1989)
D-Wars (2007)
Day of the Dead (2008)
Daybreakers (2009)
Dead Space: Downfall (2008)
Doghouse (2009)
Doom (2005)
Dreamcatcher (2003)
Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2010)
Eclipse (2010)
Fade to Black (1980)
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
Frostbiten (2006)
Funhouse (1981)
Funny Man (1994)
Halloween (2007)
Humanoids From the Deep (1996) TV*
Hypothermia (2010)
Infestation (2009)
Jaws 3D (1983)
Jaws: Revenge (1987)
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Krvopijci 1989)
Legion (2010)
Loch Ness Terror (2008)
Lord of Illusions (1995)
Mor (1992)
New Moon (2009)
Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)
Night of the Living Dorks (2004)
Night of the Demons (2009)
One Missed Call (2008)
Orcs! (2011)
Outlander (2008)
Piranha 2: The Spawning (1981)
Prophecy (1979)
Shark Night 3D (2011)
The Being (1983)
The Breed (2001)
The Burrowers (2008)
The Devil Inside (2012)
The Gate II: Trespassers (1990)
The Hills Run Red (2009)
The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu (2009)
Troll (1986)
Robert Kurtzman's The Rage (2007)
The Reptile (1966)
The Tribe (2009)
The Unborn (2009)
Timber Falls (2007)
Twilight (2008)
Scourge (2008)
Shadow Zone: The Undead Express (1996)
Sint (2010)
Skyline (2010)
Spontaneous Combustion (1990)
Starship Troopers 3: Maruder (2008)
Vikaren (2007)
Undead (2003)
Under the Mountain (2009)
Unearthed (2007)

Filmovi tako loši da na kraju ispadnu dobri:
Nightmare at Noon (1988)
Parasite (1982)
The Dark Lurking (2010)
The Giant Claw (1957)


DOKUMENTARCI
His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th (2009)
More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead (2011)
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (2010)
Scream greats, vol. 1: Tom Savnini Mater of Horror Effects (1986)
The Perfect Scary Movie (2005)
Zombies: A Living History (2011)

Recenzija video-igara:
Clive Barker's Jericho (2007)
Evil Dead: Hail to the King (2000)
Plants vs. Zombies (2009)
Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords (2007)
Return to Castle Wolfenstein (2001)
TERRORDROME: Rise of the Boogeyman
The Suffering - The Prison is Hell (2004)

Recenzija figura:
Cult Classics Series 5: Medieval Ash (NECA)

Pisci SF-a, Fantasya i Horor žanra:
Robert Ervin Howard (1906 - 1936) I dio; II dio

Recenzija knjiga:
"Blackout" - Mislav Pasini
"Bojno polje Istra" - Danilo Brozović
"Cell" - Stephen King
"Going to Pieces: The Rise and Fall of the Slasher (1978 - 1986)" - Adam Rockoff
"Kriza - Hrvatski horor" - Mihalinec/Grgić
"Mrtva Straža" - Mislav Pasini
''Let the Right One In'' - John Ajvide Lindqvist
"The Silence of the Lambs" - Thomas Harris
"Točka dezorijentacije : Zombiji su među nama" - Mislav Pasini
"Sumrak Razbijenog Uma" - Mislav Pasini
"Watchers" - Dean R. Koontz
Žuti titl - drugačija filmska enciklopedija (autori: Velimir Grgić i Marko Mihalinec)
"Xavia" - Damir Hoyka

Biografije, činjenice o monstrumima i ikonama strave...

Top lista najboljih:
12 naj scena eksplozije glave...
Najbolji 'animal attack' filmovi
Najgori 'animal attack filmovi + Bonus
14 najiritantnijih likova u hororima
Naj pijanci i alkosi u horor, SF i fantasy žanru....top 15
Deset najboljih pasa
10 naj zombija...
9 Najboljih košarkaških momenata u SF, Horor i Fantasy filmovima...
22 Najtužnije filmske smrti u horor, SF i fantasy žanru...
25 Najboljih scena sa zahodom - dio prvi i dio drugi
22 Najbolja SF oružja iz videoigara II dio I dio
32 najbolje mjuze u horor filmovima
Najbolji ljubavni parovi...top 20
35 naj serijskih ubojica u svijetu zabave 35 - 30, 29 - 16, 15 - 01
45 najgrudiju u horor filmovima 45 - 30, 29 - 16, 15 - 01
46 najboljih horror scena sa vratima - Dio prvi i Dio drugi
35 najboljih horor postera (35-28). (27-21), (20-11), (10-1)
Najboljih 5 vozila (+ Bonus) u nekom horor i SF filmu...
50 najboljih partitutra u Horor, SF i Fantasy filmovima I. dio i II.dio

Bad guys:
Alien
Aliens
Gremlini
Michael Myers
The Thing

Good guys:
Abraham van Helsing
Ashley J. Williams
Red Sonja
Solomon Kane

Redatelji Horora, SF-a i Fantasya:
John Carpenter

Scream Queens:
Dee Wallace
Linnea Quigley
Patricia Tallman

Horor Legende:
Bill Paxton
Corey Haim
Dick Miller
Tom Atkins
Udo Kier

Legende FX-a i specijalnih efekata:
Rob Bottin
Stan Winston

Znastvene činjenice, teorije i iskonska povjest:
2-4-5 TRIOXIN i Ernie Kaltenbrunner činjenice...
NECRONOMICON
Slučaj "Capitoli 61'"
ZOMBIJI - fenomen horor žanra i vudu religije
Zombiji - vrste filmskih nemrtvih
Zombi kronologija u horor filmu
Zašto volimo horore...
Moja teorija o Michaelu Myers

Liste i popisi:
Popis filmova o Frankensteinu...
Jekyll-Hyde lista filmova...
Gojira-Godzilla lista...
Lista filmova rađenih prema Stephen Kingovim novelama
Božićna lista horor filmova
Sva ubojstva Michael Myersa

Najstrašnije scene filma:
Scena No.1 ''Andaluzijski pas'' (1929)
Scena No.2 ''Se7en'' (1995)
Scena No.3 "Don't look now" (1973)
Scena No.4 "Pee-wee's Big Adventure" (1985)
Scena No.5 "Le Locataire/The Tenant" (1976)
Scena No.6 "Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory" (1971)
Scena No.7 "Reservoir Dogs" (1992)
Scena No.8 "Freaks" (1932)
Scena No.9 "Oldboy" (2003)
Scena No.10 "Misery" (1990)
Scena No.11 "Saving Private Ryan" (1998)
Scena No.12 "The Deep" (1977)
Scena No.13 "Irreversible" (2002)

Film Dana:
Body Parts (1991)
Hambuster (2010)
Korgoth of Barbaria (2006) Pilot epizoda
Pin (1988)
The Dummy (1982)
The Girl Next Door (2007)

In Memoriam
Mako

Copyright 2006. - 2008 Sva Prava pridržana Frogbros.

 

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