charisma1

ponedjeljak, 18.12.2006.

Thinking about you...

Ma, eto, sad sam se ufurala u tu neku fazu konstantnog razmišljanja i filozofiranja u mojoj glavi, pa eto, da ostavim trag toga i na blogu... rofl

Hepi sam... to mogu reći. Ali se s druge strane i bojim. Bojim se jer znam da «sve što je lijepo kratko traje» i znam da to naše «prijateljstvo» neće dugo trajati... E, sad, zašto sam prijateljstvo stavila pod navodnike... pa zato, jer to nikad neće biti pravo prijateljstvo. Barem ne s moje strane... ja u njemu ne vidim samo prijatelja, ja se zaljubljujem u njega. Polako, ali osjećam to u sebi. I znam da to ne može funkcionirati na taj način... Znam, jer niti ja nisam mogla biti «prava» prijateljica dečkima koji su bili zaljubljeni u mene, a s kojima sam imala dogovor da budemo prijatelji. Nisam mogla biti iskrena, jer sam se za svaku stvar prvo morala upitati da li će to osobu kojoj to pričam možda povrijediti. Morala sam paziti. Nisam mogla izraziti svoje osjećaje na način na koji mogu sa «pravim» prijeteljima. Nisam, jer u toj igri nisu bili samo prijateljski osjećaji, već i nešto više. Kao što je i s moje strane prema njemu... Zaljubljujem se. Nisam to htjela, barem ne još i niti ne na takav način, ali što ga više i više upoznajem, više i više mi se sviđa. Baš kao stvoren za mene. Nije savršen, dapače, ima on mana, ali te mane ga čine baš takvim kakav je – posebnim! I razmišljam o njemu, i želim provoditi vrijeme s njim, a znam da to nije moguće...ne tako kako ja to želim...
I opet, nadam se... i dalje ne učim na greškama i još uvijek se nadam... Nadam se da će iz tog «prijateljstva» biti i nešto više... Nadam se da će i on početi osjećati prema meni, ono što ja osjećam prema njemu... Ali neki čovječuljak (veoma pametan) je još uvijek u meni i govori mi da se to nikad neće desiti. Neki razuman čovječuljak, koji zna. Nikad neće biti ništa više

Ne, ne spuštaj pogled. Potraži odgovore u njegovim očima, jer oni su tu zbog tebe i za tebe. Vidiš li? Možeš li me voljeti zbog mojih očiju, pita on očima, i zbog moje ljubavi, ljubavi? Zbog moje želje. Jer ti si svaka kaplja moga života, svaki otkucaj moga srca zove tvoje ime. Moj dah. Moje postojanje. Moj prvi i posljednji pogled. Jer ti si ono za čime ću žudjeti kad prestanem postojati.
Viktoria Faust – U anđeoskom liku zvijeri

Radiohead - Thinking About You

Been thinking about you, the way I cut your hair
Your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there
But I'm still no one, and you're my star
What do you care?

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Should I still love you, still see you in bed
When I'm playing with myself?
What do you care when the other men are far, far better?

All the things you got,
all the things you need
I bought you cigarettes,
and pried the company to come and see you, honey

I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep?
Those people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet
They don't know what I know.
Why should you care when I'm not there?

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Should I still love you, still see you in bed
When I'm playing with myself?
What do you care when I'm not there?

All the things you got
that you'll never need
all the things you got
I bled and I bleed to please you

Been thinking about you...

18.12.2006. u 17:38 • 3 Komentara • Print • # • ^

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Komentari da/ne?

That's me, myself and I...

Just don't leave, don't leave

SOMETHING ABOUT ME...

...moje dvije najbolje frendice o meni...

"Zanimljiva, otvorena i komunikativna. Jaaako iskrena (nadam se)! ;) Osoba od povjerenja! Ponekad malo nepromišljena, ali to nema veze. To poništi tvoja simpatičnost. Luckasta si! Slatka! Hehe! TVRDOGLAVA u pičku materinu!A nije niti to uvijek negativno.... "

"Rekla bih da si lijepa, luda, pažljiva, nikad ne budeš dopustila da te neko zeza ili vuče za nos. Tvrdoglava, ponekad temperamentna, jako dobra prijateljica i osoba od povjerenja...."

Ljudska bića sanjaju da je svijet normalan, predvidiv, smislen. Sanjaju da se jednoga dana neće dogoditi to da njihov svijet postane samo blijeda maštarija i da se slabašne kulise neće srušiti i da nikada neće ugledati sivi kostur konstrukcije koji je taj svijet nosio. Puka sanjarija. Ja sam prestala sanjati. S time sam prestala vjerovati. U što? U sve. Još sam samo ponekad postavljala pitanja. A jedno pitanje koje mi se samo nametnulo bilo je i ovo: Ljudi sanjaju, a ja ne sanjam više i da li sam onda ja, s obzirom na sve, više ljudsko biće, čak i ako nisam ništa drugo? Hm. Stvar za razmisliti.

Znaš li što sam ja? Ja sam jedno egoistično govno od ljudskog bića. To sam ja. Nije da ne volim sebe. Ja OBOŽAVAM sebe! Ali jednako tako znam kakva sam i pitam se zašto mi je dopušteno da budem takva. Znaš li koliko mi malo treba da popustim sve kočnice i postanem… Ne znam. Nešto ružno. To je kao da ti je rečeno: Evo ti krila, leti, čini što hoćeš sebi na zadovoljstvo, ali znaj da će se, kad se vineš, nebo razbiti i srušiti na one koji su ostali iza tebe. A ja? Ja ne marim. Uzimam krila. Letim. Širim krila i smijem se, pjevam od sreće. A oni dolje? Niti ih ne pogledam. Niti ih se ne sjetim. Ako me koji put što podsjeti odgurnem sjećanja, zatvorim um za njih i prepuštam se samo onome što mi čini zadovoljstvo.

E-mail adresa : judith_apc@net.hr

...

Čovjek sretne puno ljudi u svom životu.
Ali samo pravi prijatelji ostave tragove u njegovom srcu.

Bistri ljudi diskutiraju o idejama;
Prosječni ljudi o onome sto se svakodnevno događa;
Neobrazovani ljudi diskutiraju o drugim osobama.

Ima trenutaka u životu, kada nekoga želiš tako jako, da bi ga najradije otrgnuo iz sna i poljubio.

Sanjaj, ono što bi želio sanjati;
pođi tamo, gdje god želiš; budi, šta želiš biti,
jer imaš samo jedan život i samo jednu mogućnost, da stvoriš sve, što želiš stvoriti.

Sreća je za one, koji plaču;
za one, koji trpe;
za one , koji traže;
i za one, koji pokušavaju;
samo oni cijene vrijednost ljudi, koji su se dotaknuli njihovih života.

Ljubav se začne sa osmjehom,
raste sa poljupcima
i završi se u suzama.

Kada si se rodio,
plakao si
svi oko tebe su se smijali.
Život živi tako,
da umreš sa osmjehom
i onda će svi oko tebe plakati.

Zbogom, tugo
Dobar dan, tugo
Upisana si u brazdama stropa
Upisana u voljenim očima
Ne nalikuješ posve na bijedu
I najjadnije usne odaju te
Osmijehom
Dobar dan, tugo
Ljubavi ljupkih tijela
Ljubavi snago
Koje ljupkost izbija
Kao čudovište bez tijela
Obezličena glavo
Tugo lijepoga lica
P. Eluard

Far too many people are LOOKING for the right person, insted of trying to BE the right person.

There are two kinds of people in the world - those who walk into a room and say, "There you are," and those who say, "Here I am!"

Upravo zato što je tako topao, osmijeh je ljepši od bilo kojeg cvijeta na svijetu.

Become a better person and be sure to know who you are before meeting someone new and hoping that person knows who you are.

Gavran - Edgar Allan Poe

Ponoći sam jedne tužne proučavo, slab i snužden,
Neobične drevne knjige što prastari nauk skriše –
Gotovo da sam u san pao kad je netko zakucao,
Pred sobna mi vrata stao, kucajući tiho, tiše,
„Posjetilac“, ja promrmljah, „što u sobu ući ište,
Samo to i ništa više.“

Ah, da, još se sjećam jasno, u prosincu bješe kasno;
Svaki ugarak što gasne, sablasti po podu riše.
Žudim vruće za svanućem – uzalud iz knjiga vučem
Spas od boli što me muče – jer me od Nje rastaviše
Anđeli, što divnu djevu zvat Lenorom nastaviše –
Tu imena nema više.

Od svilenog tužnog šuma, iz zastora od baršuna
Nepoznati, fantastični užasi me ispuniše;
Da utišam srce svoje, ja ponavljam mirno stojeć:
„Posjetilac neki to je, što u sobu ući ište –
Posjetilac kasni koji možda traži zaklonište –
Eto to je, ništa više.“

Kad smjelosti malo stekoh, ne oklijevah nego rekoh:
„Gospodine ili Gospo, oprostite, evo stižem!
Zapravo sam malo drijemo, kucali ste tako nijemo,
Tako blago, pritajeno, i od mojih misli tiše;
Gotovo vas nisam čuo“ – i vrata se otvoriše –
Mrak preda mnom, ništa više.

Pogledom kroz tamu bludim; stojim, plašim se i čudim;
Ah, ne može smrtnik snove sniti što se meni sniše!
Al nevina bje tišina, znaka nije dala tmina,
S mojih usta riječ jedina pade poput kapi kiše,
„Lenora“ prošaptah tiho, jeka mi je vrati tiše,
Samo to, i ništa više.

U svoju se sobu vratih, dok u meni duša plamti;
Nešto jači nego prije udarci se ponoviše.
„Sigurno“, ja rekoh, „to je na prozoru sobe moje;
Da pogledam časkom što je, kakve se tu tajne skriše.
Mirno, srce. Da vidimo kakve se tu tajne skriše -
Valjda vjetar, ništa više.“

Prozorsku otvorih kuku, kad uz lepet i uz buku
Dostojanstven uđe Gavran, što iz drevnih dana stiže,
Ni da pozdrav glavom mahne, ni trenutak on da stane,
Poput lorda ili dame kroz moju se sobu diže
I na kip Palade1 sleti, što se iznad vrata diže.
Sleti , sjede, ništa više.

Kad ugledah pticu crnu, u smijeh tuga se obrnu,
Zbog ozbiljnosti dostojanstva kojim strogi lik joj diše.
„Nek si ošišana ptica“, rekoh, „nisi kukavica,
O, Gavrane, mrka lica, što sa Noćnog žala stiže,
Kako zovu te na žalu Hadske2 noći, otkud stiže?“
Reče Gavran: „Nikad više.“

Začudih se tome mnogo, što crn stvor je zborit mogo,
Premda malobrojne riječi malo što mi objasniše.
Al priznati mora sva'ko, ne događa se lako
Da živ čovjek gleda tako pticu što se nad njim njiše,
Na skulpturi iznad vrata, zvijer il pticu što se njiše,
S tim imenom „Nikad više“.

Gavran sâm na bisti sjedi; tek te riječi probesjedi,
Baš kao da cijelu dušu te mu riječi izraziše:
Više niti riječ da rekne – više ni da perom trepne –
Dok moj šapat jedva jekne: „Svi me drugi ostaviše,
Pa će zorom i on, ko što nade već me ostaviše.“
Tad će ptica: „Nikad više.“

Muk se razbi, ja, zatečen – na odgovor spremno rečen –
„Nema sumnje“, rekoh, „to je sve mu znanje, ništa više
Riječ od tužna gazde čuta, koga nevolja je kruta
Stalno pratila duž puta, pa mu sve se pjesme sliše,
Tužaljke se puste nade u jednu tegobu sliše,
U „Nikada – nikad više“.

Ali mi i opet Gavran tužne usne u smijeh nabra;
Dogurah pred kip i pticu moj naslonjač prekrit plišem:
Te u meki baršun padoh, povezivat mašte stadoh,
Na razmatranje se dadoh – kakvu mi sudbinu piše
Grobna, kobna drevna ptica – kakvu mi sudbinu piše
Kada grakće: „Nikad više.“

Sjeđah tražeć smiso toga, al ne rekoh niti sloga
Ptici, čije žarke oči srž mi srca opržiše.
Predan toj i drugoj mašti, pustih glavu mirno pasti
U taj baršun ljubičasti, kojim svjetlo sjene riše.
Sjest u baršun ljubičasti, kojim svjetlo sjene riše,
Ona neće nikad više.

Tad ko da se uzduh zgusnu, čudni miris me zapljusnu.
Začuh lagan hod serafa3, koji kadionik njiše.
„Bijedo“, kliknuh, „Bogu slava! Anđelima te spašava,
Šalje travu zaborava, uspomene da ti zbriše!
Pij, o pij taj blagi nepente4, nek Lenori spomen zbriše!“
Reče Gavran: „Nikad više“.

„Proroče, kog rodi prorok – vrag il ptica, ipak prorok!
Napasnik da l' posla tebe, il oluje izbaciše
Sama al nezastrašena usred kraja urečena,
U dom opsjednut od sjena, reci, mogu l' da me liše
Melemi iz Gileada5, mogu l' jada da me liše?“
Reče Gavran: „Nikad više“.

„Proroče, kog rodi prorok – vrag il ptica, ipak prorok! –
Neba ti, i Boga, po kom obojici grud nam diše,
Smiri dušu rastuženu, reci da l' ću u Edenu6
Grlit ženu posvećenu, L e n o r a je okrstiše,
Djevu divnu, jedinstvenu, koju anđeli mi skriše.“
Reče Gavran: „Nikad više“.

„Rastanak je to što kažeš“, kriknuh, „ptico ili vraže!
U oluji bježi, na žal Hadske noći otkud stiže!
Niti pera ne ispusti ko trag laži što izusti!
U samoći mene pusti! – nek ti trag se s biste zbriše!
Nosi lik svoj s mojih vrata, vadi kljun što srca siše!“
Reče Gavran: „Nikad više“.

I taj Gavran postojano, još je tamo, još je tamo,
Na Paladi blijedoj sijedi, što se iznad vrata diže;
Oko mu je slika živa oka zloduha što sniva,
Svjetlo koje ga obliva, sjenu mu na podu riše;
Moja duša iz te sjene, koja se na podu riše,
Ustat neće nikad više!

...songs...

A Perfect Circle - Judith

You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I'll never ever choose to be
Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you
F*ck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why

It's not like you killed someone
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
He did it all for you

Oh so many many ways for me to show you
How your dogma has abandoned you
Pray to your Christ, to your god
Never taste of the fruit
Never stray, never break
Never---choke on a lie
Even though he's the one who did this to you
You never thought to question why

Not like you killed someone
It's Not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side
Talk to Jesus Christ
As if he knows the reasons why
He did it all for you
Did it all for you
He did it all for you

A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras

Threw you the obvious
And you flew with it on your back
A name in your recollection
Down among a million, say:
Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
and you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't see me at all
Sleeping Beauty

Delusional
I believe I can cure it all for you, dear
Coax or trick or drive or
drag the demons from you
Make it right for you sleeping beauty
Truly thought
I can magically heal you

You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening
Failing miserably to rescue

The Killers - Read my mind

On the corner of main street
Just tryin' to keep it in line
You say you wanna move on and
You say I'm falling behind

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

I never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I got the green light
I got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

The good old days, the honest man;
The restless heart, the Promised Land
A subtle kiss that no one sees;
A broken wrist and a big trapeze

Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go, can you read my mind?

It’s funny how you just break down
Waitin' on some sign
I pull up to the front of your driveway
With magic soakin' my spine

Can you read my mind?
Can you read my mind?

The teenage queen, the loaded gun;
The drop dead dream, the Chosen One
A southern drawl, a world unseen;
A city wall and a trampoline

Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine
Before you go
Tell me what you find when you read my mind

Slippin’ in my faith until I fall
You never returned that call
Woman, open the door, don't let it sting
I wanna breathe that fire again

She said
Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind
Cause I don't shine if you don't shine

Put your back on me
Put your back on me
Put your back on me

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun
When you read my mind

Staind – Outside

And you bring me to my knees, again
All this time that I could beg you please, in vain
All the times that I felt insecure, for you
And I leave my burdens at the door
I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
'cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
All this time that I felt like this wont end
It's for you
And I taste what I could never have
Was from you
All those times that I tried
My intentions
Full of pride
And I waste more time than anyone
I'm on the outside
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you
All the times that I cried
All this wasting
It's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie here in bed
All alone
I cant mend but I feel
Tomorrow will be ok

Incubus - Love hurts

Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast the truth
Don't want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
As common as a cold day in L.A.

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface, this one-man submarine?
I only want the truth!
So tonight we drink to youth!
I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Without love I won't survive

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Love hurts, ohhh-oh ohh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts la-la-la-la-la-la oh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive

Lenny Kravitz - It ain't over 'til it's over

Here we are still together
We are one
So much time wasted
Playing games with love

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
To keep our love alive
But baby it ain't over 'til it's over

How many times
Did we give up
But we always worked things out
And all my doubts and fears
Kept me wondering, yeah
If I'd always, always be in love

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
And kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over
Over, over, over.

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
But baby It ain't over 'til it's over
So many years we've tried
To kept our love alive
'Cause baby it ain't over 'til it's over
Over, over, over

So many tears I've cried
So much pain inside
Baby It ain't over 'til it's over

David Bowie - Ashes to ashes

Do you remember a guy thats been
In such an early song
Ive heard a rumour from ground control
Oh no, dont say its true

They got a message from the action man
Im happy, hope youre happy too
Ive loved all Ive needed love
Sordid details following

The shrieking of nothing is killing
Just pictures of jap girls in synthesis and i
Aint got no money and I aint got no hair
But Im hoping to kick but the planet its glowing

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know major toms a junkie
Strung out in heavens high
Hitting an all-time low

Time and again I tell myself
Ill stay clean tonight
But the little green wheels are following me
Oh no, not again
Im stuck with a valuable friend
Im happy, hope youre happy too
One flash of light but no smoking pistol

I never done good things
I never done bad things
I never did anything out of the blue, woh-o-oh
Want an axe to break the ice
Wanna come down right now

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know major toms a junkie
Strung out in heavens high
Hitting an all-time low

My mother said to get things done
Youd better not mess with major tom
My mother said to get things done
Youd better not mess with major tom
My mother said to get things done
Youd better not mess with major tom
My mother said to get things done
Youd better not mess with major tom

Radiohead - True love waits

I'll drown my beliefs
To have you be in peace
I'll dress like your niece
To wash your swollen feet

Just don't leave, don't leave

And true love waits
In haunted attics
And true love wins
On lollipops and crisps

Just don't leave, don't leave

I'm not living
I'm just killing time
Your tiny hands
Your crazy kiss and smile

Just lonely, lonely..
Just lonely, lonely..

Traffic religion - Woman

Woman... sentimental genius
with planets all in line
the power you define

Woman.... the belly-button cycle
your skin to the moonlight
your eyes to the heart inside
moonlight...

Woman... we rape the melody
in every song we sing
in everything...

Woman... a lulaby of grace
alarm on the face of love
alarm on the face of love...

Sick Puppies - All the same

I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly

I don't care no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually
What you'll do

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long as you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
All of a sudden

And I have the skill, yeah I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
However long you stay
Is all that I am

I don't mind...
I don't care...
As long as you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes
It's all the same

In my life
The compromise
I close my eyes
It's all the same

Go ahead say it you're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same

...read my mind.... https://blog.dnevnik.hr/charisma1

ponedjeljak, 18.12.2006.

Thinking about you...

That's me, myself and I...

...friends...

...

...songs...