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sep 30, 2011 71/365
Every year without knowing it I have passed the day
When the last fires will wave to me
And the silence will set out
Like the beam of a lightless star
Then I will no longer
Find myself in life as in a strange garment
Surprised at the earth
And the love of one woman
And the shamelessness of men
As today writing after three days of rain
Hearing the wren sing and the falling cease
And bowing not knowing to what
W.S. Merwin’s “For the Anniversary of My Death”
I wasn’t really going to use the end of the poem but I realized it really goes with the picture, so you get it all.
Fall has fallen and the colors outside are starting to become really striking. I do love this time of year.
OK, it’s a few hours later. I just got back from the library—checked out LOTR—Fellowship of the Ring. Helped Fr. Jerome get a book that was on reserve. The poor clueless Johnnies working the desk were not much help at all. Jerome wasn’t much help to them either—he didn’t have the call number. I set off the alarm when I left. I used to think it was my camera, but I didn’t have it with me. I had nothing except my wallet, the dvd, and the school paper. Oh, well. The one clueless Johnnie wanted to stop me the other just waved me through. They were clueless—semi-cute, but their lack of skills at the library left me completely uninterested.
My room, if not completely clean, is cleaner than it was. Sweeping makes such a big difference. I’ve got two loads of laundry in at the moment. One is in the dryer, the other I just put in the washer. I have a lot of reading to do tomorrow.
Will be in a workshop tomorrow morning. Should be interesting. Well, to me—really not interesting to anyone who is likely to read this. It’s on the new translation of the Roman Missal—I think it’s mostly how to navigate the pages and stuff. Not so much on the language.
This (this entry is totally a random collection of thought—just in case you haven’t noticed by now)—anyway, this morning I missed morning prayer again. I could’ve made it. I just really don’t feel like all the time. Anyway, I got up and showered and then went for breakfast in the student dining hall. Hoping to avoid the view of all the monks when they come through (some monks like to come and toast a bagel or get a hot breakfast—the monastic dining room only has oatmeal and cold cereal)—so, again hoping to avoid all the monks that do come over, I sat towards the back of the dining hall. Well, several of them wanted to talk privately so they were looking for places to sit in the hall. They all ended up sitting around me. It always happens that way. Oh, well.
I stayed longer than most of them—mostly because the ROTC boys kept slowly arriving in groups of three or four. They haven’t been as interesting this year—mostly because the military professors haven’t been eating with them. Some of those guys were amazingly hot. Oh, well. Such is life.
I better go put my clothes in the dryer. I’m sure there is something else I wanted to write out tonight, though, so I’ll be back. Not that you’d notice me being gone, unless you also take this time to get up and walk away from the computer for about ten minutes….
OK, I’m back, and to be completely honest I was gone for longer than ten minutes. It really should have taken less than ten, but my clothes were not finished spinning. I went and had a cookie. Then came back here and watched some youtube videos. Then walked down the two flights of stairs and down the hall and back up the other two flights of stairs and put my clothes in the dryer. I feel bad about utilizing two dryers at the moment as they have so few around here, but at this time of night it should be OK. It’s far too late to actually start a fresh load in a washer, so I don’t feel that bad anymore. Then I starting think about how my clothes spin more than I do and perhaps if I actually did some spinning I wouldn’t have such weight and body image issues. That’s about all I’m going to say about that—just wanted to let you know what sometimes pops into my head at odd times and for odd reasons.
I remembered the other thing I wanted to write about. It’s not all that interesting, but it’s been with me for a little while so I’ll just get it out. Overheard a conversation tonight at dinner. Two of the guys at the end of the table had attended a workshop today about preaching. The one was the beefy southern monk who is in his first year of studies here. They didn’t really care for the idea that the presenters had about proclaiming the word of God—the presenter was advocating for a more dramatic sort of reading than what normally happens in church. Southern boy really didn’t like it. My only thought was—and I’m glad I didn’t voice it—was that nobody would give a shit about Jesus if he told all his parables and stories in a monotone like most priest and pious acting people in church do. I think it’s just pointing to the fact that I’m t
my upstate aunt's farm
My aunt, who lives where i grew up, in upstate new york, in the finger lakes region, sent to me this photo. I tried to take a picture of the photo, the table background makes a very good border, I feel; the "rustic wood" frame fits with this image.
So quiet here. Every sound, for miles around, can be heard, on a windless day. Only the birds, and a far far off farm tractor, maybe, can be heard. The hawks float over the filelds, their cry can be heard for a mile. On a claer day, I can see 60 miles across cayuga lake, from behind this barn
Incredibly difficult to take a picture of a glossy print, the refections stand out every time!
Then this image is a bit out of focus, maybe this also fits with the Mood, the mood of something that exists today, out of the 1950s, why my aunt still cans vegtables with mason jars, there are some things that can bertter than freezing. She is the church organists, and choir director, she has 8 kids and 26 grandkids.
she is right out of the old 1950s book, "wholesomeness" once meant something Real, and she is of this Cloth!
The house is behind the plants, the barn can dimly be seen, I like that feeling of the Open spaces, one can see why way into the distance, here on the high hill prairies of the finger lakes, this is the *very* beginning of the midwest, down to the Conservatism and even the tornadoes, one passed near here a few years ago.
*This* is the type of place where if you lived alone and cooked for yourself, that *meant* that you were not in a good place as there was no one that loved you, and you HAD to do everything for yourself: marrage and job stability counted nearly for all!
Church socials dish-to-pass, are alive and well, here.
I lived here in the 90s, in my small town of Interlaken, every ten years they build one house, they had just finished that one house, in 1997, a "mcmansion". A town of 600 people.
I would ofetn walk the four miles down to have supper with her and her husband
Why a day that I wanted to shop for stuff, as i lived in this town, why I could walk all over the two block-sized business section, and go into all of the stores to buy five things, in one hour if i wanted to, but I would spend hours talking to people. NOW I see what a great sevice Walmart, and the other large superstores have done, especially for seniors like me who cannot perhaps get around too well, why one can visit just one store and buy everything that you need, in one trip; critics of the big box stores forget this!
So pretty, in this mid-may scene, but the snowdrifts covered nearly the bushes last winter!
Her oldest son now owns and runs the farm, he grows organic soybeans.
So in this multi-tasking world of 40 minute commutes each way and where 60% of all food eaten is eaten in a car, and most windows do not open and earbuds are the rule, and NO ONE has the time to have a meal at home with the family,
[ I overheard one man, recently, bear his souls to his friend about how he FORCES his family to all sit down together one day a month, else no one ever ever would get them all togther, one meal, one person, who has the ability when each member has a different schedule?!]
Yes, in the big city if there are two teens in the family, the family needs four cars very muchly and the hairdresser is in *this* direction, and the school is in another direction: life is scattered in 20 places so 30 miles to shop or do your stuff, is the True Reality!
Thus a simpler life still exists, but who would want it if they had it?!
This aunt is a very very devout christian lady and most of her "kids" are too, they all are nearly "Amish" in their way of life and beliefs. They have been married, I think, for about 50 years, what marrage lasts even five years today: most of the people that I know under 50 have been divorced *several* times!
--the Price to pay for homemade cookies, in the age where many kids do not know what a homemade anything is!
the Price to pay for Certainitude of a certain ilk, the church is the center of the social life and bed by 10 and up by 7.
One summer week she had one of her oldest daughter's sons there
on vacation, this daughter had nine kids and she lives the life like of the Amish that are just down the road, she cooks all the food from scratch and NO television and computer ever, and Bible-homeschooling.
I ate supper with the three boys and now I Know what "Wholesome" really means; these teens were positive, outgoing, caring, with "clean" vibes..[recite the boy scout Oath, to describe them!]
Today the oldest boy is going to be a missionary in, I think, Central America.
[I note that the newly moved-in Amish people, here, in the 90s, also have very very happy kids, even if they are thin and raggy-clothes!
no tv or games or public school for them either: compare with the teens of today, in the cities!!]
You have to create your own entertainments, here!
how to clean up cookies on computer
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