B J FLORIST SUPPLY CO

A Minister's Treasury of Funeral and Memorial Messages

A "must have" for all pastors, this new handbook (5 1/2" wide by 7 3/4" high) will help you as you minister to persons in the critical time of grief. Jim Henry is pastor of a 10,000-member church in Orlando, Florida. He has been a pastor in service for thirty-six years and also served as president of the Southern Baptist Convention. Part 1 includes guidelines in seven vital areas of grief ministry including, what to do in the following situations: On Receiving Notification of a Death When Visiting in the Home Scheduling During the Funeral Home Visit During the Service When Concluding the Service At the Gravesite Part 2 includes twenty-three full-length funeral messages (4-8 pages each) for different situations including the following: Sudden unexpected death One who battled a long illness A military person of faith A child A student A godly wife, mother, or woman This is a much-needed manual for pastors, ministers, and laymen alike who are called on to minister in funeral and memorial services.

As many of you know, Youtube has a "Commenting Limit Exceeding" box where one has to type in the "word" that they see on the right after they have commented three of four times in a row so that the comment-box can be re-activated for commenting. I have gathered some of those particular "words" that were produced for me and have gone on to reproduce them as 'actual words,' in which I have also gone on to provide my own personal definitions for each of them:

Amycornis - "1. Aloofness, particularly when it comes to corn-on-the-cob; 2. A phobia of females that are named 'Amy'."

Busedise - "A discordant, mischievous child who, after being scolded, goes on to weep, and then hides in a corner while peeping at the remaining events."

Bailtylly - "1. The act of turning on a television for the sole purpose of listening to human voices. 2. A premature dropping of a coconut being recorded in slow motion."

Blerbill - "A quantification that suddenly appears above one's head, indicated in yellow, that blinks when one has a misguided assault on basic road signs/rules."

Buggrej - "One whom [a] never prefers the familiar word to the far-fetched; [b] never prefers the concrete word to the abstract; [c] never prefers the single word to the circumlocution; [d] never prefers the short word to the long; and, finally, [e] never prefers the Saxon word to the Romance."

Caliquises - "A studier of Codexes where one attempts to apply their findings to a Rebus Chart."

Chokell - "One whom chokes in Hades; particularly on brimstone-smoke."

Conabilym - "1. The scientific 'act' of gravity loosening the goosey-goosey of the icecream ball of an icecream-cone, making it fall to the ground; 2. An imposing villa with a tower that gets torn away by a force, particularly that of a force of mother nature."

Chmenuc - "A dangerous robotic assembly-line designed to facilitate the global guidelines of producing endowment chairs for students of any kind that take part in a question-and-answer session with a panel of other individuals."

Cialease - "A weak chin (while having absolutely nothing to do with foolish aristrocrats that were often sometimes mocked as 'chinless wonders')."

Damat - "An almost-invisible doormat for the human body where pathway enzymes are used as a growth substrate."

Derifie - "An undermining decision where a drama unfolds with extraordinary precautions."

Duleeriles - "A delirious individual whom wants to disappear in the same fashion as Joseph Crater."

Entw3im - "Individuals whom believe that Eustace III of Boulogne wasn't the killer of Harold II."

Fevingle - "1. A fever that lasts for only several minutes; 2. An enthusiastic Prince Charles impersonator whom gets a sudden fever."

Focaret - "A take-off on 'locaret' from Quum eas tabulus Roman portandus locaret, meaning 'when he gave out the contract for the conveyance of these paintings to Rome', but only to state the word, or quote, with ones mouth filled with either a beverage or textured food; or both."

Firepiqu - "To wound someone with fire while sneezing."

Harbrobe - "A countryful of infidels that wear bathrobes when promoting sustainable and equitable social transformation."

Huggkcqu - "A powerful hug that lasts longer than one expects, producing ill or fatal consequences."

Hypelyed - "One whom extravagantly overpromotes garlic with an immense amount of preparation."

Inggelet - "One whom is overly-fascinated with Vivienne Westwood, often claiming that they are actually her, or a relative of hers."

Jorniasl - "A noise-deficit of a few moments that is suddenly interrupted by loud sounds of disturbances that sound like dive-bombers with faint cries."

Liscizess - "1. Lockjaw that occurs when one is being lazy; 2. A lynch law that turns pretty."

Lessinf - "Another way of saying 'If only' or 'Less is more'."

Miximate - "1. To watch and/or observe air bubbles appearing on the surface of something; 2. To dodge ruins; 3. To decline an offer of something specific that can be eaten or sipped where one feels that it is unhygienic to put one's mouth where another individual's mouth has been."

Miastmetic - A condition in which one believes that, not only does the fictional island of Meropis exist (from Theopompus's Philippica), but also the idea that they are living on Meropis in their dreams, whether daydreaming and/or when their eyes are closed during r.e.m."

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