Rock`n`Roll from Rivendell

subota, 26.01.2008.

...ubijanje vremena...

Ja: Koja je najveća zemlja na svijetu u kojoj se govori portugalski?
On: Španjolska!
Ja: hm, onak ne. Pa valjda Brazil.
On: Ma no, pa to sam mislio. Znao sam da nije Portugal.

Ja: Junak iz sherwoodske šume....
On: Ben Hur
Ja: Gle, nije. Pa nisam ni stigo postavit pitanje do kraja.
On: ma kad si spor u pičku materinu.

Ja: kako se zove otac Mikija Mausa?
On: Šiljo
Ja: Prilično sam siguran da nije.
On: A kak ja uopće znam da su baš TVOJI odgovori točni, a moji su krivi, pa ipak sam ja ministar.
Ja: Moral buš mi vjerovat...

Ja: koji se jezik govori u nikaragvi?
On: rumunjski
Ja: ...?!...
On: Išao sam na sve ili ništa.

Ja: Proslavljeni Spielbergov film o velikom bijelom morskom
psu ljudožderu se zove...
On: Ratovi zvijezda.
Ja: Gle, ko prvo nije, a ko drugo opet me prekidaš.

Ja: Vodu u krutom stanju zovemo...
On: Kamen.
Ja: prekini me non-stop prekidat, jer...
On: ...no, jel je kamen?
Ja: Zakaj me prekidaš?
On: Gle ko prvo ti si htio da igramo ovu igru. A pošto je gajba prazna a zadnju frlju smo si smotali prije 2 sata, već me lagano živcira ta igra.
Ja: Sam ti ja kriv kaj si...
On: Kamen???????
Ja: ...nije....

Ja: S kojom državom Hrvatska ima najmanju granicu?
On: S Austrijom.
Ja: Kaj veliš ono? Teško se zaposlit ko ministar?

Ja: Najpoznatiji derbi Španjolske se igra izmedu Reala i ...
On: Madrida.
Ja: Nemoj me prekidat. I nije.

Ja: Kako nazivamo veliku količinu snijega koja se spušta niz
padinu ili planinu...
On: Gruda.
Ja: Možda bi i bila gruda, da si čuo pitanje do kraja!
On: To ti namjerno postavljaš trik pitanja, na koja niko ne zna odgovor.
Ja: Niko Kovač? I njegov brat također? Ne kaže se "niko" nego "nitko", moronu.
On: Mama ti je moron.

Ja: Kako se zove poznata kolumnistica iz "Globusa"?
On: Marija Jurić Zagorka.
Ja: Kolko god mi drago kaj me nisi prekinul, al odgovor je i dalje netočan.
On: Ja brijem da me ti podjebavaš.

Ja: Tko je rekao: "Ne srljajte kao guske u maglu?"
On: Franjo Tuđman.
Ja: Sumnjam.
On: Samo ti sumnjaj.

Ja: kako se zovu pripadnici japanske mafije?
On: ku klux klan
Ja: Sad kad malo razmislim, nisam ni ja siguran. Aj to ti je ko pol boda, za sad.
On: A kolko uopće do sad imam bodova?
Ja: Pol boda. Al dam ti još dva boda za lijepe oči.
On: Pošteno.

Ja: Najveca mačka na svijetu, sibirski ili bengalski ......
On: Štakor.
Ja: Štakor nije mačka.
On: Je ako ga tretiraš kao mačku.
Ja: Tebi treba jedan dugi "odmor".

Ja: Prema Homeru, koju su životinju od drveta konstruirali
Grci pri napadu na Troju?
On: Pinokija.
Ja: E moj Primorac, i s tim Pinokijem si jedva skupil 3 i pol boda. A prolaz je 7 bodova.
On: Ma nisam bio u formi. Aj opet iz početka.
Ja: Gle već smo 5 puta prošli sva ta pitanja, a ti nikak da se makneš od tih 3 i pol boda.





love is a burning thing
and it makes a fiery ring
bound by the wild desire
hell I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down down down
the flames they went higher
and it burns burns burns
that ring of fire
that ring of fire
that ring of fire

the chase of love is sweet
when hearts like ours meet
I fell for you like a child
oh my heart went wild

26.01.2008. u 22:20 • 9 KomentaraPrint#

subota, 19.01.2008.

...muška posla...

"Kad bumo na neki roštilj?" pitam ja njega.
"Ja više nikad u životu neću prisustvovat jednom takvom seksističkom eventu kao što je roštilj." odgovori on.
"Otkud sad to?" upitam ga neshvačajući o čem lik priča.
"Ma taj roštilj služi samo da ženske pretvara u robove. Prokleti hdz!" izjavi i pljune na spomen hdz-a, ali se zagrcne u tom prostom činu prisjetivši se da je on član te masonske korporacije.
"Kaj je, Dragane, usta funkcioniraju malo brže neg mozak, ha?" podjebavam si kompića.
"Ajd u kurac." hladno mi odbrusi.
"No, kakve su to brije o ženskom roblju i roštilju? Ma, ti si konačno puknuo. Jel te upozoravam već 2 godine da se riješiš stresa. Ali ne, neda se on. On mora bit ministar."
"Slušaj. Kad bi bar muške svinje imale obraza i PROGUTALE PONOS. Godinama sam proučavao fenomen roštilja i njegov socio-psihološki utjecaj. Pogledaj si malo bolje, ak nakon ovih 6 pivi još možeš razaznat slova." izvadi neki zgužvani papir iz đepa i gurne mi ga pod nos. Razmotam taj papirić, ali nisam baš mogao sva slova razaznat. Ne zbog cuge, neg zbog dima koji je zahvatio cijelu birtiju, uglavnom je to zasluga Primorca koji puši york za yorkom.
I gledam si ja taj papirić, a na papiru, crno na belo:
Roštilj. Jedina vrsta kuhanja koji bi "pravi" muškarac spremao.
Kad muškarac dobije ideju da bi roštiljao, slijedi ga lanac događaja koji je instant pušten u pokret.
(1) Žena ode do dućana.
(2) Žena spremi salatu, povrće, i desert.
(3) Žena pripremi meso za roštilj, stavi ga na pladanj sa ostalim potrebnim kuharskim alatima i potrebštinama, i odnese pladanj muškarcu, koji si čila pred roštiljčićem i cuga si pivo.
(4) Muškarac stavi meso na grill.
(5) Žena se vrati natrag u kuću da postavi stol i provijeri povrće.
(6) Žena izađe natrag van da kaže muškarcu da mu meso gori.
(7) Muškarac stavi meso u lonac s grilla i preda ga ženi.
(8) Žena pripremi tanjure i postavi ih na stol.
(9) Nakon ručka, žena očisti stol i opere suđe.
(10) Muškarac pita ženu da li joj je godio ovaj "slobodan dan".
I, nakon što je vidio njenu blago iživcirano naježenu reakciju, zaključuje da se ženama jednostavno nemre ugoditi.

"Đubrad muška." tiho prošapćem, zgužvam papirić, ugasim čik i bijesno se dignem sa stolca i odjurim sa šanka. Tu noć sam cijelu proveo u zahodu jecajući, dok je Dragan, uopće ne mareći za mene, zapjevao s onim lokalnim alikićima.
Kada bi samo PROGUTALI PONOS, pizda im materina. Samo mi se to vrtilo po glavu cijelu večer.



Winter is here and it's going on two years
Swallow my pride

And things were looking very grim but they're looking good again
Swallow my pride

Loose lips sink ships, they say but isn't it always that way?
Swallow my pride, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah

Winter is here and it's going on two years
Swallow my pride

And things were looking very grim but they're looking good again
Swallow my pride

Gonna have a real cool time and everything's gonna be real fine
Swallow my pride, oh yeah

19.01.2008. u 09:58 • 12 KomentaraPrint#

subota, 12.01.2008.

...čemu?...

...užitak je trenutan, pozicija je presmiješna, a trošak je prokleto visok...
...sex...
...čemu?...
...a onda opet...
...buahahahahahaha...



p.s. opet malo gajdi...

It's a long way to the top
If you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top
If you wanna rock 'n' roll

12.01.2008. u 13:08 • 13 KomentaraPrint#

subota, 05.01.2008.

...tradicija...

Zašto se svake godine mora slaviti sve bolja i bolja Nova godina? Zašto se na krstitke nose pare za klinca? Zašto moraš ić na familijske ručkove, a znaš da nitko od prisutnih ne želi? Zašto baš moraš kupit neki poklon za žić-Bo?
Nitko to ne voli. Neki čak mrze. E, a zašto to onda rade? Pa, zbog tradicije. Većina tu tradiciju podržava, jer se boji reakcije društva ako nešto ne učini na tradicionalni način. Mi, revolucionari, koji mislimo glavom, ne podržavamo tu tradiciju. Ona stvara pritisak.
Pažljivo proučite ovaj primjer, pa ćete shvatiti što je to ta tradicija:
Počni s kavezom u koji strpaš 5 majmuna. U kavezu, na sredini, objesi bananu na špagu i ispod postavi ljestve. Nedugo nakon toga jedan majmun će krenuti po ljestvama po bananu. Čim dotakne ljestve, sve ostale majmune polij mlazom ledene vode.
Ubrzo nakon nemilog događaja, sljedeći majmun će krenuti po bananu. Čim dotakne ljestve, polij sve ostale mlazom ledene vode. Ubrzo nakon toga, kada sljedeći majmun krene po bananu, ostali će ga pokušati spriječiti u nakani. Sad možeš spremiti šlauf za ledenu vodu. Makni jednog majmuna iz kaveza i stavi novog. Čim vidi bananu pridošlica će krenuti prema ljestvama. Na njegovo iznenađenje, sav prestravljen, shvatit će da ga ostali napadaju čim dotakne ljestve. Odustaje od banane jer shvaća da će pobrati batine ako krene prema banani.
Sljedeće, makni još jednog majmuna iz originalne postave i zamjeni ga s novim naivcem. Novajlija će krenuti na ljestve i bit će napadnut. Prethodni pridošlica će se s oduševljenjem pridružiti kažnjavanju! Ponovi postupak s još jednim majmunom iz originalne postave, gurni u kavez novog. Zatim i zadnjeg, petog iz originalne vrste, zamjeni s novim majmunom. Kada su svi originalni majmuni zamijenjeni, nijedan od 5 prisutnih u kavezu, nikada nije bio poliven hladnom vodom (šlauf se u šupi već osušio). Bez obzira na to, nijedan od majmuna nikada neće pokušati doći do banane.
Ako i pokuša, ostali će mu razbiti njušku.
Zašto?
Zato jer koliko oni znaju, tako se to ovdje radi odkad se pamti. To je tradicija.



A.C.D.C.
She got some other lover as well as me
A.C.D.C.
She got some other fella as well as me
She got some other lover as well as me

05.01.2008. u 00:15 • 12 KomentaraPrint#

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Opis bloga

Ovo je blog jednog prosječnog studenta ("visok, zgodan, plav", i lep u pičku materinu), koji je bezobrazno zgodan, uberseksualac (nema veze sa seksom), idealist, agnostik, eko-socijalist, indigo dijetete, antikapitalist, antihadezeovac, povremeni mizantrop, dislektičar, disflavičar, veseli pesimist, koji sluša rock, voli pročitat neki fantasy romančić, i voli "inteligentan" humor.
Pa kažem:

"...nije sve tak sivo, kad imaš s nekim otić na pivo..."

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"Rock Against Fascism!!!!"

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Svaka podudaranost sa stvarnim događajima je potpuno slučajna. Viđenja i mišljenja ove individue se ne mogu poistovijetiti sa viđenjima i mišljenjima uredništva blog.hr-a.
Prilikom stvaranja ovog bloga niti jedna životinja nije fizički zlostavljana.


Moj vjerni kompanjon, Dragan (čitaj Draža), koji je uvijek za akciju, kaže:
"Ma sve su to pizdarije."

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ko je moj pokemon

Blog.hr
- tata-mata blog

Liga naroda
- za one koji nisu intelektualno uskraćeni

studentska revolucija
- revolucija na djelu

moji vjerni paževi:

Alice.
- fensi blog; ima fetiš na promjenu imena blog adrese

Revontulet iliti Pefect Mask
- nema je, pa je ima, pa je nema, pa je opet ima

Temper
- ima sexy slike na svom blogu (onak, PUNO)

jeje
- baby punkerica from Istra

srdelica
- plava srdela

pet jahača apokalipse:

Lady Gladden iliti Bubblegum story
- veoma zanimljiva vlasnica ovog bloga

erik degenerik
- skandalozne prostote jednog zagorca

Broken Face Prussian
- žena koja nema kesu, iliti vrečicu

KonFucije
- jedini bloger koji smije bit zgodniji i više sexy od mene samog

mali dominik
- dete koje obečava

opis moje malenkosti

Rock`n`Roll, sociologija, pivo, roštiljade, Route 66, Pinta, Lord of the Rings, Monthy Python, R.A. Salvatore, George R.R. Martin, Pervan, motori, rock koncerti, drijemanje, Homer Simpson, Crna Guja, celtic rock,...

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LORD OF THE RINGS lyrics



"White Man In Hammersmith Palais" (The Clash)

Midnight to six man
For the first time from Jamaica
Dillinger and Leroy Smart
Delroy Wilson, your cool operator
Ken Boothe for UK pop reggae
With backing bands sound systems
And if they've got anything to say
There's many black ears here to listen
But it was Four Tops all night with encores from stage right
Charging from the bass knives to the treble
But onstage they ain't got no roots rock rebel
Onstage they ain't got no...roots rock rebel
Dress back jump back this is a bluebeat attack
'Cos it won't get you anywhere
Fooling with your guns
The British Army is waiting out there
An' it weighs fifteen hundred tons
White youth, black youth
Better find another solution
Why not phone up Robin Hood
And ask him for some wealth distribution
Punk rockers in the UK
They won't notice anyway
They're all too busy fighting
For a good place under the lighting
The new groups are not concerned
With what there is to be learned
They got Burton suits, ha you think it's funny
Turning rebellion into money
All over people changing their votes
Along with their overcoats
If Adolf Hitler flew in today
They'd send a limousine anyway
I'm the all night drug-prowling wolf
Who looks so sick in the sun
I'm the white man in the Palais
Just lookin' for fun
I'm only
Looking for fun




"Stairway To Heaven" (Led Zeppelin)

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who standing looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.




"You Shook Me All Night Long" (AC/DC)

She was a fast machine she kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman that I ever seen
She had the sightless eyes telling me no lies
Knocking me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there
Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it
And you shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

I'm working double time on the seduction line
She's one of a kind she's just mine all mine
Wanted no applause it's just another course
Made a meal outta me
And come back for more
Had to cool me down to take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing
Cause the walls were shaking the earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it
And you shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long
Knocked me out I said you
Shook me all night long
You had me shaking and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me
When you took me

You really took me and you
Shook me all night long
You shook me all night long
Yeah, yeah, you shook me all night long
You really got me and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me
Yeah you shook me
All night long




"My Head's In Mississippi" (ZZ Top)

I'm shufflin' thru the Texas sand,
But my head's in Mississippi.
I'm shufflin' thru the Texas sand,
But my head's in Mississippi.
The blues has got a hold of me.
I believe I'm gettin' dizzy. (Spoken: Help me now.)

I keep thinkin' 'bout that night in Memphis,
Lord, I thought I was in Heaven.
I keep thinkin' 'bout that night in Memphis,
I thought I was in Heaven.
But I was stumblin' thru the parking lot
Of an invisible seven eleven. (Spoken: What was I doin out there?)

Where's my head baby?
Somewhere in Mississippi.

Last night I saw a cowgirl.
She was floatin' across the ceiling.
And last night I saw a naked cowgirl.
She was floatin' across the ceiling.
She was mumblin to some howlin' wolf
About some voodoo healin'. (Spoken: Mmm Baby.)




"The Rocky Road To Dublin (Traditional)" (Dropkick Murphys)

In the merry month of June, From my home I started,
Left the girls of Tuam, Nearly broken hearted,
Saluted me father dear, Kissed me darling mother,
Drank a pint of beer, My grief and tears to smother,
Then off to reap the corn, And leave where I was born,
Cut a stout blackthorn, To banish ghost and goblin,
In a brand new pair of brogues, go rattling o'er the bogs,
Frightening all the dogs, On the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four, five

In Mullingar last night, I rested limbs so weary,
Started by daylight, Next morning bright and early,
Took a drop of the pure, To keep my heart from sinking,
That's the Paddy's cure, When he's on the drinking.
See the lassies smile, Laughing all the while,
At me darling style, 'Twould set your heart a-bubbling.
Asked me was I hired, The wages I required,
Till I was almost tired, Of the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four, five
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!

In Dublin next arrived, I thought it such a pity,
To be so soon deprived, A view of that fine city.
Decided to take a stroll, All among the quality,
My bundle it was stole, In a neat locality;
Something crossed my mind, When I looked behind;
No bundle could I find, Upon me stick a wobbling.
Enquiring for a rogue, They said me Connacht brogue,
Wasn't much in vogue, On the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four, five
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!

From there I got away, Me spirits never failing
Landed on the quay just as the ship was sailing;
Captain at me roared, Said that no room had he,
then I jumped aboard, A cabin found for Paddy,
Down among the pigs played some funny rigs,
Danced some hearty jigs, The water round me bubbling,
When off to Holyhead, Wished myself was dead,
Or better far instead, On the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four, five
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!

The boys of Liverpool, When we safely landed,
Called meself a fool; I could no longer stand it;
Blood began to boil, Temper I was losing,
Poor old Erin's isle They began abusing,
"Hurrah my soul," sez I, Let the shillelagh fly;
Some Galway boys were nigh, Saw I was a hobbling,
With a loud hurray, They joined me in the fray.
Soon we cleared the way, O'er the rocky road to Dublin.

One, two, three, four, five
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!
One, two, three, four, five
Hunt the hare and turn her down the rocky road and all the way to Dublin, whack-fol-la-de-da!




"Loch Lomond" (The Real McKenzies)

O ye'll tak' the high road and I'll tak' the low road
And I'll be in Scotland afore ye
But me and my true love will never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond

By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie shore
On the steep, steep side o' Ben Lomond
Where in deep purple hue, the hieland hills we view
And the moon comin' out in the gloamin'

Twas there that we parted in yon shady glen
On the steep, steep side o Ben Lomond
Where in deep purple hue, the hieland hills we view
And the moon comin' out in the gloamin'

The wee birdies sing and the wild flowers spring
And in sunshine the waters are sleeping
But the broken heart, we'll never meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond




"I`m Free" (The Rolling Stones)

I'm free to do what I want any old time
I'm free to do what I want any old time
So love me hold me love me hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want

I'm free to sing my song knowing it's out of trend
I'm free to sing my song knowing it's out of trend
So love me hold me love me hold me

'Cause I'm free any olf time to get what I want

So love me hold me love me hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want

I'm free to choose who I see any old time
I'm free to bring who I choose any old time
Love me hold me love me hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want




"Deuce" (KISS)

Get up
And get your grandma outta here
Pick up
Old Jim is workin' hard this year
And baby
Do the things he says to do
Baby, if you're feeling good
And baby if you're feeling nice
You know your man is workin' hard
He's worth a deuce

Honey
Don't put your man behind his years
And baby
Stop cryin' all your tears

Baby
Do the things he says to do
Do it

Baby, if you're feeling good
And baby if you're feeling nice
You know your man is workin' hard
He's worth a deuce

And baby, if you're feeling good
Yes baby if you're feeling nice
You know your man is workin' hard
Yeah




"Children Of The Night" (Whitesnake)

I'm getting ready
I'm in the mood to fool around
It's time for action
Now the boys are back intown

So turn up the music
Make it loud and proud
Let's see reaction
Let the spotlite hit the crowd

Don't hide what you feel inside
Don't let anybody stand in your way
Just let the music take you higher

Now are you ready to rock
Children of the Night
Are you ready to roll
Children of the Night

You got the power
I feel your fire in my soul
You got the fever
Cos you were born to rock an' roll
Don't run for cover
I'm gonna show you what I've learned
Just come a little closer
Come on an' get your fingers burned

Don't hide what you feel inside
Don't let anybody stand in your way
Just let the music take you higher

Now are you ready to rock
Are you ready to roll

Are you ready to rock

Now are you ready to rock
Children of the Night
Are you ready to roll
Children of the Night

I'm getting ready
I'm in the mood to fool around
It's time for action
Cos' now the boys are back in town

Don't hide what you feel inside
Don't let anybody stand in your way
Just let the music take you higher

Now are you ready to rock
Children of the Night
Are you ready to roll
Children of the Night

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