Kazimierz, part 1 – Who Wants to Live Forever, iliti Leicht Motiv
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Kazimierzova se duša već danima, prvo egzaltirana, a zatim prizemljena u stanje neoklasicističke realnosti, koprcala iza vrata MadDogova Pakla. I on je znao da tome tako još dugo ne može biti... I spremao se na svoj vlastiti pogreb, uređivao je legacije, pisao posljednju volju i oporuku... Jer, uistinu... Who Wants To Live Forever Queen There's no time for us There's no place for us What is this thing that builds our dreams Yet slips away from us Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever....? There's no chance for us It's all decided for us This world has only one sweet moment Set aside for us Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever? Who dares to love forever? When love must die But touch my tears with your lips Touch my world with your fingertips And we can have forever And we can love forever Forever is our today Who wants to live forever Who wants to live forever? Forever is our today Who waits forever anyway? Kroz bujičavost misli koja ga je pratila tijekom cijeloga ponedjeljka, iako u gradu, među ljudima, on nije izšao iz sjene, na svjetlost dana... Funkcionirao je mehanički... Misli su bile premnoge, preintenzivne... a kada je konačno nastupilo otrježnjenje, osjećao se vrlo zahvalno... jer bilo je previše, premnogo svega... I kao već nebrojeno puta do sada, uronio je u pjesmu... kao što je to i inače činio u kritičnim momentima... There Is the Light That Never Goes Out The Smiths Take me out tonight Where there's music and there's people Who are young and alive Driving in your car I never never want to go home Because I haven't got one anymore Take me out tonight Because I want to see people And I want to see life Driving in your car Oh please don't drop me home Because it's not my home, it's their home And I'm welcome no more And if a double-decker bus Crashes into us To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die And if a ten ton truck Kills the both of us To die by your side Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine Take me out tonight Take me anywhere, I don't care I don't care, I don't care And in the darkened underpass I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last But then a strange fear gripped me And I just couldn't ask Take me out tonight Oh take me anywhere, I don't care I don't care, I don't care Driving in your car I never never want to go home Because I haven't got one No, I haven't got one And if a double-decker bus Crashes in to us To die by your side Is such a heavenly way to die And if a ten ton truck Kills the both of us To die by your side Well the pleasure, the privilege is mine There is a light that never goes out There is a light that never goes out There is a light that never goes out There is a light that never goes out Iako je pouzdano znao da u toj pjesmi može prepoznati bar nekoliko scena iz njegova života, (na kojega se Kazimierz nikada nije žalio...) prihvaćao je pražnjenje njegove klepsidre onako kako je i trebao prihvatiti... ponizno... krotko... Premda mu je ta pjesma značila mnogo, on je više nije doživljavao auto-destruktivno, kao što ju je doživljavao nekada... sada je konačno znao izdići se iznad njene destruktivnosti, naći u njoj onu punoću osjećaja... A upravo je ta punoća osjećaja, prepuštanja i svega ostaloga bila afirmativna... ona je bila destrukcija destrukcije... ergo... konstrukcija... Opet, prisjećanja... i opet taj strašni leicht motiv koji se je već toliko puta zrcalio u njegovom mozgu... u njegovoj duši... Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Into My Arms I don't believe in an interventionist God But I know, darling, that you do But if I did I would kneel down and ask Him Not to intervene when it came to you Not to touch a hair on your head To leave you as you are And if He felt He had to direct you Then direct you into my arms Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms And I don't believe in the existence of angels But looking at you I wonder if that's true But if I did I would summon them together And ask them to watch over you To each burn a candle for you To make bright and clear your path And to walk, like Christ, in grace and love And guide you into my arms Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms And I believe in Love And I know that you do too And I believe in some kind of path That we can walk down, me and you So keep your candles burning And make her journey bright and pure That she will keep returning Always and evermore Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms, O Lord Into my arms No ovoga je puta sve bilo drugačije... i iako to Kazimierz neće nikada priznati, potresen pjesmom, proživio je ono što je toliko trebao – katarzu... oslobođenje... smirenje... I tada je Kazimierz otkazao pokornost... iz sporadičnih reminiscencija, zapisa, on se iznenadno, ali definitivno, profilirao u neovisnu osobu... I počeo je egzistirati svom svojom nepredvidivošću, kao neukroćeni vulkan... tako različit od Andre, tako... živ... Prisjetio rekurentnog sna, kojega je sanjao u nastavcima između Cvjetnice i Uskrsa ove godine, a sami su nastavci slijedili točno tamo gdje su i bili prekinuti prilikom prethodnog buđenja... U svoj svojoj strašnoj ljepoti, u precrnoj, predugoj haljini struka uhvaćenog poširokom falernitanskom vinskom trakom, zaogrnuta pashminom satkanom od mirijada Mjesečevih zraka, srebrnastih, koje su parale njegov um... stajala je... Ona Koja Je Oduvijek Bila, Koja Jest I Koja Će Zauvijek Biti… I sjećao se svih međusobno izmjenjenih rituala između njega i njegove Premile, sjećao se ceremonije približavanja, prosidbe pod svjetlom svijeća... kao i stavljanja vjenčanog prstena na prst njegove otežale, onemoćale ruke... Iz njegove se vanjštine ni po čemu nije moglo zaključiti o čemu razmišlja... tek je blagi smješak na njegovu licu ocrtavao neko nedefinirano unutarnje zadovoljstvo, koje nije imalo nikakovu podlogu u realnom svijetu... Oči joj je već poklonio i nije ih želio natrag... počeo je spoznavati svijet kroz njegove zvuke, kroz njegovu toplinu... toplina dana okupala je Kazimierzovu dušu, i on je pomislio: u miru sam sa samim sobom... konačno... kakav Savršen Dan... Perfect Day Lou Reed & Friends Lou Reed - Just a perfect day, Drink Sangria in the park... Bono - ...And then later, when it gets dark... Morcheeba - ...We go home.... David Bowie - ...Just a perfect day... Suzanne Vega - ...Feed animals in the zoo... Elton John - ...Then later, a movie, two, And then home... Boyzone - ...Oh it's such a perfect day... Lesley Garrett - ...I'm glad I spent it with you... Burning Spear - ...Oh! such a perfect day... Bono - ...You just keep me hanging on... Thomas Allen - ...You just keep me hanging on... Brodsky Quartet - (Instrumental) Heather Small - ...Just a perfect day... Emmylou Harris - ...Problems all left alone... Tammy Wynette - ...Weekenders on our own... Shane McGowan - ...It's such fun... Sheona White - (Instrumental) Dr. John - ...Just a perfect day... David Bowie - ...You made me forget myself... Robert Cray - ...I thought I was someone else... Huey - ...Someone good... Yeah Ian Broudie - ...Oh! it's such a perfect day... Gabrielle - ...I'm glad I spent it with you... Dr. John - ...Oh such a perfect day... Evan Dando - ...You just keep me hanging on... Emmylou Harris - ...You just keep me hanging on... Courtney Pine - (Instrumental) Andrew Davis/BBC Symphony Orchestra - (Instrumental) Brett Anderson - ...You're going to reap just what you sow... Visual Ministry Choir - ...Reap, reap reap... Joan Armatrading - ...You're going to reap... Laurie Anderson - ...Just what you sow... Heather Small - ...You're going to reap just what you sow... Tom Jones - ...You're going to reap just what you sow... Visual Ministry Choir - ...Reap, reap reap what you sow... Lou Reed - ...Oh! What a perfect day... Mojoj Premiloj... za sve one Savršene Dane koje mi je blagoizvoljela pokloniti... Hvala Ti, Premila moja :)) I love You... Forever & Ever & Evermore UPDATE (30.09.2007. 16:03) Kazimierz Kažiprstowsky ovime objavljuje Urbi et Orbi da je u 15:52:27 po srednjeevrposkom vremenu prestao pušiti. Dixi. Punctum. (senilac stari, zaboravio je dvije jako bitne, pače krucijalne riječi... jer bi bez njih sve skupa moglo biti shvaćeno kao pošalica, vic... EDIT 30.09.2007. 20:10) Ugodan ostatak dana vam želim :)) |