WEEKEND COOKING CLASSES LONDON - CLASSES LONDON
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Weekend Cooking Classes London
Pippa and her Dad
Meet Bernie, Pippa’s Dad (he looks like a Bernie doesn’t he?). Bernie wasn’t around much when Pippa was growing up. He joined the circus after the incident with the bowling ball at the Turkey farm, thinking it best to keep a low profile for a while. After touring Europe as a ‘Flingo the Human Cannonball’ for a number of years, he met up with a New Age folk band from Skegness who were trying to break in to the Big Time. After changing the name of the band from Maurice and his Travelling Minstrels to Chemical Erection, they had limited success in the States. Bernie fronted for the band when Maurice broke his leg whilst trying out a new Morris Dance on a waterslide. He was an overnight success and EMI signed him up as a solo artist. His first gig was to be at Woodstock, but a few hours before he was due to go on stage, Bernie stopped at a tent and ate a mushroom omelette kindly cooked by a young lady called Venus Star Child who it turns out was also from Skeggy. The rest of the festival was a bit of a blur and when Eric ‘woke up’ in an Ashram in Southern India 3 weeks later with no idea of how he got there, he realised his shot at the Big Time was over.
Bernie spent the next year on the Ashram as a ‘herbal cigarette’ roller for the Hippy Western tourists who flocked there in droves searching for ‘enlightenment’. After an argument with John Lennon over his relationship with Yoko and the resulting fight involving a psychedelic Volkswagen van and 600 kilos of Mellow Yellow (AKA banana peel…which doesn’t work by the way…I tried), Bernie was asked to leave.
He took a deck-hand job on a steamer ship transporting coal to Newcastle. The ship was wrecked off the coast of China but Bernie was rescued by a group of Buddhist Monks who taught him the art of master…I mean meditation. Bernie spent several years protecting the grass from the annual Yak migration. By the mid-seventies, Bernie’s feelings of homesickness became so great that he decided to return to England and took various jobs along the way including Elephant driver, Afghan Poppy bleeder and brief stint as an exotic snake dancer in a gender reassignment clinic in Marrakech.
In 1979 Bernie eventually arrived in England just as Pippa’s career was coming to an end. All the glitz and glamour of the fame game had finally corrupted Pippa and Palitoy decided not to renew her contract after the poor girl was caught in a compromising position with a Politician and a chimney sweep in the Chimp enclosure at London Zoo. (The government hushed it up and paid Pippa off to keep her gob shut…which is what got her into trouble in the first place…oops;o). Pippa spent several months in a high-class…(I know what you think I’m going to say)…rehabilitation clinic (see, you were wrong) after which she decided to look for her long-lost father. Pippa was just boarding the plane to Istanbul (the last place she heard he was) when she spotted Bernie having an argument with a customs officer over a bag of ‘herbal tea’ he was trying to bring into the country. Pippa called in one last favour from her MP friend and managed to get the charges dropped.
After a heart rending reconciliation which gave Pippa an opportunity to get to know her wayward Dad, Bernie opened up the first Yak farm in the UK. After the bankruptcy, he decided to go into the antique business where he made a small fortune from selling 17th century French leather sex aids. He now lives very close to Madonna’s mansion with whom he goes Rambler shooting at the weekend. Bernie still keeps a small antique and ‘herbal remedy’ shop in Brighton where he occasionally spends time keeping busy (see pic).
29:365 Night, night
Jan 21st 2010
Visited my parents last night as my brother James and girlf Cathy were over. Mum, Rich, James and Cathy were off to do pub-quiz but I decided to come home because I wanted to do a bit more on the assessment I needed to hand in draft in today at 3pm.
I did a little then I did a little surfin' on Flickr, Amazon, E-Bay and some camera websites. Was looking for, amongst other things, used lenses but got totally bogged down in all the technical stuff and was no better off.
Paul called to wish me goodnight. He is at his parents then off down south to work the weekend, and then he heads to London for the rest of next week so I probably won't see him till next weekend (boo.) but at least we chat over the phone.
Went to bed eventually, but decided to read past the time shown on the clock. I get embroiled in the book I read and find it hard to put down. This one is faintly ridiculous - set in Dublin, a girl aged 37 is searching for a man to marry. She attends a class which promises that if she follows the rules she's have a husband in a year. The rules - to go back to all the ex-es and ask why they dumped her! Of course she has someone she is still fond about but he turned up and said he was getting married (even though be refused to marry her and didn't want to get married) and would be living across the road. So...am about half way through and she's just agreed to a date with an older, unlikely guy...
Thought I'd sneak in a nightime pic because I knew I was gonna be busy today.
My day went ok, met my deadline and made, I hope, a half decent attempt at the assessment.
Spoke to Paul. He'd had a meeting so he wanted to off-load before heading south.
Now I'm off to see my Mum who's cooking me tea (hurrah for Mums!) and I'll have a bath and relax whilst I'm there - in between catching up with Corrie (which won a big award last night so am pleased!).
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